A year after the first and only hostage release deal, mental health experts are documenting increasingly complex psychological challenges among the released captives, especially children. This emerges from a comprehensive assessment conducted by four psychologists from the Hostages and Missing Families Forum, who have provided voluntary mental health services since October 7, 2023, particularly to hostage families and released captives.

Marking the agreement's anniversary, the specialists have documented their unprecedented experience treating released child hostages and drafted policy recommendations highlighting the critical need for government-funded trauma therapy. While 35 children and youth under 18 have returned from captivity in Gaza,  two siblings – 5-year-old Ariel and 2-year-old Kfir Bibas – remain in captivity.

The burden of survival

Research findings reveal that the children exhibit multiple physical manifestations of emotional distress, including gastrointestinal problems and headaches, diminished frustration tolerance, profound survivor's guilt – particularly when a parent remains captive – and anxiety triggered by exposure to Arabic.

Their psychological trauma is further complicated by cognitive dissonance: in many cases, their captors both imprisoned and protected them, while IDF operations were perceived as life-threatening. The children in treatment also demonstrate a fundamental loss of faith in adult authority figures.

"The deepest psychological wound comes from the perceived failure of those meant to protect them. While it was clear why Hamas is bad, children struggle to understand why the IDF didn't rescue them and why the government hasn't secured everyone's release... it disrupts their entire moral framework," Professor Ofrit Shapira-Berman from the Hebrew University, who treats both former hostages and their families, explained.

"Some Hamas guards showed occasional moments of mercy – providing drawing materials, offering chocolate. They weren't simply monsters, and this complexity troubles the children deeply. The clear division between good and evil typically offers a sense of security. Rebuilding trust after its foundation has been shattered presents an enormous challenge.

"These children face significant academic difficulties and difficulty concentrating. Our greatest concern is their shattered trust in adult authority – military, government, parents – all perceived as having failed them. From their perspective, every adult tasked with protecting them fell short. Moreover, they spent their captivity witnessing adults around them break down, grieve, and experience paralyzing fear. These experiences will have lasting repercussions."

Public spotlight intensifies trauma

Professor Shapira-Berman highlights another challenge: the hostages' involuntary thrust into public prominence. "Their initial return was marked by overwhelming euphoria and relief, surrounded by intense – sometimes suffocating – support. Over time, this attention has become increasingly burdensome. Their unwanted celebrity status complicates recovery. They face constant approaches from strangers, unsolicited hugs, and invasive questions. Young women endure particularly insensitive inquiries about sexual assault and menstruation during captivity. These interactions are deeply troubling." She added that "some families have fractured under the trauma's weight. Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon."

However, the most pervasive challenge among all patients centers on guilt over those still held in Gaza – whether parents or community members. "This affects every single former hostage. Healing remains elusive while others remain captive. The combination of guilt, constant advocacy for those still held, and the pervading communal grief creates an overwhelming psychological burden. Those released within the first two months show promising potential for recovery, potentially returning to productive and creative lives. Later releases face a more complex journey. Full recovery hinges on the return of all hostages. Without this resolution, trust in state institutions cannot be restored."

Full recovery is possible only after all hostages return

"Captivity's psychological impact reveals itself gradually. The initial euphoric 'honeymoon period' upon return gives way to various symptoms that, without proper intervention, risk developing into severe post-traumatic disorders affecting all aspects of functioning."

Their recommendations emphasize allowing returning families (both children and adults) freedom to choose their treatment location and preferred specialist. They stress that therapists must possess advanced trauma treatment certification and advocate for private-sector treatment options to ensure consistency, privacy, and confidentiality. In any case, the public system for treating former hostages must include senior therapists who specialize in trauma treatment.

Regarding families with loved ones still in captivity, the experts emphasize that "meaningful therapeutic progress remains impossible while their family members are held in Gaza. As mental health providers working with these families, we confirm that current treatment focuses primarily on emotional support, helping them maintain resilience as they continue their advocacy efforts. True recovery for family members can only begin once their loved ones return from captivity."

The specialists express alarm that some children received no initial treatment upon return and remain without psychological support. Contributing factors include destroyed family structures due to parental loss, displacement from their homes, and mismatches with available therapists. "Many children resist treatment, unable to confront their trauma. This is particularly evident among those with parents still held hostage in Gaza."

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Ukraine's first lady Olena Zelenska will visit Israel next week at the invitation of her counterpart in Jerusalem, Michal Herzog.

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The wife of President Isaac Herzog will escort the wife of Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskyy during her time in the Jewish state, with a focus on post-trauma therapies.

The visit comes against the backdrop of Israel providing humanitarian aid to the people of Ukraine who are suffering under the Russian invasion of their country. Israel has also taken in refugees and provided medical treatment to the wounded.

On Monday, the two women will visit Safra Children's Hospital at Sheba Medical Center in Ramat Gan. After that they will they will proceed to a professional discussion with the National Coalition for Trauma and NATAL—The Israel Trauma and Resiliency Center, a nonprofit organization specializing in the field of war-and-terror-related trauma, together with senior representatives from Israel's Foreign Ministry and the European Union.

"Mrs. Zelensky's visit is the result of a collaboration that took place over the past year to strengthen therapists in the field of mental health and trauma care in Ukraine, and as a result of the relationship formed between the wife of the country's president, Michal Herzog, and the first lady of Ukraine, Olena Zelenska, in these fields," said the President's Office.

 Reprinted with permission from JNS.org.

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Adriana dreamed of giving birth naturally and could not imagine even in her worst nightmares that she would be pressured to take painkillers and induce labor. Bat Ami was recovering after giving birth to a baby girl when the nurse made her get up from the bed only to check out her back tattoo. Ariel was in agony when her obstetrician firmly pressed on her stomach – without prior warning – to get the baby out, using a maneuver considered outdated and highly controversial. Tal was told that unless she agreed to a C-section, she "was killing her baby." 

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Israel Hayom has spoken to dozens of women in recent weeks who had given birth and felt that their rights, especially those of bodily integrity and autonomy, were violated by the medical staff. 

A milestone as important as giving birth, which was supposed to have been intimate, profound, and exciting, turned horrific when doctors and nurses reportedly violated the patients' privacy, performing procedures without consulting them or asking their permission. 

"It felt like they took responsibility for your body, and you no longer had control over it," Bat Ami, who has gone through three difficult births in recent years, said. 

For Reut, who gave birth two years ago, the trauma is still present. 

Labor is when "I am in my most intimate state, and they take away my strength, control, and faith. They kept saying, 'The most important thing is that the baby comes out healthy,' which makes you think it's okay that they performed a procedure on you without asking first, and that maybe it's okay that the obstetrician pushed hard on your stomach to get the baby out, a procedure that is now not allowed to be performed in any hospital."

Reut was referring to the Kristeller maneuver, named after German gynecologist Samuel Kristeller, which was developed in the late 19th century and involves applying pressure to the uppermost part of the uterus directed towards the birth canal, in an attempt to assist spontaneous vaginal birth. A highly debated technique, it is considered dangerous due to the risk of broken bones, organ damage, and other painful health problems. 

"But it is terrible, terrible," Reut continued. "And that is why I have decided to share what I went through. So that no other woman has to go through what I went through." 

"Why did you have to give birth tonight?"

The women often said they felt "helpless" during labor, and that their original plan – to give birth at the hospital naturally – went awry when against their will, they either had to have induced labor or even surgery. 

Reut, for instance, planned to give birth naturally and chose a hospital near Tel Aviv, because she was told the staff actually listened to the mother-to-be. 

"In reality, it turned out to be the exact opposite," she lamented. It took me some time to arrive at the hospital, "and the moment I walked in, they scolded me for not having arrived earlier. They took me to the delivery room, and the midwives were really sweet. In the evening, I began to have strong contractions, and for hours I was with an open uterus, which signals readiness for giving birth [naturally,] but the doctor began to pressure me to induce labor.

"He would enter the delivery room every few minutes, saying that the monitor showed that the fetal heart rate was dropping, which signaled possible danger. But the midwife had told me that everything was fine and that the fetus was not in danger and that the heart rate had dropped only because of the contractions. 

"Then all of a sudden, during a contraction, while the nurse was supporting me, he told her to stop and told me, 'Listen to me now, you are endangering the fetus, and you need to give birth now – vacuum or surgery.' I told him I didn't want to, that I felt that I could give birth naturally.

"The midwife told him that she could already see the baby's head, that I could give birth naturally, but he approached me, pressed on my ribs in an effort to expedite the process [through the Kristeller maneuver]. I screamed in agony and told him he was hurting me. In hindsight, I don't understand how I allowed him to do this to me, but he did. When I screamed in pain, he took a step back and said to stop everything. He decided to perform a vacuum extraction. 'It's your decision, but my responsibility and you are about to kill your baby,'" he said. 

"I didn't want to oppose the doctor, because he surely knew what was best. But I feel that everything could have gone differently. The doctor might be walking around thinking he saved my life and the life of my baby, but for me, it was a very difficult experience." 

Adriana chose to give birth to her son at a hospital far from home because she too was told that the medical team listened to the patient, and even encouraged natural birth. 

But when she arrived, already in active birth, with contractions and an open cervix, she felt she was giving birth under pressure to follow medical protocols, which included taking painkillers, contrary to earlier promises, and the doctors and nurses being inattentive to her needs and requests. 

"My pregnancy went well and I dreamed of giving birth naturally without any intervention. When I first visited the hospital, it sounded to me like the staff would be really attentive to my needs. But when I got there, at 41 weeks and 3 days, I realized that I had been deceived."

According to Adriana, from the moment she arrived, she was pressured to take epidural or laughing gas to help with the pain. "

"When I told the obstetrician I didn't want to, she shouted at me, 'You will do as we say.' I was shocked. I got up, while having contractions, and asked her why she was talking to me like that. In response, she sat me back down. I realized there was nothing I could do, and it was a very difficult feeling. I arrived at the hospital feeling well, and I thought I would have the birth of my dreams, but got to a point where I felt helpless. I was pressured to get epidural or painkillers, and no matter how much I explained that I wanted a natural birth, the staff kept pressuring me.

"At some point, the birth stalled, and when the senior doctor walked in and saw that there was no progress, he said, 'Why did you have to give birth tonight?' I will never forget that sentence. He didn't say 'Hello,' nothing. 'Why did you have to give birth tonight?'

"I felt they wanted to hurry the process along. Some women spend 20 hours in labor, and I was actually further along, but then the monitor showed a slowing heartbeat. I was having contractions, in pain, begging to be allowed to focus on the process, but after countless doctors came and went trying to pressure me into agreeing, I gave in. 

"The staff pressured me to have a C-section and even told my husband that if I didn't, I would be 'killing the baby.'" 

Adriana was put on full anesthesia, but it did not fully take, and she continued to experience the birth and even heard her baby cry upon exit. 

"What happened next amazed me. I was still unconscious, and they [the staff] approached my husband, telling him that the baby was not breathing and that a ventilator was needed – as if they were trying to make up an excuse to legitimize the surgery. 

"My husband was very angry with me at the time, but later, when I requested the birth procedure documents like any mother is eligible to do, I saw written in black and white that the baby did indeed cry when he was born.

"They also kept my baby away for a long time and vaccinated him without my permission. When he was in my arms, finally, they again rushed to take him away for tests. I ended up signing for an early release."

Adriana is now suing the hospital for alleged emotional distress. 

"I want to bring about a change so that no other woman has to go through this. Women who are giving birth must stand up for their rights," she said. "I felt helpless during the process, and after a lot of pressure, agreed to everything. They didn't let me focus on the birth, and half my energy went to dealing with the staff. It was a very difficult experience."

(phot here)

In March, the Birth Freedom Israel organization published a report on the treatment of women in delivery rooms, alleging humiliating behavior and rights violations. 

The NGO analyzed the calls of 609 women to its helpline, which did not reflect how widespread the phenomena could be, but did point to cases of mistreatment. 

According to figures, 70% of the women said they were verbally abused, and 64% said their right to informed consent was violated. Over half (55%) said the medical staff communicated with them poorly, and almost a third (32%) said they were abused. 

In addition, 29% said they felt they were neglected and the doctors did not give them the necessary attention, and 16% felt their privacy was violated. 

On average, every woman who called the hotline reported 4.4 abuses. 

Moreover, in March 2022, Birth Freedom Israel conducted an online survey, in which 1,700 women who had given birth participated, that showed that over half (58%) felt that someone else made the decisions pertaining to their birth. Some 68% said their privacy was not respected, 32% said they were verbally abused by the staff, 26% said they were abused by the staff, and 13% said procedures were performed without their consent. 

"The solution is to raise awareness among the women and the medical teams of the rights of the mother, and to create a fundamental change in the public and personal discourse regarding childbirth," Director of Birth Freedom Israel Hayuta Goren said, which is why the organization holds training workshops across Israeli hospitals on the subject. 

As some of the trauma sustained during labor is not of physical nature, some new mothers are left with a sense of violation that is unlikely to hold up in court. 

"Oftentimes there's no point in filing a complaint or a lawsuit like that," attorney Dganit Sommerfeld explained. "Contary to medical negligence lawsuits, where you might prove that damage was caused, with mistreatment during labor it is difficult to prove that a tangible injury was caused. 

"When the mother returns to work [after a three-month maternity leave] and leads a more or less normal lifestyle, despite the trauma, she cannot request financial compensation and prove that as a result of the birth she suffered future wage losses. The legal premise in such cases is that the mother gave informed consent, and if and when the doctor performs an operation on her without informing her – there was probably a medical justification for it."

To remedy the situation, MKs Michal Shir (Yesh Atid) and Keti Shitrit (Likud) submitted a bill that would ensure a fair economic mechanism for both those that give birth in hospitals as well as at home and in private institutions. 

"As of now, women who give birth in private centers or at home, do not get a maternity grant, and the financial aspect might affect someone's decision in terms of location," Sommerfeld said.

In response to an inquiry by Israel Hayom on the matter, the Health Ministry said that it "expected all medical teams to treat patients with professionalism and sensitivity.

As such, the Health Ministry's Health's National Council for Women's Health adopted a gynecological examination convention – recommendations that are also relevant to mothers, as published by the Israel Society of Obstetrics and Gynecology last year. The convention established rules of respectful, sensitive, and considerate behavior toward the women being examined and improving the communication with them, it said. 

The convention also stated that the patient must be given a preliminary explanation of her rights and procedures, receive her consent, provide warning and reassurance before painful operations, explain test results, and more. 

In addition, it includes a variety of ways to implement the improvement of communication between patients and medical teams in many settings, including medical faculties and different stages of specialization. This is through training, dedicated studies, control, and more. Every complaint that is received in the office is handled upon receiving, the statement said. 

The Tel Aviv Sourasky Medical Center said, "We make every effort to involve each patient in the decision-making, transparently and sensitively, while providing an explanation throughout all stages of the birth. We will make it clear that in Ariel's case, no Kristeller maneuver was used during the birth, and all operations were performed as usual. However, we regret her personal experience, And we took these things to heart."

The Shamir Medical Center said, "According to the records in our possession, this is a patient who received detailed explanations throughout the birth procedure, which was accompanied by her overwhelming opposition to any medical activity necessary to save the fetus and care for its well-being. Only towards the end of the birth did the patient agree to the intervention … when there was no other choice left. We regret that this is her personal feeling, but from our inspection, the conduct of the staff was flawless and enabled a successful birth. We wish health to the mother and her daughter. We emphasize that the medical center strongly condemns violence of any kind toward the patients and/or the staff."

The Soroka Medical Center said, "We are sorry for the feelings described by the woman, take them seriously and check every request that is received. At every moment and in every situation, the safety of the mother and the safety of the fetus is at the forefront of the team's attention, which will respond to her requests if they do not endanger her safety. The team does everything in its power to provide personalized treatment to each mother, to explain and update at every stage, and provides professional medical care according to her medical condition, to enable a meaningful and positive birth experience."

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The Hadassah Medical Center said, "The case described in the article, which happened a decade ago, is not in line with the spirit of service and care in Hadassah, which sanctifies the dignity of the human being in all forms. Therefore, we are very sorry for the feelings described by the mother. The team of the women's medicine system at Hadassah, like the teams of the other departments, recognizes the right of women to make an independent and personal decision regarding any procedure, including during childbirth, and even encourages it while maintaining a high sensitivity and consideration of the medical staff.

"Furthermore, the midwives in Hadassah have a variety of choices regarding the course of the birth, pain relief, processing the birth experience, and even early and long preparation for those who are dealing with stress or anxiety. As part of that same sensitivity, Hadassah also operates a dedicated clinic for women who are about to give birth, and who have experienced difficulties throughout their lives, such as sexual abuse or difficult emotional distress, where you can receive significant emotional support in preparation for childbirth."

The Sheba Medical Center, said, "We see great importance in providing an empowering and safe birth experience to the mother and the newborn. At Sheba, there are delivery rooms equipped with innovative technologies, to enable a unique and pleasant birth experience through the use of multimedia, mindfulness, and more. We make every effort to allow the mother to give birth in the way she chooses, with as few interventions as possible and depending on the medical condition, when maintaining the safety of the mother and the newborn is before our eyes first and foremost. This was also the case in this case."

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IDF veteran Itzik Saidyan, who set himself on fire outside a Defense Ministry office in 2021 after his repeated requests for additional rehabilitation assistance were reportedly denied, was released Thursday from his rehabilitation center and returned home after two years of care.

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Saidyan self-immolated in protest over his treatment for PTSD outside the Petah Tikva offices of the Rehabilitation Department for disabled soldiers.
The IDF veteran fought in the 2014 Gaza war and was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder following the conflict.

Video: Moshe Ben Simhon

The attempted self-immolation has left him with severe burns all over his body. He was being treated at the Sheba Medical Center in Ramat Gan.

In a press conference after his release, Saidyan warned that after a temporary improvement, the situation for veterans seeking assistance had started to deteriorate again.

"It is important for me to say that the reform has stalled. It is difficult for me that this has happened but I hear from friends that the committees have returned to making it as difficult as it was before," he said. "I ask the government not to forget us. There are thousands like me. I was trapped at home for six years, and every day was a war that cannot be explained in words. Loneliness can kill."

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For the first time, an organization in South Florida is distributing "trauma kits" to Jewish houses of worship that help treat life-threatening injuries before first responders can arrive.

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The safety efforts follow several attacks on US synagogues in recent years.

The kits being distributed this week by the Jewish Federation of Palm Beach County contain bandages, gloves, burn-care gel, mylar rescue blankets, and other equipment.

The kits were being distributed to area synagogues and Chabad houses of worship ahead of the Jewish holidays that start next week with Rosh Hashanah.

"Safety must be a component of every organization's culture," the Jewish Federation of Palm Beach County said on its website.

During the last day of Passover services in April 2019, a man opened fire at the Chabad of Poway in California, killing a 60-year-old woman and wounding three others. In October 2018, 11 people were killed during a mass shooting at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh.

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Researchers at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev have developed the first methodology to assess symptoms associated with continuous exposure to traumatic stress from rocket attacks and other security threats not currently measured by diagnostic criteria.

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Published in the journal PLOS ONE, the study identified three distinct factors: exhaustion/detachment, rage/betrayal and fear/helplessness.

"Exposure to ongoing life risk exists wherever people experience continuous terror, rampant crime and civil war," says lead researcher Dr. Aviva Goral, a graduate of the BGU School of Public Health, Faculty of Health Sciences, and a researcher at the PREPARED Center for Emergency Response Research (PREPARED).

"Current scales assess the more commonly known effects of exposure to traumatic stress, mainly post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This limits patient assessment and may lead to misdiagnoses and ineffective treatment," says Goral.

"The research was conducted to address this gap by developing a validated, comprehensive assessment tool, the Continuous Traumatic Stress Response (CTSR) Scale."

In the study, researchers sampled 313 adults who were and were not exposed to ongoing security threats between December 2016 and February 2017. Respondents lived in southern Israel communities bordering the Gaza Strip, where frequent rocket fire requires them to find shelter in 30 seconds or less. Researchers compared the concurrent validity of CTSR relative to the Post-traumatic Diagnostic Scale (PDS).

The findings indicated that the CTSR measures a construct related to, but distinct from PTSD; responses to ongoing exposure to threat are wider and more intensive than those associated with single traumatic exposure and may include cognitive, behavioral and emotional effects that are not part of traditional PTSD criteria.

Among CTSR criteria, a reduced sense of safety, distrust and mental exhaustion emerged with ongoing exposure to stressors. Other symptoms include social withdrawal, feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, estrangement and feelings of constantly being threatened.

"These findings imply that it is not exposure to ongoing threats per se, but rather the level of perceived threat (i.e., likelihood of injury or harm) that accounts for the difference in the prevalence and severity of CTSR stress symptoms," says Goral.

"Compared with distant communities, border-adjacent communities are much more vulnerable to rockets and tunnel infiltration, creating an atmosphere of tension and fear."

Professor Limor Aharonson-Daniel, head of PREPARED and Goral's Ph.D. supervisor, notes that "further studies are being conducted with larger samples and in broader populations around the Gaza Envelope. Future research will include international implementation in various languages and with other populations exposed to ongoing conflict or persistent civil war (e.g., Syria). This cross-cultural research will help identify the similarities and differences between conflict zones and cultures and facilitate the generalization of the CTSR scale."

"This study, and the diagnostic tool it yields, could benefit Israel and people around the world who suffer from continuous trauma and related symptoms," says Doug Seserman, chief executive officer of Americans for Ben-Gurion University.

"We look forward to seeing new research and development from BGU that continues to build off of this work," Seserman adds.

Reprinted with permission from JNS.org

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Israelis' level of psychological resilience was the lowest measured in the last two years, and significantly lower than what it was at the height of the COVID crisis in Israel, new research from Tel Aviv University and Tel-Hai College indicates.

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The research looked into the level of psychological resilience and social cohesion of the Israeli population and found that respondents' level of resilience had been dropping since the COVID pandemic, and saw a significant drop during Operation Guardian of the Walls last month.

For the purposes of the study, psychological resilience is measured from 1 (lowest) to 5 (strongest). In 2018, the Israeli population's average level of resilience stood at 4.33. When the second COVID wave was at its height in October 2020, the average level of resilience stood at 3.41; and during Operation Guardian of the Walls it dropped to 2.47.

The research included approximately 650 participants.

According to Professor Shaul Kimhi and Dr. Bruria Adini, respectively from the psychology and emergency management departments at Tel-Hai College and two of the team of researchers, the current resilience crisis came on the heels of the COVID pandemic, which included a number of simultaneous threats.

Kimhi and Adini said that the trend of lowered resilience should "concern us all" and be taken into account by decision-makers when they formulate policies to respond to future crises.

Should the drop in psychological resilience continue, they warned, it could "seriously damage Israeli society's ability to recover and return to normal life."

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Researchers at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev developed a new method for rapidly diagnosing brain blood vessel pathology that may lead to neurodegenerative diseases and neurological and psychiatric conditions, the university announced Tuesday. 

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The novel method is based on analyzing EEG, i.e., brain activity patterns using proprietary algorithms. The method was developed by Dr. Dan Milikovsky and Prof. Alon Friedman from Ben-Gurion University's Departments of Physiology and Cell Biology, Cognitive and Brain Sciences. 

The findings show that patients with Alzheimer's disease and other brain conditions display nonconvulsive epileptic seizure-like activity that can be detected by EEG recordings. 

This abnormal activity reflects pathological changes in dysfunction of the brain blood vessels, which contribute, according to recent studies, to the pathogenesis of various neurodegenerative and other neuropsychiatric disorders.

The technology was successfully tested on animals and dozens of patients and is now being validated on large databases of EEG records of thousands of patients.     

"This new approach for diagnosing neurological conditions based on analysis of changes of blood vessels in the brain can be valuable for the early detection of Alzheimer's disease and other neurological conditions at the stage when treatment can still slow down disease progression," said Josh Peleg, CEO of BGN Technologies, the technology transfer company of Ben-Gurion University.

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In the days since then, Abed has not been the same. Like thousands of others in Lebanon, he is grappling with trauma.

"When I got to the hospital, I found him sitting in a corner in the emergency room, trembling at the sight of badly injured people around him, blood dripping all over the floor," said his mother, Hiba Achi, who was at work when the blast hit on Aug. 4 and had left him in the care of his grandmother.

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"He hates red now. He refuses to wear his red shoes," Achi said, adding that Abed insists that she wash them.

The massive explosion of nearly 3,000 tons of ammonium nitrate in Beirut's port killed more than 170 people, injured about 6,000 others and caused widespread damage. The UN children's agency UNICEF said three children were among the dead and at least 31 were hurt seriously enough to need hospital treatment.

As many as 100,000 children were displaced from their homes according to Save the Children, with many of them traumatized.

"Any noise makes him jump now. He is not eating well anymore," Achi says. "He was a happy boy, very sociable. Now, he doesn't talk to anyone."

Joy Abi Habib, a mental health expert with Save The Children, says young people who are traumatized can react differently.

"Headaches, nausea, bed-wetting, digestive problems are physical symptoms parents tend to overlook," she said. "They become clingy and extremely on edge."

Zeinab Ghazale's daughters, Yasmine, 8, and Talia, 11, have refused to sleep alone in their bedroom since the explosion, which broke windows in their apartment and sent glass flying around their room.

"We miraculously survived," said Ghazale, who had to move her daughters out of their home for a few days until the windows were fixed. "But my daughter Yasmin keeps asking, 'Why don't I have a normal childhood? Why do I have to go through all this when I am only 8?'"

Psychologist Maha Ghazale, who is no relation, has been treating many children after the explosion. She said many are experiencing uncertainty "and they keep asking if this will happen again."

"Many children are refusing to go back home, to get close to a glass door or window," Ghazale added.

Ricardo Molaschi was visiting his grandparents' apartment in Beirut with his Italian father and Lebanese mother. When the blast hit, the 6-year-old was cut by flying glass, requiring stitches. His grandfather, Kazem Shamseddine, was killed.

The youngster has been having recurrent bursts of anger toward whoever caused the explosion.

"I want to put them in a volcano and let them explode," he said.

Ghazale said that allowing children to process the trauma is crucial – letting them be angry but also encouraging them to tell the story orally or through art and play.

"My son, Fares, keeps playing a game where there is a fire, and he needs to escape," says Rania Achkar, a mother of two. Her 4-year-old daughter Raya has turned the Lebanese national anthem into a song about the blast.

"The whole world has exploded," she sings, "there is a fire everywhere, everyone is talking about us on television."

The trauma can repeat itself if children are exposed to the news and adult conversations about it, says Ghazali, who advises isolating them from that and seeking help.

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"Children are resilient, but unprocessed trauma can lead to increased anxiety, behavioral problems, it becomes part of their life and can lead later to negative coping mechanisms," she says.

Restoring a sense of safety, normalcy and routine will help, Ghazale says.

Hiba Achi says she has decided to leave Lebanon with her son and join her husband who works in Dubai. It's a sentiment echoed by many.

"This place is not safe for Abed, it never was, never will be," she says, "I don't want to stay here anymore, that's it."

Her guilt is shared by many parents, particularly those who have lived through Lebanon's 1975-90 civil war and feel like they have failed their children.

"Our generation is traumatized forever," says Achkar, the mother of two, referring to those who grew up in Lebanon after the war. "But why do our children have to go through this as well?"

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These numbers horrified the members of the nonprofit Yom Kippur War Center. It made clear what they had already suspected – that the worst war in Israel's history was being forgotten. That the price paid in it was being taken for granted, and that its legacy was non-existent, and that if the story of the war – and their own stories – weren't told now, it would never be told, as the generation who fought it is dying off. The current General Staff of the IDF doesn't include a single general who enlisted in the military prior to 1973, and only 12 currently serving MKs fought in it.

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A group of Yom Kippur War veterans is trying to change the narrative and inculcate a different kind of discourse and a more accurate memory of what happened here 46 years ago. Supposedly, it should be obvious; in actuality, it's a Sisyphean and very Israeli task in which common sense fights bureaucracy. Every citizen should hope that intelligence and justice beat the functionaries to allow the right thing to be done, even if it's very late in coming.

Only two hours before

Rami Swet is a story. A personal story, a family story, the story of a generation. His parents, Zvi and Ruth, made aliyah from Europe before World War II. They lost their entire families in the Holocaust and both enlisted in the British Army – Zvi was a commando, Ruth was a nurse. They met in a hospital after Ruth was called in to translate for a wounded Israeli, and they married after the war. They settled down near Negba and built a ranch.

Later, the parents moved on to the new Afeka neighborhood in north Tel Aviv. After the 1967 Six-Day War they moved to Nuweiba in Sinai, where they owned a gas station. They had five children, three boys and two girls. All the boys served in the IDF Armored Corps and the girls went to the Medical Corps and army human resource management.

The Yom Kippur War found the Swets scattered in various locations. Micky, the eldest son, had finished his time as a company commander and had been sent to university at the army's expense. He was with his wife, who was about to give birth. Yair, the middle son, was a platoon commander in the 77^th Battalion under Avigdor Kahalani [who would later serve as IDF chief of staff] and just about to be discharged. Rami, the youngest son, was a newly-minted officer and was serving as a teacher in the course for tank commanders.

"The eve of the war, all three of us were called up to the front," Rami recalls. "Yair's battalion, which had been in the Sinai, was moved up to the Golan front. Micky ran to the emergency supply unit and left for Sinai. I was called up with an ad hoc battalion from the Armored Corps training school to the Golan Heights, and we got to an area we weren't really familiar with. We got maps just two hours before the war broke out."

Rami's war didn't begin when the siren sounded, but with four Syrian fighter jets that were on their way to the Israeli command in Nafakh on the Golan Heights, and attacked him and his comrades, as well. "I knew that Yair was in the area, too, but I didn't know exactly where. Only later I learned that when I was near Hermonit and north of it, he was 500 meters [550 yards] away from me in the Beqaa Valley."

Rami's battalion was trying to stop Syrian incursions in the area between Hermonit and Tel Varda, but because they were an informal, inexperienced battalion unfamiliar with the territory, it fell apart as quickly as it had been formed after the commander and deputy commander were both killed.

"I was wounded on the fourth day of the war. The first time was at Hermonit from shrapnel, and then when the tank was hit – a wound that caused me to lose my vision temporarily," Rami says.

At the hospital, he met other wounded. Naturally, the conversation centered around their experiences, and one of the wounded next to him said his company commander had been killed. Someone asked what the commander's name was, and the wounded man answered, "Swet." That was the first time Rami learned that his brother Yair had been killed, but he refused to acknowledge it. After he was released from the hospital he was sent back to the Golan Heights. At Nafakh, he met his brother's deputy and realized what had happened.

Q: How was Yair killed?

"He was killed on Oct. 7, the second day of the war, in battles to stop [the Syrians] on the Golan. The team that was in front of him on the slope was hit, and the soldiers jumped out of the tank. Yair left the turret and got down to pick them up, and during the rescue he took a direct mortar hit and was killed. His team was traumatized and abandoned the tank because they thought the tank had been hit, too. They got back to it only three hours later. It was still running, with Yair's body inside it, and they got him out."

Yair Swet was posthumously awarded the Medal of Distinguished Service for his part in the battle. The background for his medal states that "He hit enemy tanks at close ranges of 200-500 meters, and caused the enemy heavy losses. As the battle continued, one of his company's tank was hit, and the crew was seen jumping out. Lt. Yair Swet approached the crew to see what had happened, and when he stopped, he was hit and killed. Lt. Yair Swet served as an outstanding example of courage and coolness under pressure for the entire company, and inspired the soldiers to hold their ground and continue fighting."

Rami saw all this unfold from a few hundred yards away but didn't know that Yair was part of it. He also didn't know that his older brother Micky had been wounded in battles in Sinai.

"We rolled down to Sinai, to the northern edge of the [Suez] Canal," Micky says.

"When we got to the highway, I turned to the west to identify where the Egyptian enemy was and approach them. Our tanks and armored vehicles that had been hit were burned and blackened at the side of the road, and immediately we realized that this war would be very, very different. An APC carrying soldiers on compulsory service came in my direction and I spotted the commander. I asked him, 'Where are our forces, and where's the enemy?' His answer was tough and dry: 'Our forces are done – everything ahead of you is just the enemy.'"

Micky took part in the large-scale offense, which failed, continued southward, and then was sent back to the main front.

"The battle started when we were under cover, and later on we ambushed the target. The battalion commander, with two companies, was fighting on the left flank of an Egyptian infantry force that was entrenched and aided by tanks. I was fighting on the right flank at short range, facing gunfire, grenades, and risking being run over by tank treads. Besides the fierce fighting, the radio informed us that all three platoon commanders had been hit, myself included. When the brigade commander's tank was hit, he handed command of the battalion over to me and got it out of the way."

"Because my tank had been hit too, in the motor, and black smoke was coming out, I told the battalion to move on while I marked the route as a smoke column. When the battalion was rescued, my team managed to put out the tank fire, and all the wounded were evacuated to a makeshift battalion regroup point."

Micky himself, who also received the Medal of Distinguished Service for his conduct in battle, was taken to Shaare Zedek Medical Center in Jerusalem, where he read the human resources report about the identities of the wounded, including the name of his dead brother, Yair, and his wounded brother, Rami.

How to tell the parents?

At Nafakh, Rami was given Yair's personal effects: a book of phone numbers, his bullets, and a few other things. He wanted to go back to the fighting, but was denied for fear his family would sustain two casualties. He also learned that his older brother had been wounded and went to visit him in Jerusalem. "I tell him what happened to Yair, and we decide that we have to tell our parents."

Micky couldn't leave the hospital, so Rami went to his parents' house alone and informed his mother and sister.

"My mom had two requests. One, that even though 10 minutes earlier I'd told her she had lost a son, that I go back to the front, because 'I wouldn't be able to look my friends in the eye,' and second, that before I did that, I find my father and tell him."

Rami went to Sinai, where his father had remained to keep the family gas station running for the war effort. "Dad made a tear in my jumpsuit, gave me a hug, and said, 'Go to the front.'"

Rami did as his parents told him to, went back to his original unit from the tank officers' training course, and continued to fight in Sinai as a tank platoon commander as far south as Suez.

Q: Your parents were tough.

"It was a different generation. Mom refused to come to the medal ceremony to accept Yair's. She wrote that medals weren't for the parents. I always argued that, sadly, only soldiers get medals and not mothers."

Yair was given a battlefield burial during the war. Only two months after the war was over did the family first visit a cemetery, and on the one-year anniversary of his death, Yair was reinterred on the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem, "because our parents had been thinking about going to live in the Jewish Quarter, and wanted to be close to him."

Rami's father died 20 years ago. His mother died eight years ago. In the 2006 Second Lebanon War he was forced to bring her sad news again and report that her grandson, his sister's son, had died. "She said that she hoped my sister would be able to cry, which she hadn't."

Q: Your parents didn't cry?

"They cried in secret. With the door closed. My father was very bitter about Yair being killed. He saw the government and the army as traitors who sent children to be slaughtered like lambs."

Q: Was he right?

"Professor Asa Kasher said at the founding conference of our group that the country has an obligation not only to defend its citizens, but also to defend its soldiers. Today it's clear to everyone that things could have been done differently, and that we were asked to stand on the front in unrealistic conditions that dictated that we would have 2,673 casualties and over 11,000 wounded in the war."

'More is still being kept secret'

Despite the grief and the anger, Micky and Rami continued to serve in the army. Micky served as a battalion commander and later on as a division commander in the reserves, and Rami went on to two battalion commander roles – including the first battalion of Merkava tanks – until he was discharged in 1983. After that, he remained a reservist for another 20 years. "It was clear to us that we need to be part of the [post-war] rehabilitation," he says.

But the war has never left him. Two years ago he decided, along with a group of friends, to establish the Yom Kippur War Center, a nonprofit organization that would work not only to keep the memory of the war alive, but also to teach its legacy.

"It was the most significant event in the history of the country since independence. A war that threatened its existence, in which the entire population took part," he says.

Q: Why now?

"Because our generation has undergone a process of internalization and silence, and like our parents and grandparents didn't want to talk about the Holocaust, it didn't talk, either. We have a moral obligation to pass it on."

The organization plans to build an active center that will focus on four different goals: making information accessible, telling the story of the war, documentation and research, and serving as a center to commemorate heroism in the war. They hope it will be recognized as a national heritage site, like Ammunition Hill. The city of Netanya has already allocated land for the center, which will be built at an estimated cost of $30 million. The organization intends to promote a cabinet bill to expedite the processes to build the center and have it recognized as a heritage site, with the hope that in the future all IDF soldiers and schoolchildren will visit it on organized trips.

The group now boasts some 3,000 members, most of whom fought in the war. Rami Swet is the chairman, and he has set a goal of starting construction this coming year, with a projected opening date of October 2023 – exactly 50 years after the war broke out.

"This war hasn't gotten the respect it deserves. Even today, more about it is secret than is known. We are about to petition the High Court of Justice to force the government to release material about the war," he says.

Q: Like what?

"The Agranat Commission Report dealt with only one point – who was responsible for the [war's] failures. It didn't research the war. Most of the relevant documents are still classified. It's absurd – if I want to know what's happening in Iran, I turn on the news, but if I want to know what happened with the air force on Yom Kippur I get a file that is mostly redacted."

Swet says that the government has 23,000 documents on file that are waiting to be declassified, and that the IDF also has a wealth of information that is still secret.

Aside from the mission of commemoration, the group wants to change the way people talk about the war from the focus on failure to a discussion of heroism and victory.

"It's not that there weren't problems, but that's not the main thing. Take the data from the start and from the end. There's no army that could have turned things around and led to a victory like that. The army rose to the occasion, and the army isn't the top level of the government. The soldiers were the ones who won the war, and that's something we have to instill in people's minds. And that's even discounting that it was the only war that has led to a peace treaty."

Q: Why the urgency to do this?

"I wear three different hats: someone who fought and was wounded in the war; someone who was bereaved; and someone who now sees what is happening in the Israeli public. This event ended and was forgotten as if it was some minor episode in Israel's history."

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