Even 25 years since the death of my beloved son Kobi in the helicopter disaster, Memorial days hit me like a train.

Indeed, for us, the bereaved families, every day is Memorial Day, a never-ending ordeal of coping with longing and thoughts. On many occasions, I've wondered to myself: What is the role of a national day of remembrance? And I reply: On this day, we too are remembered. We – the parents, brothers, sisters, widows, and the orphans – have paid an unfathomable price. We – who fall asleep at night and dream of the young faces that will never return. We – for who every smile is mixed with a deep sadness that will never heal.

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Because we don't really need Memorial Day; but the State of Israel, with its entire tapestry of ethnic groups and more, needs Memorial Day like it needs oxygen. It needs a moral and ethical compass, one that can repeatedly show us the path forward, crystallize the righteousness of this path, and silence the pain for a 24-hour period in which it can be shared with the entire nation.  The understanding that tens of thousands of bereaved families walk among us every day, every hour, is enough for us to exhibit more compassion and attention.

The divisions among us are growing

This year, though, as we continue to slip down the same slippery slope afflicting us all in recent years, I feel a different pain and it frightens me to no end. Unjustified hatred, divisions, the rifts between us – are all getting worse and occupying too large a chunk of the public discourse, our behavior, and the language we use.

Forgive me for the harsh words, but as I look on with concern and heartache, I see Memorial Day starting to slowly lose its sanctity and status, and I feel a sense of duty to say something about it.

And if I have the strength to cry out, on this of all days, in the name of the fallen, let me ask just one thing: Let us honor their memories throughout the entire year. Standing silent for the siren is important and touching, but their real will and testament is for us to be good every single day of our lives, in line at the grocery store, in the traffic jam on the way to work, in the post we write on Facebook, in the way we raise our children.

Public leaders, act responsibly

To you, our public leaders, I say: act responsibly. Understand the magnitude of your task of lowering the flames and bringing the many parts of Israeli society together.

There have always been disagreements and there always will be, but to continue living here together, alongside one another, we must leave bereavement out of the game. Honor the memory of the fallen with free love. This is their legacy, and it is our obligation.

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Every year on Memorial Day for Israel's fallen soldiers and victims of hostilities, we visit the graves of our loved ones, our beloved. Last year, due to the coronavirus pandemic, we could not commemorate their memory in the cemeteries. We could not meet at the monuments and in the ceremonial plazas. The social distancing imposed upon us, sharpened the pain and greatly intensified the longing for the daughters and sons who are no longer.

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Coronavirus has presented the world and also the family of the bereaved in Israel with many challenges. We, the family of the bereaved, were also asked how to safeguard their memory and legacy from a distance? How to do it without seeing the faces of the friends who visit the house and the gravesite every year?!

To this end, we enlisted technology in the service of remembrance and heritage. In recent months, as a result of the conclusions from the previous year, the two representative organizations, the Widows and Orphans Organization and the "Yad LaBanim Organization', set up a new digital platform that allows the citizens of Israel to enter a virtual commemorative area for each fallen victim, and to be part of an online visit to a specific room. If you can't come to the cemetery, you can come together online at the a designated web page.

The site is launching this Memorial Day with our hope that this will be a way to continue to uphold the commandment: to remember and not forget. We invite you to visit the site, Zochrim ("We Remember"), and to meet there too. In their honor and memory.

And to you members of the bereaved families: we do not need a specific day of remembrance or a website to remember. We remember every day, every hour, all year round. At every birthday, at every celebration, at the Shabbat table, during the joyous holidays, and during the daily routine. Every day, we die a little with them. Every day, they live with us. 23,928 daughters and sons - Israel's fallen in its wars. Brave, beautiful, forever young. Our beloved, so dear to us. And they are sorely missed, who know that better than me?

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The State of Israel in its 73rd year is a strong and solid country. But it is also a country where there are many divides and disagreements. The family of the bereaved unites within it Jews, Christians, Muslims, Druze, Bedouin, and Circassians – all in one beam. Everyone fought together and fell together, side by side, shoulder to shoulder.

Precisely during these complex days, we must safeguard the testament that our loved ones left us, a strong country in which everyone is responsible for each other. I promise that their name and legacy will never be forgotten.

"He who makes peace in his high places

He shall make peace upon us

And upon all of Israel"

Blessed be the memory of the sons and daughters.

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A blood bond links the family of bereaved – Jews, Muslims, Christians, Druse, Bedouins and Circassians – uniting us around a sanctified purpose. Yet, although we the bereaved are one body united, the truth is that every single one of us, every man and woman living in Israel, should be an inseparable part of this blood bond, this hurting body.

Israel, today, is a magnificent success story: resurrection from the ashes of the Holocaust, resurrection by virtue of heroism. Are we worthy of this sacrifice? Are we justifying the testament of life bestowed on us by our sons and daughters? Are we preserving their purity of spirit, their comradeship, their immense love for the country? Today's Israel, and I say this with great sadness, is a divided country, quarrelsome, rife with scandals and laden with disputes. Unity and kinship are beyond us – we see this across every stratum of society, from the leadership to the last citizen, and the heart breaks time and again. This is not what our children envisioned.

Let's not wait for war to foster peace among us. Let's not wait for war to be able to live together in tranquility. I call on every citizen of this wonderful country, anyone with love in their hearts for their brethren and country, all those who count themselves as proud Israelis – take action! Let us stop for a moment before we berate, hurt, offend. Let us pause for a second before we fight, intolerant and ornery. Before we cast blame, castigate, splinter. We are one people, we all have one pain, we all have one hope.

Citizens of Israel, on the eve of our 70^th anniversary of independence, let us praise our 70 years of heroism, courage, might and success. Let us stand tall and proudly raise high the blue and white flag. We will remember the thousands of elderly bereaved parents, who for many long years have carried the unbearable weight of bereavement. On a daily basis, these parents pass on, taking their agony with them. They leave us, full of grief and pain from an entire life with a memory and a photograph.

Sons and daughters of bereaved families, you who suffer from this incessant pain of indescribable loss, I can only solemnly recommend the song written by Elai Botner for Yad Labanim: "And between us the sea, and the sky and perhaps the world, and even they will not separate us – my little child. And while we can try smiling, loving and moving forward, in the end, we will meet again as child, father and mother."

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