Even 25 years since the death of my beloved son Kobi in the helicopter disaster, Memorial days hit me like a train.
Indeed, for us, the bereaved families, every day is Memorial Day, a never-ending ordeal of coping with longing and thoughts. On many occasions, I've wondered to myself: What is the role of a national day of remembrance? And I reply: On this day, we too are remembered. We – the parents, brothers, sisters, widows, and the orphans – have paid an unfathomable price. We – who fall asleep at night and dream of the young faces that will never return. We – for who every smile is mixed with a deep sadness that will never heal.
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Because we don't really need Memorial Day; but the State of Israel, with its entire tapestry of ethnic groups and more, needs Memorial Day like it needs oxygen. It needs a moral and ethical compass, one that can repeatedly show us the path forward, crystallize the righteousness of this path, and silence the pain for a 24-hour period in which it can be shared with the entire nation. The understanding that tens of thousands of bereaved families walk among us every day, every hour, is enough for us to exhibit more compassion and attention.
The divisions among us are growing
This year, though, as we continue to slip down the same slippery slope afflicting us all in recent years, I feel a different pain and it frightens me to no end. Unjustified hatred, divisions, the rifts between us – are all getting worse and occupying too large a chunk of the public discourse, our behavior, and the language we use.
Forgive me for the harsh words, but as I look on with concern and heartache, I see Memorial Day starting to slowly lose its sanctity and status, and I feel a sense of duty to say something about it.
And if I have the strength to cry out, on this of all days, in the name of the fallen, let me ask just one thing: Let us honor their memories throughout the entire year. Standing silent for the siren is important and touching, but their real will and testament is for us to be good every single day of our lives, in line at the grocery store, in the traffic jam on the way to work, in the post we write on Facebook, in the way we raise our children.
Public leaders, act responsibly
To you, our public leaders, I say: act responsibly. Understand the magnitude of your task of lowering the flames and bringing the many parts of Israeli society together.
There have always been disagreements and there always will be, but to continue living here together, alongside one another, we must leave bereavement out of the game. Honor the memory of the fallen with free love. This is their legacy, and it is our obligation.
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