At the opening ceremony of Israel's first Drize High-Tech Empowerment Center (DTEC), held Monday in Isfiya, Dr. Miriam Adelson, publisher of Israel Hayom, received the prestigious "Druze Community Honorary Award" for her significant contributions toward Israel's security and the Druze community.

The award was presented during the festive inauguration of the first innovation center for Druze soldiers, named in honor of the community's late spiritual leader, Sheikh Amin Tarif.

Former Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett, who attended the ceremony, addressed the current situation in Syria at the beginning of his remarks, "These days in Syria, our Druze brothers are being slaughtered by the disturbed Islamic extremists of Abu Mohammad al-Julani, who disguises himself as a friendly Westerner. I call on everyone not to stand idly by. This is both the moral course of action and serves the security interests of the State of Israel. To keep these extremist fanatics away from our border, we need to help our brothers by providing assistance and equipment, and taking action from above, below, and wherever necessary."

The first innovation center for Druze soldiers, DTEC, was born through the initiative of Koptan Halabi, who founded the association for promoting the status of Druze soldiers in 2009. Koptan recognized the essential need to empower young people in the community, particularly active-duty soldiers, veterans, and reservists – to help them succeed in all aspects of Israeli society.

The newly established center aims to strengthen collaborations, brand Isfiya and its surroundings as a unique advanced hub for technology and high-tech, and conduct professional training in partnership with the Technion Israel Institute of Technology, the Ministry of Education, the Ministry of Defense, and other authorities. Additional goals include increasing motivation for higher education among Druze youth, providing guidance for meaningful military service, promoting women by encouraging girls from the community to pursue studies in high-tech and exact sciences, and strengthening ties with industry.

"The Jewish people support us"

Sheikh Mowafaq Tarif, the community's supreme spiritual leader, also addressed the troubling situation in Syria, "Due to the ongoing events in Syria and the disturbing images coming from there, where Druze villages around Damascus have been attacked, hundreds murdered, and hundreds of thousands forced to flee their homes, we are reminded of a dark period in history. The international community remains inactive and isn't doing everything possible to provide assistance."

"The Jewish people in Israel and worldwide support and help us, and who better than the Jewish people understands the feeling of helplessness when your people are under attack. The massacre perpetrated against the Druze should serve as a warning – just two hours away from here are terror forces that could pose a serious threat to Israel. After October 7, can the State of Israel afford to allow terrorist organizations to operate on its northern border?"

"I connected with this place"

The opening event was also attended by Dr. Danny Gold, inventor of the Iron Dome; Shlomo Gradman, Chairman of the High-Tech CEOs Forum; Billy Harboiya, CEO of Amazon Israel; and Professor Nava Zisapel, owner of Bynet Communications – all key partners in establishing the new center for fostering entrepreneurship within the Druze community. At the conclusion of his remarks, Bennett invited Dr. Miriam Adelson to the stage to receive the award.

Dr. Miriam Adelson expressed her gratitude for the honor bestowed upon her by Sheikh Tarif and shared with the audience how Koptan's determination led her to contribute to the innovation project.

"I thank Koptan who persisted and didn't give up on me. Gradually, I connected more and more with this place and witnessed something truly wonderful being established here. Thank you for bringing me to such a meaningful place. It's deeply moving to be a partner in this endeavor."

Dr. Adelson expressed appreciation for the recognition granted by Sheikh Tarif for her substantial contribution to Israel's security and to the Druze community. "Your work illuminates our path," the spiritual leader told her.

The post Bridging communities through innovation: Dr. Miriam Adelson honored by Druze leaders appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.

"I suffered painful sodomy, truly felt like I was splitting in two. It's a terrible experience, but there's something about these things, perhaps in their strangeness, that's like... maybe the hardest component is that if you tell people about these things, they'll think you're crazy. I remember many types of severe sexual abuse, but there's something about these ritualistic abuses that makes them the bottom of darkness."

In direct words and with a clear voice, Emunah (pseudonym, like all victims' names in this article) describes the severe abuse she allegedly experienced in her childhood. Organized sexual abuse that included "ceremonies" with supposed religious significance. Horrifying ceremonies in which religious people, some from her own family, sacrificed her as an offering for spiritual transcendence or redemption.

Emunah is not alone. More than ten women between the ages of 20-45 with whom we spoke describe a severe phenomenon raising serious concern that in Israel, like many countries worldwide, organized sexual abuse of children is occurring right under everyone's nose.

"Perhaps the world knows that rape occurs, that incest exists, but this the world doesn't know," Emunah said. "These acts have been kept secret for years, perhaps because of their insanity... it was always very, very strange. As if there was an internal logic, but it was so crazy... very strange things happen there, normalized in a ritualistic and orderly manner. There's a specific time, there's when to say this verse and when to say that verse, there's an order as if things are supposed to be done this way..."

Each woman we interviewed during our investigation has a different life story. They come from different areas of the country, from north to south. Each is at a different place in her life. Some are students, others work and manage careers and family lives, and there are also young women barely surviving, clinging to life by their fingernails.

These women did not know each other previously, grew up in different communities, and come from different sectors and religious streams. Yet the ritual abuse stories they describe are similar in ways that compel us to listen and not turn a blind eye. Some were harmed in early childhood educational settings or in girls' schools, others in their family homes, yeshivas or synagogues. In this article, we present only a very small sample from many hours of interviews and information, and some descriptions in this article are difficult to read. The great fear expressed by everyone who spoke with us is that organized sexual abuse of children continues even today.

"Blessed who releases the bound"

Victim. Sacrifice. Punishment. Correction. Transcendence. Redemption. These are recurring concepts in the testimonies. The prayers, the mutterings, the ecstasy surrounding the victims. The extreme pain, humiliation, and torture. The crushing of personality and soul. Testimony after testimony after testimony from women who experienced organized childhood abuse that included group rape performed within ceremonial and ritual frameworks.

We met these women over the past few months. We spoke with family members of some victims, with treatment professionals, and with experts in Israel and abroad specializing in trauma and dissociation (a range of conditions from emotional detachment to complete disconnection from feelings, sensations, memories, and more). We collected information about organized ritual child abuse – a phenomenon recognized worldwide.

The picture emerging from all gathered information is disturbing and difficult. It requires, at minimum, a deep and meaningful investigation by law enforcement authorities. "It is a religious-national mission to expose this phenomenon and uncover the truth," a treatment professional in the religious community familiar with details of the phenomenon told Israel Hayom.

Most women we interviewed come from religious Zionist or ultra-Orthodox communities, although Shishabbat received additional testimonies about similar cases in secular society. Therefore, it's important to emphasize that these findings don't target any specific sector, but rather direct a beam of light toward suspected crimes of the most severe kind imaginable – crimes committed in a parallel world transparent to sight, though deeply dark and sinister.

Several rabbis' names appeared repeatedly in some testimonies. Multiple complaints filed at different police stations around the country were all closed relatively quickly. Even when suspicions arose previously about a network harming children in Jerusalem, police investigators, at best, lacked sufficient tools or knowledge to properly investigate.

In that case, extensively exposed in 2019 on the TV program The Source, suspicions arose about a pedophile network that harmed dozens of children in the Nahlaot neighborhood. Investigators tended to dismiss it as an "invention," "exaggeration," or "panic" by parents and treatment professionals, and closed the case with almost no relevant indictments.

A man named Benjamin Satz was convicted and sentenced in 2013 to imprisonment for committing indecent acts and sodomy against girls and boys aged 5 to 8. Another suspect was acquitted due to reasonable doubt. In practice, dozens of children remained traumatized and required years of emotional therapy.

"Not outsiders in the community"

"I remember a pentagram on the floor, usually in red. When the ceremony was in the forest, the pentagram was marked with a hoe and surrounded by lit candles in a circle. The rabbi would bless, 'Blessed who releases the bound,' men around prayed with prayer shawls, sometimes dressed in black, while the rabbi wore a white robe. There were several men and boys around the ages of 16-17 who participated in ceremonies for spiritual transcendence.

"There was one time they asked me to dig a hole and lie in it. Other times, they injected me with something and said, 'Now you'll feel better,' after which my body went limp. They would repetitively read Psalms, like 'A Psalm of David, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.' They told me 'you are special, you are chosen' and they would insert... I remember a palm branch, Hanukkah candles, a shofar."

Limor (pseudonym) grew up in a religious-ultra-Orthodox home. Her father, she says, always acted violently toward her and her mother. Throughout the years, she required medical treatment at a hospital and was accompanied by a professional due to injuries caused by the violent abuse she experienced.

According to her testimony, her father was the one who brought her to these "ceremonies." Being delivered by family members is characteristic of many testimonies we gathered. Limor says sometimes the ceremony took place in a forest, other times in a secluded apartment. There were instances when she witnessed and heard other children being abused. Testimony regarding additional child victims repeats across multiple cases. In many testimonies we documented, women also participate in the ceremonies and abuse.

"Organized rape of children is one of the most horrifying phenomena I encounter," Dr. Anat Gur said, a psychotherapist specializing in treating women and trauma, head of the Psychotherapy Program for Sexual Trauma Treatment at Bar-Ilan University and the Tel Aviv Rape Crisis Center. "It's a phenomenon probably much more widespread than we imagine. It exists in many places you wouldn't expect to find it."

Boaz (pseudonym), a senior treatment professional in the religious community, agrees, "The abusers are typically not outsiders in the community. One patient told me, 'Understand, he's the one who blows the shofar on Rosh Hashanah.' The shofar symbolizes a channel – the person considered most spiritually worthy blows the shofar because he's closest to God. And he's the one telling her she is evil, that he's helping with her atonement in this lifetime. Do you understand the distortion?"

"Crime without witnesses"

Beyond the women who dared to meet and speak with Israel Hayom, professionals possess information about additional victims who report sadistic ritual abuse during childhood. The content emerging from these accounts shows remarkable similarities. From all gathered information, it appears that in most cases, the sexual abuse began in very early childhood at home, perpetrated by a father, grandfather, or other family member. In other cases, the abuse occurred in educational or therapeutic settings.

"What I've observed over the years," Dr. Gur said, "is that whoever endures these things suffers catastrophic damage. That's also one of the challenges with exposure – the victims are so shattered that they're difficult to believe. The more cruel and sadistic the abusers are and the younger the victims, and the more horrifying the abuse, the smaller the chance that perpetrators will face justice, because there's no one left to testify. The abusers so thoroughly destroy the victims' souls that it becomes a crime without witnesses, which of course serves a society that continues to abuse or maintain these rituals."

Dr. Joanna Silberg, an international expert in treating dissociative disorders among children and adolescents and former president of the International Society for Trauma and Dissociation, guided the treatment of 70 children who allegedly fell victim to organized abuse in Israel over five years. In Chapter 14 of her book "The Child Survivor," she describes the severe symptoms the children suffered "due to multiple forms of abuse – physical, sexual, emotional, and spiritual."

Dr. Silberg notes several sources for the numerous testimonies about cases of organized abuse in Jerusalem. In one case reported in professional literature, a child abused in Israel and treated in the US described how several men tortured him and recalled an incident where they submerged his head underwater.

Descriptions of sadistic abuse appear consistently across all testimonies we collected, as in Emunah's story: "There was a ceremony like a circumcision that I underwent. I was 10 or 11. It took place in the settlement's synagogue. They tied me up, similar to the binding of Isaac, and wounded my genitals.

"My father is there, my mother is there, a rabbi from the settlement. I'm tied to a table, looking at the window and imagining how I could jump through it, how I might tie a rope and rappel down to the stones. I constantly wanted it not to be happening. That's what characterizes it... I continuously thought about how it wasn't happening, how I could escape. I kept telling myself I wasn't there. It's extremely difficult to understand that I was actually there. That it's me – the bound child."

"The youngest and most vulnerable"

Organized sexual abuse occurs, as noted, throughout the world. Researcher Michael Salter defines it as "a conspiracy of several attackers to abuse several victims."

Rabbi Dr. Udi Furman quotes in his article "Ritual Abuse in Israel" Salter's definition of ritual abuse as an ideological framing in organized contexts of child sexual abuse, "functioning as strategic practices through which abusive groups instill in victims a misogynistic worldview, violently, to control them."

"In other words," Rabbi Furman writes in his article, "ritual abuse occurs when a religious, political, or spiritual authority uses their position of power to manipulate victims' belief systems and thereby control them." According to him, "ritual abuse is primarily a strategy employed by groups involved in producing images of child abuse, child prostitution, and other forms of organized abuse, and does not constitute a separate category of violence."

Rabbi Furman also presents research by Johanna Schröder and additional researchers from Germany, who examined attitudes among 165 adults who testified that they were victims of organized ritual sexual abuse, as well as attitudes of 174 professionals who supported victims of this type of abuse. In 88% of reports from both groups – therapists and victims – identical ideological expression emerged. The ideological content and objectives were also presented in a similar order: "justification of violence," "justification of sexual exploitation," and "maintaining power and control," followed by "maintaining group commitment and ensuring redemption."

"The researchers conclude that ideologies are primarily means to justify organized sexual violence," Rabbi Froman said. However, in his article, Froman argues that some reports in Israel suggest ideology wasn't merely a means to justify organized sexual violence, but formed the foundation of the abuse.

Rabbi Furman references, for example, the Nahlaot case, which "is just one of many similar cases, most occurring in ultra-Orthodox neighborhoods. For instance, a private ultra-Orthodox court writes that ritual sexual abuse is cruel and frequent, accompanied by traumatic, accusatory, and confusing ceremonies. The abuse is carried out by large criminal organizations and/or cults and/or secret organizations, with financial investment and recruitment of assisting personnel. The abuse carries for its perpetrators substantial profits such as satisfaction of deviant urges, commerce and pornography, threats and extortion, and more."

According to Furman, the court document describes the practice of organized abuse: "From preparing the scene, through recruiting collaborators from educational institutions and transportation drivers, to the ceremonies themselves... The ceremony takes place under the leadership of an important rabbi. After a Torah lesson, approximately every two weeks, parents gather with children for what is called 'soul correction.' All couples recite Psalms together, sing verses repeatedly with melody, all while standing without clothes. They stand in a circle, naked, praying, lighting candles. The children are positioned in the middle of the circle, also naked."

In the document, intended for parents, educators, and rabbis, the ultra-Orthodox court "Shaarei Mishpat" in Jerusalem details numerous methods and actions taken by abusers, aiming to warn and raise awareness of this spreading phenomenon and to protect children. Among other things, the document states that to shield themselves from exposure, abusers deliberately act in extreme ways contrary to logic, "so that even if children tell, they will sound completely delusional."

In a "partial" list, actions are described, including abusers using disguises and masks, alongside sadistic torture such as forcing children's hands into boiling water, submerging them underwater for several seconds, or threatening them with aggressive animals to frighten them and intensify the trauma effect. Additional mentioned actions include inserting objects and work or kitchen tools into the children.

To humiliate children and instill feelings of guilt and shame, perpetrators show them pictures of themselves naked or give them food while telling them they ate "carrion," organize mock "wedding" ceremonies between children, force them to eat feces, and stage their burials.

"They collapse all self-trust and ability to resist," Rabbi Froman said. "The regular and frequent abuse is so destructive that the children despair of 'normality' and the abuse becomes their life routine. Psychiatrists have diagnosed a complete 'personality fracture' in the normal part, allowing the child to continue functioning normally in school."

According to Dr. Silberg, in each group, individual participants may have their own motives, such as sexual deviations, bizarre ideological affiliations that include conducting ceremonies, or economic enrichment, for example, through human trafficking for sexual exploitation, or producing images of child sexual abuse. These motives are not necessarily shared by all members.

Dr. Silberg further notes that networks engaged in producing and distributing child pornography, including organized abuse, have been exposed worldwide, and "despite the recurring, almost ideological skepticism, there have been several successful convictions of members of organized abuse networks worldwide."

Over the years, there have been multiple examples of cases where authorities successfully exposed and convicted members of such networks. According to Dr. Silberg, as well as other researchers, since the development of the internet, and especially the emergence of peer-to-peer networks and the dark web, the phenomenon of sexual assaults on children has intensified significantly.

"These are the youngest and most vulnerable victims in society," it is claimed. "Live streaming platforms from home allow children to be exploited in front of a camera and videos of the acts to be broadcast worldwide, without leaving traces."

On the other side of the screen, cyber investigation specialists recognize the high demand among consumers for the most horrific videos, including sadistic abuse of children. In conversation with Israel Hayom, Dr. Silberg emphasizes the extreme difficulty in tracking members of such organizations, as most activity occurs on the dark web.

"I had hoped that in Israel there would be an understanding that this is an international phenomenon and that there would be cooperation between Israeli authorities and other countries," she said, but in practice, "when a complaint arrives and a case is opened in Israel – the police did not conduct the investigation properly. The investigators treated each case as if it were isolated. If you separate each case and don't look at the overall picture, you don't ask where all the dots lead. And perhaps they did their best, and the attackers were simply more sophisticated."

Dissociation

"I don't want to go to school, I don't want to!" Ayala (pseudonym) says, crying. "I never want to again. Ever. I don't want to! No! No! At school, the teachers are scary. I don't want them to take me from school. I don't want to go to that class anymore."

Ayala's words blend with tears. In these very moments, she is pulled backward with the memory attack. Although chronologically she is 25 years old, right now she is 9, and nothing can convince her that the danger has passed. Even when her partner reminds her, "You know you're grown up now?", trying to bring her back to the present, she remains terrified. Trembling deep in the past.

Like many victims we met, Ayala also struggles with dissociation challenges. This is a survival disconnection mechanism that protects the child's psyche during abuse, which will be explained later. Ayala grew up in a religious settlement in a family with many children. "In many community settlements, children wander around alone," she said. After years of sharp deterioration in her mental state, including severe anxiety attacks, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, severe suicide attempts, and ongoing suffering – she developed the clear internal knowledge that she had been raped.

The memories began surfacing in severe flashbacks in which, to this day, she re-experiences the abuse incidents she endured. This too is a known phenomenon that repeats itself in some cases we encountered.

Professor Daniel Brom, a clinical psychologist and the manager and founder of "Metiv," the Israel Center for Psychotrauma in Jerusalem, listened to a recording in which Ayala is heard during a memory attack, describing how they take her from school to a frightening place, where they beat her, tie her up, and lead her to a place where things happen that cause her pain.

"She talks about rabbis who abuse her and control her with statements about having a direct connection with God," Professor Brom wrote. "The form of conversation is familiar to me as a conversation with a woman with dissociative identity disorder. I have seen such phenomena in the clinic quite frequently. Since 1990, I have repeatedly met children and adults who tell of organized abuse by men who not only sexually abuse, but also film their acts."

"Silence, conceal, erase, move"

"Some abuse occurred in a building and some in the forest," Ayala continues, "some in a cemetery and some in a synagogue, in all kinds of unusual places. In the building, you go downstairs and reach a very messy room with many tools, paint cans, and many boards. In the middle of the room is a bed, more like a wooden table. It seems there are more rooms there, because there are incidents where I clearly remember being in one room and hearing a child being abused in another room, and then I know what they'll do to me.

"I hear children screaming, crying. It's always a dark place. There are between six and nine men there. They tie me to the bed by my hands and feet, stand in a circle, mutter prayers or blessings, and there's the rabbi who always leads the situation and tells everyone what to do, and everyone listens to him. There's a ceremony, and each one of them rapes me.

"Sometimes the great rabbi arrives, and then he leads the ceremony. He speaks with God, and God tells him what to do. He puts one hand on my heart, one hand on my genitals, and it hurts when he talks to God. There are times when I scream, and there are situations where I stop because I know they'll hit me in the head. There were cases where I didn't cooperate or cried and knew I deserved punishment. There were various punishments, bizarre things: they put my head in a bucket of water for a long time, beat me with a cable, there's also a ritual bath and purification, where they clean me thoroughly, and then immerse in a water source and explain to me that I need to be pure.

"There was one time they took out a Torah scroll and opened to the binding of Isaac. One of them read, and they simply did what they were reading to me. They tied me up, put the knife to my neck, and God said to lower the knife. Then there was rape.

"There was an event in the cemetery, and I saw a place with stones that had many words written on them, and then they told me to enter a hole, and they covered me with sand. It's not clear to me how I remained alive."

Noya was sexually abused by educational figures who cared for her in early childhood. These people, she says, invited additional men to the setting who participated in ritual abuse. The abusers acted with severe violence and used extreme and strong sensory stimuli, which helped her consciousness to split.

"I always had symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder," she says. "I was hospitalized, had nightmares, and eating disorders. I also had flashbacks of small fragments of moments from the abuse, but I didn't understand their meaning. In adolescence, dissociative attacks began that looked like epileptic seizures. When I would return home beaten and bruised from abuse, for example, with a head injury or blood from my lips, I said I had a seizure on the stairs.

No one asked too many questions, and at an older age, when the abuse ended, Noya consciously decided to forget. "I told myself nothing happened to me. I had a mantra that I repeated continuously: 'silence, conceal, erase, move, disguise, turn off, conceal, throw away, disconnect, forget.' And I really did forget, for several years."

During those years, Noya fulfilled dreams and established her life–until the difficult memories began to bombard her consciousness. Over the years, and later also in therapy, "figures" that were created during the abuse began to surface, figures that held the difficult memories in her place.

"When there is such massive and extreme abuse, the symptoms are most severe, especially dissociation," says Silvia, a therapist from central Israel who treats victims of complex post-traumatic stress disorder due to prolonged childhood abuse. "This is a defense mechanism of the psyche that is expressed in disconnection at different levels. It can be disconnection from body sensations, from emotion, from thoughts, and from memories. Dissociation allows the victim to get up the next morning and conduct life as usual – go to school, play with friends, learn, and build her personality despite the massive threat she is under. The mechanism is activated during the abuse as a response to an existential threat or unbearable pain, or as a result of the use of consciousness-altering substances by the abusers."

Dr. Sagit Blumrosen-Sela, a clinical psychologist specializing in trauma therapy for sexual abuse, dissociative identity disorder, and autism, recognizes in her clinical cases dissociative disconnections and patients coping with dissociative identity disorder (DID). "Today we're discovering that dissociative identity disorder is more common than previously thought. Many of those affected are not diagnosed – either they hide it, or they don't acknowledge it to themselves. Many of them are hospitalized and receive incorrect diagnoses. Many psychiatrists are not familiar enough with the phenomenon, and it's important they understand that these can be patients who lead normative lives, work, study, raise children. There are real gaps between normative functioning and the abysses that aren't expressed in the outside world."

According to her, "This is a mechanism created as a defensive response to intense physical or emotional pain, when there is no possibility or it's dangerous to fight or flee, and parts of the experience are extracted from the accessible stream of consciousness. When the abuse is repetitive, a system of identities may be formed that carries the traumas, while disconnecting the memories and feelings associated with them from normal consciousness."

Based on testimonies from around the world over the years, there are situations where abusers are aware of the possibility of producing such a disorder in young children. "One patient underwent repeated sadistic attacks, with the abusers intending to cause a split in consciousness, so she wouldn't remember and wouldn't tell. When she was an adult, she even met one of the attackers in a mall and didn't recognize him," Dr. Blumrosen-Sela said.

As if evil itself has intuition

"There's an atmosphere of excitement, as if we're performing the most sacred and elevated act in the world," Nurit says. "I was very young. In the images, people and verses appeared... I have scars on my genitals. They injured and damaged them. It involved tremendous cruelty, abuse, humiliation, control, and ownership, all disguised as religion and elevated spiritual work. It's appropriating God to serve urges. This remains central to my traumas. While such specific events may happen once, the abuse itself becomes a way of life... creating enormous internal destruction. So yes, the damage and implications are terrible."

Through his extensive experience, Boaz has encountered dozens of cult survivors harmed in ceremonies, but also many patients harmed through home-based ceremonies, "typically by fathers or uncles who, chronically over the years, employed ceremonies they invented, incorporating religious texts and content."

According to him, "This represents consciousness control. The child is forced into a tailored role. If told, for example, they came to repair the world and must therefore suffer, or that suffering must intensify beyond what they've already learned to survive, because they are the chosen victim. The child is told that if not they, another family child would be chosen for sacrifice.

"Ceremonies include invented prayers, mutterings, and songs with religious texts. I believe that through these mantras and mutterings, not only does the victim dissociate, but the abuser creates dissociation for himself. Immediately afterward, he can attend synagogue and blow the shofar. There are cases of institutionalized organizations worldwide where techniques for creating dissociation in children follow consistent patterns.

"I think the abusers I encountered through my patients were diabolically sophisticated, but in my opinion, they didn't learn these methods from some manual—they developed them through intuition. It's as if evil itself has intuition. In one case, a patient underwent massive abuse that caused physical injury, extreme humiliation, and contempt. Even today, decades later, she believes she's a creature from another world. Though intellectually she understands this isn't true, emotionally she feels destined for this role.

"Consider how easy it is to tell a child they were born from the power of impurity and therefore must suffer. These mantras penetrate deeply, especially when a child is abused and brought to the brink of death—certainly psychological death, but in several cases I encountered, part of the abuse involved nearly killing the victim before allowing them to survive. In such states, consciousness transforms, and implanted beliefs become part of one's very essence, because what creates a stronger bond than nearly dying—and then surviving?"

"Organized, planned ceremony"

As we prepare to part, Eden's mother shows me a photograph of her daughter with a broad smile and laughing eyes. "Look what a child I lost," she says painfully. "Write for her sake."

"When Eden was 25, she began remembering childhood rape," Corinne, her mother, said. "It was highly unusual. She described it as a group rape conducted like a theatrical performance where everyone played an assigned role. When flashbacks occurred, memories surfaced, and she revealed shocking details. Men from the settlement acting together, conducting group rape with extreme violence, drugs, and nudity. Somehow, afterward, she returned home clean and intact—it's unclear how. She filed a police complaint that was subsequently closed. She completely broke down from the experience."

According to her mother, Eden began suffering severe anxiety attacks and reached states classified as psychotic, though she was primarily expressing extreme terror while convinced the main perpetrator would murder her. "She genuinely felt she was being stalked. There's an entire community here concealing things, and apparently, many people have something to hide, while others either close their eyes or are too weak to act. Eden spoke about six men participating in the rape—such things require secrecy. Fighting an entire community is incredibly difficult. And some people simply cannot bring themselves to believe it."

Many women we interviewed described ceremonies involving supposed reenactments of biblical stories. The "binding of Isaac" reenactment, for example, appears in five separate testimonies.

Nurit describes: "They tied me up, creating an imitation of the 'binding of Isaac,' though it wasn't exactly the same because I'm female. They took a specific symbol, used it as they wanted, and connected it to a form of circumcision... Nothing in Jewish law requires performing the binding of Isaac this way. Nevertheless, I sensed they were reading texts, reciting passages, conducting a deliberately organized, planned ceremony with a specific process. It serves to legitimize evil."

Arnon, a senior clinical psychologist who guides trauma therapists, encountered ritual abuse indicators four decades ago and several clear cases in recent years, leading him to "fear this represents some kind of network."

According to him, "These individuals distort Kabbalistic sources through misinterpretation. I believe they're psychopaths using Kabbalah to objectify and exploit victims. When 'Kabbalistic' forces combine with sexual exploitation desires, that creates an explosive situation. Anyone truly God-fearing should carefully avoid this movement, as they would be fired.

"I'm certain similar practices exist in secular contexts. Spiritual frameworks can be misappropriated to justify deviations from norms while demanding blind faith. They deliberately choose synagogues, confronting our most sacred spaces. They perform these acts wearing holy garments, pronouncing divine names, exploiting the concept that certain individuals are permitted—even commanded—to behave contrary to normal expectations.

"But the notion that prohibitions don't apply to specific individuals is completely foreign to authentic religious tradition. What makes this dangerous is that eventually they believe their own justifications when performing these horrific rituals you've heard described. These are the most shocking accounts I've encountered in my entire life, and I fear they genuinely believe they're drawing closer to God through these means."

To rob faith

"For survival, children often bond with their attackers out of necessity," Boaz said. "It resembles Stockholm syndrome. They believe their abuser's claim that they serve some cosmic purpose. Part of the catastrophic healing process comes when, after 30 years, a person suddenly realizes, 'What? I never had a special role? It was simply evil?' This creates an enormous, potentially suicidal break because it collapses their entire worldview. Their inner faith is completely stolen.

"At school, they pray and discuss divine providence—how everything has a purpose and God manages the world—but He wasn't there for them. This represents profound mind control, requiring many years of therapy to address this pain. Therefore, any testimony you hear represents merely a fraction of what actually occurred. The spiritual injury is utterly unbearable. Just as sexual abuse damages trust in people, spiritual injury robs a child of faith. In my professional assessment, faith serves a fundamental function in the human soul—and whoever has had that faith stolen will carry that wound forever."

Noga, who reports she was in a "cult" that conducted organized ritual child abuse until she reached late childhood, explains that "there exists some agreement with the gods. The entire theory revolves around 'correction.' The phrase 'the great correction' recurs constantly. To achieve the great correction, one must suffer, primarily because suffering purifies and advances redemption...

"The gods I remember are Baal Peor and Ashtoreth. I vaguely recall statues. I remember them saying 'our lord Peor and our lady Ashtoreth.' What makes this truly disturbing is that these are observant Jews who meticulously follow Jewish commandments, minor and major alike, not as a performance. They genuinely adhere to Torah commandments according to Orthodox tradition. They express contempt for Reform Jews while simultaneously, in a parallel existence, practicing literal idol worship.

"I had a connection to something I can't quite explain. I possessed both strong faith and an innocent connection to God, which they exploited. For a child who is spiritually open and connected, it's easy to implant messages and create twisted distortions."

Q: What messages?

"Messages stemming from deliberate confusion between fundamental values, between heaven and earth, darkness and light, evil and good. They claim to reach the root of existence through the most defiled, lowest places, supposedly elevating them to holiness, and through this concept they create numerous distortions. They essentially blur boundaries between good and evil, between sexuality and love, and family. Whatever can be mixed and intermingled, they do it. Their ceremonies included cross-gender dressing, like transvestites, extremely promiscuous sexuality involving men with children, men with women, and even within family units."

"Both religious and national obligation"

Throughout our investigation, we encountered difficult, horrifying, and incomprehensible descriptions. How is it possible that such horrific crimes against children continue for years right under everyone's noses, particularly law enforcement agencies?

"Even we as treatment professionals have an existential need for denial," Dr. Gur said. "When you hear that a woman who collaborated with abusers washed the abused child to remove evidence of the abuse, your entire soul screams—this cannot be real.

"Just as the child dissociates, knowing that remembering what happened would make continued existence impossible, we as witnesses must make a choice, consciously or unconsciously, whether we're willing to believe such horrifying things occur. It undermines our very personal existence, creating a command of silence that operates not just externally, but at a deeply internal level."

"In religious terms, these represent the most serious offenses possible. Exposing this phenomenon is crucial, particularly apprehending perpetrators and bringing them to justice. Beyond the physical and sexual harm, this involves profound spiritual abuse," explained a religious figure familiar with victim accounts who is deeply troubled by the information he's encountered in recent years.

"It's essential to understand—these constitute the most serious offenses possible within Judaism," he continued. "From a religious perspective, this is desecration of God's name. Many ritual victims are delivered to these ceremonies by family members who also sexually abuse them, committing the sin of incest. If perpetrators have religious motivation, they're engaging in idolatry. Therefore, exposing this phenomenon and uncovering the truth represents both a religious and national obligation, and anyone valuing religion should demand a thorough investigation."

Alongside the defensive doubting mechanism that naturally arises when confronting the terror of death embedded in victims' bones, understanding the crushing rocks of silencing, and the satanic chains of threats that bound victims, denying without investigation becomes a privilege we cannot allow ourselves.

The alleged crimes described in testimonies collected by Israel Hayom never reached courtroom discussion or a thorough investigation. Though these serious offenses may lack specific legal formulation, existing legal frameworks—including human trafficking and rape statutes—obligate law enforcement authorities to investigate complaints about monstrous evil that defies description.

Responses

Israel Police stated: "Every complaint received undergoes thorough and professional examination, with investigators working as necessary to identify possible connections between similar cases, according to findings arising during investigation. The subject mentioned in your inquiry is familiar to police and under examination; naturally, at this stage we cannot elaborate further."

Dr. Naama Goldberg, CEO of "Not Standing By – Assisting Women in the Prostitution Circle," stated: "Unfortunately, I've been hearing similar testimonies for many years describing identical patterns of abuse. Sometimes they're so shocking that doubts arise regarding credibility. However, since these reports consistently repeat across victims who don't necessarily know each other and come from different regions of the country, they appear well-founded.

"Moreover, from my professional experience working with crime victims, those who've approached me over the years display behavioral patterns consistent with profiles of people sadistically abused in childhood.

"The dissociative elements, time gaps before disclosure became possible, and other factors confirm complainants' exposure to such harm at early ages. This represents a terrible story that must be heard loudly and clearly, and thoroughly examined by authorities."

Orit Sulitzeanu, CEO of the Association of Rape Crisis Centers in Israel, stated: "In recent years, our Association has received inquiries regarding ritual sexual abuse. These violations typically occur in closed communities under the pretext of religious ceremony. Undoubtedly, the conspiracy of silence within religious society often prevents exposure of severe exploitation and abuse cases, making it tremendously important to bring these violations to light, giving words to what's happening and allowing victims to release their secrets."

The post 'Bottom of darkness': Children raped in ritual ceremonies expose the horrors appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.

518 days have passed since little Roni was cruelly torn from her father Omri Miran's arms after hours of being held hostage, with a gun pointed at her head, watching her big, strong father begging for his life in front of murderers. 518 days have passed since Alma, her infant sister, just six months old, burrowed into her mother Lishi's arms, guns pointed at their backs.

"Roni tried to run after him, and I had to physically hold her back so she wouldn't follow the monsters and her father," Lishi Miran Lavi, who survived the massacre in Kibbutz Nahal Oz, recounted this week on the UN stage. Since October 7, she has been raising their daughters alone. Alma's first steps, Roni's difficult questions, the hopes, the dreams, the birthdays, and the sweet Purim costumes as the holiday approaches again – Lishi experiences all these with her daughters alone. Without their father, the great love of her life.

With Omri and the girls. "It breaks your heart every moment you miss with them," from the family album

A few days after the horrific kidnapping, Lishi decided to share WhatsApp messages with Omri, despite his absence, so he would continue to be part of the young family, so he wouldn't miss a moment in the development and growth of his daughters. Message after message, they turned into a journal of love and longing. A journal of fighting for life and sanity. A journal of a family that went through the most horrific atrocity, and still anxiously awaits the return of father Omri from Gaza.

A journal that is a personal, painful and gut-wrenching document, in which, among other things, the elevation of spirit stands out despite all the blows and disappointments. A journal of messages that went unanswered, messages without a blue checkmark, from a woman doing everything in her power to unite and heal her family. To bring the father back to his children.

October 29, 2023, 10:43 p.m.

My dear Omrili,

So I decided to start writing to you so I don't forget all the important things. I hope I'll manage to be consistent and everything will be written down when you return...

Just so you know, Alma has been sitting up properly for two days now. And Roni is already saying mama. And generally, Roni speaks like a big girl. My love, Roni can already count to 10 straight through. And today we also visited Mojo. He was really excited, but didn't want to come out with us for a walk. Roni started therapy dog sessions two weeks ago, and today after seeing Mojo she asked to see Anzo. She really misses you and today she said goodnight to you three times. I'm sure you felt it... She also told you that we love you, miss you and are waiting for you.

I've also started giving her a bit of massage again. Both her and Alma, with a special cold remedy oil they made for us. So it's – first back. Now chest (with a guttural 'ch'). And then legs like daddy does. She only falls asleep when she's sleeping on my arm and generally needs lots of touch and hugs. I really miss you already and am imagining the phone call I'll receive to come meet you.

Tomorrow is a really busy day: an interview and then filming a testimony, and then a meeting with intelligence people and then another interview. How does it always happen to me on Mondays. Waiting for the moment I'll see you. Hug you, kiss you. And hoping you won't be angry with me that I can't take care of Mojo now. But you should know that he's close by and with someone amazing and it's better for him right now, I'm sure you'll understand. Good night, my love.

October 30, 2023, 10:28 p.m.

My love,

Today was a really busy day. I barely had time with Roni, and Alma didn't see me at all... What a strange situation this is. I keep telling Roni that I'm going to work and this whole thing really is work... but she also doesn't quite understand why only her mother goes to work. My love, there are so many people you'll need to meet when you come back, amazing people who are helping me, us. Strangers who have become as close as can be.

Alma is 7 months old today. Can you believe it? How she's already grown. Tomorrow I really must make time just with her that isn't at night.

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My love, I love you, miss you and am waiting for you. Waiting so much for that phone call that will tell me you're on your way home. I know it will come! And every day that passes I tell myself that soon, a little bit more, it's coming.

November 4, 2023, 8:55 p.m.

My love,

I haven't written for a few days, there were days full of activity, all kinds of emotions, and difficulties. On Wednesday, Roni had a therapy dog session, which was very difficult... She drew in black and after 20 minutes wanted to end the session. Afterward, she hid under the slides and said it's scary outside... Since then she's been a bit angry that you're not with us. She's not angry at you, but at the world. She asks for you more and more and now wants to say a real goodnight to you.

With Omri in happier days. "It breaks your heart every moment you miss with them"

On Thursday, Berry Sakharof came to us in Kramim. I talked to him and requested two songs, "Come Home" and "At the End of a Day"... I completely broke down when he sang them.

Roni had a difficult day on Thursday and so did I... We're completely in sync lately, and I'm really trying to be strong for her and be with her a lot... Alma is starting to get jealous, and I need to learn to synchronize between them. Yesterday, Friday, was a busy day: in the morning, new beds arrived for Roni and Alma, and also a kitchen for Roni. She was so excited and almost cried when she saw a bed that was just hers. I sleep on a mattress next to them. It's a bit hard for me that I don't feel them close to me at night anymore, but it's better for them and definitely safer...

In the afternoon I went to Tel Aviv with Kamila for a Shabbat reception organized by Kibbutz Nahal Oz. First time I left Kramim since we arrived here. It wasn't easy, but it was important that I did it...

November 7, 2023, 5:53 p.m.

My Omrili,

A month.

A whole month has passed and it feels like a year has gone by.

And it feels like everything has frozen.

October 7 at 1:30 PM was the last time I saw you and since then everything has been hazy... Time passes, Roni is really growing up. Her vocabulary is insane and every day she surprises me anew with her strength. Alma is already 7 months old, sitting, eating and doesn't understand where daddy disappeared to and why mommy isn't always with her.

Today I went to Nahal Oz... They cleaned and organized the house before we arrived. I was there and nothing made sense. Explosions echoing on one side and pastoral scenes on the other. Surreal like our lives always were, like our lives are now.

Omrili, the grass is still green and the Mitsubishi is still parked in place and I fell for a moment and then, as you know me, I got up and went into machine mode.

Omrili, as I told you a month ago, so still:

I love you

I'm protecting our girls

We're waiting for you

And don't be a hero

Omrili, I will turn the whole world upside down until you come back. I promise you.

December 8, 2023, 2:16 p.m.

My Omrili,

Two months have passed. Two whole months.

Alma is already eight months old. She started standing this week, and ate her first sufganiyah.

Roni continues to be amazing and asks every day if you'll come today, and every evening understands that daddy isn't coming today either and we need to go outside to say goodnight even when it's raining, even when it's cold.

And me, I'm still not myself. I'm already a different Lishi. Running between meetings and interviews. And really trying to be with the girls too.

My Omrili,

Yesterday we lit the first Hanukkah candle.

Lishi Miran. "When will our day come?", Efrat Eshel

Remember when we moved to the last apartment, we were happy it was big enough and this year we could host friends and family for candle lighting? And yesterday we lit the first candle without you and when I asked Roni what she wanted to wish for, "What miracle should we ask for today?" she said "For daddy Omri to come back," and she looked at Alma and held her hands and said "Daddy Omri, we love you."

My Omrili, like two months ago, today too I will turn the whole world upside down until you return.

February 24, 2024, 2:47 p.m.

My love,

Sorry I haven't written in a while. It's not because I don't want to, it's just so hard. I thought you'd be here with us by now. Sorry I couldn't make it happen.

I hope you'll be here by Alma's birthday. I don't know how I'll get through her birthday and yours without you. And it's starting to become too real...

My love,

They're growing so much and becoming true beauties and so smart, and it breaks your heart every moment you miss with them.

This week I was doing advocacy in Brussels and Roni held up so well during all those four days and when I got back she simply fell apart. On Friday at her dog therapy she told Inbar that she cried and was angry, and when Inbar asked her why, she told her because I came back alone. Because I didn't come back with daddy.

Oh Omrili, I don't know anymore if I'm doing things right or wrong. If I'm raising them in a healthy way or not. And I keep asking myself in my head, if it was reversed, how would you behave? What would you do? And usually I answer that probably the same way.

My love, I love you so much and am just waiting for the moment you return and we'll be a family again.

February 25, 2024, 11:47 p.m.

My love,

Another day has passed and you're still not here...

I got back not long ago to the blue house (that's what Roni calls it). Roni is sleeping in my bed and Alma in hers. She'll probably wake up soon and I'll move her to me.

I so hope there will be a deal soon and so hope that in some strange ways we'll manage to get you on the list. How terrible it is to talk in these terms... I know the chance is slim but I'll do everything to make it happen, I promise you.

This week I decided that I'll only be out two days, today and Wednesday, and the rest of the days I'll be with the girls. I hope I'll manage to stick to it. They need me and I need them. Sometimes it's good for me to escape a bit but I try to really limit it.

Love you so much and miss you so much.

February 26, 2024, 11:11 p.m.

My love,

And here another day has passed and you're still not here...

Tonight too, Roni said goodnight to you and that she's waiting, missing and loving you. She gave you a kiss in the air and hugged you. And also said "We'll talk in the morning, daddy." What an incredible child we have, really a champion!

Today I had Tui-Na treatment in the morning, and for a few moments I could feel your touch. I rested a lot and in the afternoon I was with the girls. Tomorrow I'm going with Roni on a community trip for Nahal Oz. I hope I'll manage to get through this day and that Roni will enjoy it.

Love you so much and miss you so much.

February 28, 2024, 11:20 p.m.

My love,

Another day has passed and you're still not here... Yesterday I went with Roni on a community trip for Nahal Oz. I thought to myself that this is what you would want me to do... It was hard for her at first, she recognized people and was excited, but didn't remember names and was disappointed that Ben-Ben didn't come. It wasn't easy for me either... Strange suddenly to be with the community that's quite broken up and without you too.

I really miss you and especially at the end of the day, there's no one to really share with, no one to laugh with and get upset about people with, no one to hug and simply no you.

Lishi Miran Lavi in the hostage families' representatives statement, from WhatsApp

I've been trying to understand in recent days what else I can do? Everything is converging again for me to be more with the girls... That's also part of the struggle. That at least they have me for more time than they've had lately. Every so often I need to take a pause. I've already learned not to be afraid of them and to accept them with love.

Love you so much and miss you so much.

March 1, 2024, 9:50 p.m.

My love,

I hope you feel that Roni says goodnight to you every day, every night, and that she misses you, loves you and is waiting. This week she also added kisses and a hug.

Today she kind of broke my heart (which is unclear how there are still whole parts left here). She told Inbar, her therapist, that she misses daddy Omri. And she also said she doesn't remember you. You're so missing from her life... And know that no matter how long it takes, you will be present as much as I can manage in both their lives.

Love you and miss you so much.

March 7, 2024, 10:04 p.m.

My love,

Another day has passed... I wonder if you know the dates. I wonder if you manage to count the days... I wonder if you distinguish between morning and night.

5 months. 153 days. A complex day for me and for the little ones. Roni seems to feel every 7th of the month. Alma too, I think.

She's lying next to me in bed and refusing to sleep in her own bed. My love, what two stubborn and opinionated girls we have... It probably couldn't have turned out any other way.

It's a bit hard for me to write to you today... Love you and miss you so much.

March 19, 2024, 8:39 p.m.

My love,

Roni just said goodnight to you at the window like every night. She said you don't hear her and she doesn't see you... You're really missing from her life and it's getting harder for her to deal with your absence.

She also said that my bed is also daddy's and until you come back, she's saving your place next to me... What an amazing child we have. I'm already waiting for the moment you return and the four of us will be together in bed. To be honest, I probably won't have a place. I'm imagining the picture I'll take of you sleeping with our two pups next to you... I'll definitely cry and you'll play it cool and laugh at me a bit and we'll both know your heart is bursting with happiness.

I wish you're also imagining this and many more moments that will happen... Because you will come back, there's no other option. And I hope so much, so much that it will be soon.

March 24, 2024, 8:54 p.m.

My love,

Another weekend.

Another long, unbearable weekend.

Friday the girls dressed up for kindergarten and were stunning, and I couldn't stop the tears that you're not seeing them, that you're not here with us. On Friday I took Roni for the first time to Tel Aviv, to the Hostages Square. It was hard for her at first but after an hour she relaxed and was the Roni we all know.

Omri in captivity. "I know you're holding on," Uncredited

I wonder if you can imagine her growing up. I wonder if you can imagine her talking and what a stunning and beautiful girl she is. And how much she looks like you, God, how much she resembles you.

We lit Shabbat candles at the Nahal Oz Kabbalat Shabbat and she asked in front of everyone for daddy to come back. Yesterday we were here. It was relatively calm and I didn't go to the rally in Tel Aviv. I needed a moment to stop for the girls and especially for myself. Roni still hasn't fallen asleep. This whole sleep issue is becoming harder and harder for her.

I was sure you would have returned by now... I'm sorry, sorry, sorry that I haven't succeeded yet. I'm doing everything I can... I'm stretching all possible boundaries and still haven't succeeded.

Alma celebrates her first birthday in a week, she took three steps on her own today, she's growing so much and I still haven't managed to bring you back to her. Sorry I'm so fragile and broken today.

Love you so much and miss you so much.

March 27, 2024, 9:58 p.m.

My love,

Roni calls me "Imush," you'll probably crack up when you hear it.

And Alma says "or" [light]... That's probably her first word because it repeats itself quite often. And it suits her so well, especially with the song "Sun Ray" which as soon as she hears the first note she starts moving. And little Alma is really asking and demanding things. They started hearing "The Lion Sleeps" at kindergarten, and it's hilarious. I also started doing your ritual with her after the shower like you do with Roni and she's so sweet.

In general, they're both wonderful, and how they've grown and started playing with each other and it's delightful. On Saturday we'll celebrate her first birthday.

My love, I really miss you.

Today I cried a lot.

Sorry I still haven't managed to bring you back.

Sorry I don't know what else to do.

Sorry, just sorry.

Love you tons and miss you so much.

April 3, 2024, 10:52 p.m.

My love,

I haven't written to you this week. It was an emotionally difficult week. Lots of things to do and I feel like I'm not getting enough done. Thoughts are constantly running through my head and I can't manage to organize them in writing...

Our pups are growing. I looked at them sleeping now. And I stayed a few more moments to try to transmit to you too... to focus on you, maybe you can imagine them. Maybe you can see them and how smart they are and how beautiful they are and how much they miss you. My love, do you know today's date? Do you know that Alma is already a year old?

Lishi with daughters Roni (left) and Alma. "I wonder if you can imagine her growing," from the family album

Roni still says goodnight to you every night, but it's also important for her to say that you don't hear her because you're far away. And when she says that, I ask her if she feels that you're thinking about her, and if she feels in her heart that you love her, and she answers yes and then I tell her that you also feel in your heart that she's saying goodnight to you... A ritual that's been repeating itself for a week. I wish you could feel, I wish we could really transmit to you a bit of strength and energy and the enormous love we have for you... I wish.

My love, you have a birthday next week and I'm trying very hard to put together something to mark it the way you would want... When you come back and I tell you what we did, you'll love it.

My love, on Saturday I'll be at the rally at Sha'ar HaNegev and on Sunday I'll speak at the six-month rally in Jerusalem... and ugh, I'm getting tired of it, but there's nothing to be done.

And tomorrow we'll celebrate Alma's birthday at kindergarten and I wish, I wish our wish will come true soon... Just come back already.

April 10, 2024, 10:04 p.m.

My love,

How are you? How are you doing?

Do you know that tomorrow is your birthday? Are you aware of the date? Are you managing to breathe?

When did you last see sunlight?

I did quite a few interviews this week... Deliberately, maybe they played them for you? Maybe they let you see? My love, hang in there. I know it's difficult to the point of impossible. For us here too.

Happy birthday tomorrow, my love

Keeping

Missing

Loving

April 14, 2024, 8:22 a.m.

My love,

The end of the world has come. Iran actually sent hundreds of missiles at us and we slept in the shelter. All the Nahal Oz families from Kramim in one shelter. My parents went back to the blue house at some point. Michal and Alma joined them after an hour, and I... I stayed with Roni who managed to fall asleep and is still sleeping...

Yesterday Roni took a toy phone and talked to you for five minutes, she told you about the birthday we had in Tel Aviv and how much she misses you. She even let Alma talk to you.

And Alma, amazing Alma, every picture she sees, she already says "Daddy" and is really starting to recognize you. Omrili, I miss you so much. I waited for you to come and calm me down. I waited for you to hug me.

I waited for someone to make me laugh.

Yesterday for the first time I prayed that you're still in a tunnel.

May 5, 2024, 10:36 p.m.

My love,

And again a week has passed since I wrote to you

And what a week...

Seeing you in a video after 204 days. Recognizing and not recognizing. Where's the spark in your eyes? Where's the captivating smile? Where are you, my love? Is something left of your soul after so much time?

Alma dressed up for Purim. "So many apologies I need to ask you for," Private album

And my father's heart couldn't take it... It almost completely shattered. How hard it is for him to see me, to see the girls and how hard it was for him to see you in the video. He held strong and only broke down after I flew off. And I most need a hug right now. And I most need you right now. For you to stroke my head and tell me everything is ok until I fall asleep... until I fall asleep.

I wish I could dream about you a bit. I wish I would wake up and there would be a deal.

I wish this nightmare would end already.

Love you

Love you

Love you.

May 18, 2024, 10:04 p.m.

My love,

Writing to you requires so much

I wonder when you'll read all this?!

When will you finally come back and what to write at all. To tell everything or just part... I want you here. Right here. Why don't they end this nightmare already, why?!

My love, the girls are growing so much. Two beauties, two opinionated ones, two brave ones, two heroines, two smart ones and two who miss you so much. Roni asked this week for you to come to her birthday... It's in July, there's still time, she tells me. Daddy will come already for my birthday, right?! She asked the next day. And I can only tell her that I'm doing everything for it to happen and that together we'll ask and maybe it will come true.

Seven months, the same wish.

Who would have believed so much time would pass.

Sorry, my love. Sorry.

And Alma points several times a day at the pictures and says "Daddy." "Daddy."

Ohhh

The nightmare doesn't end, it continues and continues... You'll be shocked when you meet them. How sweet they are, it's something else. There's no one who meets them and isn't captivated by their special charm. I took them today to the pool here in Kramim and they enjoyed it so much. And in the afternoon we ate ice cream on the grass and jumped on the trampoline and you were so missing. You're missing in every second.

We love you so much.

June 22, 2024, 12:50 a.m.

My love,

Another weekend

Full moon

I really miss you and want you to come back already... Roni was at home today. We drove to Be'er Sheva to buy sunglasses for Alma and another pair for her. We ate ice cream and she again detailed what she wants for her birthday: inflatables, games, balloons, a chair and a wreath. And maybe daddy will come too. Either yes or no. Roni asked every day this week to draw a card for you, also today with Inbar her therapist. Wow, how much she misses you, it's insane.

I'm afraid it will take a lot more time.

So afraid for you and also for me. Come back already.

August 22, 2024, 12:24 a.m.

My love,

Tomorrow I'll open your phone again. I'll send a dot and hope it's the last time because how much more can this go on. My love, I know you're holding on. I don't write much, quite generally, but I promise I remember, I promise there will be so much to tell and pictures to show and videos.

My love,

I don't know if this is right but I have to tell you this too.

In an advocacy mission to the European Union in Brussels

Roni told her therapist today about a dream she had this week... She said that daddy and mommy were in the safe room in Nahal Oz with knives and we were cutting a salad. And then the bad people came in and your hand had many knives and each time they took a knife from you and it hurt you.

My love – do you remember if Roni was awake when you came in with the knives?!

Many things are getting mixed up for me already. I want you to come back a bit. I want there to be a bit of quiet in my head and heart. Really worried about you and waiting, waiting for you to return.

Always yours.

October 12, 2024, 1:53 p.m.

My love,

"Daddy Omri," "Daddy, me," "Daddy, Roni." That's what Alma said a few minutes ago.

My love, we'll remember this day. I have tears in my eyes.

She doesn't say my name or my parents', but yours she knows. And now I can imagine her together with Roni running toward you and calling daddy Omri.

She's exploring, Alma, the eyes, the nose, the mouth. Giving a kiss. You're so present here. And so missing. And waiting, waiting for you to finally return.

Today is Yom Kippur. I remember how last year I tried to convince you to go to the sea with everyone, and you said "no" and stayed. What luck, because that way there's one more memory from before that cursed day that isn't over yet.

My love – sorry I don't write to you too much anymore. It's really hard, but I remember and wait and miss and love.

November 22, 2024, 12:51 a.m.

A month.

A month I haven't written to you.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

So many apologies I need to ask of you.

Maybe you'll come back already so you can forgive me?!

We moved to a Carville. That's it, you can come back now. Everything is ready. I promise to make room in the closet.

How much longer?

Invitation to Omri's birthday. Not really a celebration

What's happening with you there? Are you sleeping? Are you eating? Did they bring you long clothes? Do you even know that the rain has started to fall? Are your knees bothering you? Are you somehow managing to alleviate the pain? At least the physical...

Omrili, how much longer will we wait?

Alma asked this week to see you.

Can you believe it? Alma, that baby you last saw when she was half a year old, asked "Can we see him?"

I'm angry and I'm annoyed and I'm sad and I'm not managing to hide it in recent days. It comes out on them sometimes too. Sorry.

I feel like I'm not really managing to cope anymore. I don't accomplish anything. I can't even buy things for the house. A house isn't a home. It won't be a home until you're here. It's borrowed for a period and that's it. My love, I had a panic attack three weeks ago during the move here and today I had another one in the middle of shopping. Everything is closing in on me.

Enough, how much more can we take?!

Sorry, I don't know what else to do to make you come back already.

Sorry

January 21, 2025, 11:32 p.m.

My love,

What a midlife crisis they've arranged for me...

I really tried to disconnect last week. You'll be proud of me when you return. On Friday I celebrated my birthday with the family. Your absence was so felt that evening. Even Moshe was in the country and Kamila and Alon came too. Kamila prepared a memory game for us with lots of photos of us and Roni was so excited. In general, Roni is the world champion at memory games. And on Sunday I went for a disconnection for three days with Nadav and Yamit.

A hostage's son, a hostage's sister, and a hostage's wife went for three days in the desert... The beginning of a bad joke. And I managed until Monday evening, and then the dizziness began. A meeting with Bibi on Tuesday in Jerusalem, and I was without a car. And I arrived and entered and left more frustrated... But it's starting. Tomorrow it starts.

I keep reminding myself in my head all the time that despite the anger, disappointment and frustration that I couldn't get you on the list (how disgusting that sounds), I've always said that to finish something you need to start it. And here tomorrow it starts... Just that it doesn't stop. Just that it continues.

Today too I spoke in the evening at Keshot. How many are waiting for you. And I sat with Yamit hoping the phone would come and tell her that Doron is coming back tomorrow. But the phone hasn't come yet.

And like every time, I ended at the rally with a promise to you – I won't stop, we won't stop until we see Roni and Alma running toward you and saying: Daddy.

We love you so much.

January 19, 2025, 10:36 p.m.

Omrili,

They're here. Really, really here. I couldn't not watch... I left Roni and Alma with my mom and dad, and ran to the television. They're here. They survived. You all are truly surviving. It's not just in our imagination. It's really, really happening.

My love, the first part of my birthday wish came true – the agreement has started. I'm allowing myself after so much time to imagine a picture in my head. You, Roni and Alma in front of a cake with a two-year birthday candle, smiling and blowing it out together, and there's no longer the regular sentence: "That daddy Omri will come back from Gaza." You're already here. A little bit more. A little bit more and you're here. It's truly possible.

January 25, 2025, 10:36 p.m.

My love,

Another Shabbat. Another Shabbat, and you're still not here.

I avoided the television today. It's a bit difficult, I admit. The guilt feelings are gnawing at me, and between us, the jealousy too. For almost a year, Miki and Miri kept your bicycle for us. Roni asked that we bring it to us. We went together and took it. Roni was happy and then said to me "Daddy won't be able to ride me anymore because I'm big and know how to ride by myself. And mom, maybe when daddy comes back from Gaza he'll ride Alma and I'll ride next to them on my bike?"

And I laughed to myself in my head because I understood that she already knows that mom isn't into bikes.

So the bike is now at the entrance to the house. And don't worry, one of the first missions when you come back is to buy new ones with two seats, one for Roni and one for Alma. What do you say? When will it happen? What's going on with you all there? Do you even know that people are being released? I really miss you and continue to cling to the fact that soon you'll be here. It's really possible.

January 30, 2025, 11:12 p.m.

My love,

I visited Nahal Oz today. I did advocacy there next to our house on the grass.

When I entered the kibbutz I suddenly realized that it's really a ceasefire. And who enters Nahal Oz during a ceasefire? It always stresses me out. Especially in the last year. I arrived an hour before everyone else and sat on the grass in the same place we had a pizza picnic with the little ones a few weeks before everything happened. Everything is quiet, everything is pastoral, as if nothing happened.

Every time I visit I look at the lemon tree you pruned a few days before. Great job you did. You don't understand how it has recovered. Really strange to be in Nahal without you there. And you're so close yet unreachable. And it's impossible to touch and possible to speak only in the head and heart. But I feel you there the most.

First time telling our story right in front of the house. Right in the place where everything happened. And how strange it is to even call that place home. For more than a year I referred to it as a storage place for our things that we would never take. And suddenly home. My love, everything is mixing together. All the feelings. I feel in a whirlpool and try to float to the top. And don't always succeed. Barely see the girls. Escape to be constantly active. So there's no time to think. So there's no time to fall. So there's no moment to break and collapse.

February 13, 2025, 12:31 a.m.

Omrili,

Sorry I haven't written for almost two weeks. All the happiness and all the sadness are mixing together. And it's hard, hard... Sometimes it's hard to breathe. Sometimes it's hard to express what's inside. You know me, always playing strong, but inside inside everything is stormy and broken and difficult. But I'm not giving up. Today was a day with hope. Today they told me some things about you from the time there. Although it was a while ago but you still managed to stay with it.

Finally a bit of air to breathe.

My love – I love you, trust that you're holding on and surviving. I feel you so strongly. Roni really misses you. She calls me to her every time I'm around and tells me she wants to talk about daddy. And the conversation always ends with when? When will daddy finally come back?

I was also in Nahal Oz today, mainly to say thank you to so many wonderful people who are with us and supporting us. People who don't know you but already really know you. How many people you'll need to meet when you come back... So many have entered my and the girls' hearts and home in this weird year.

I managed to get back just before they fell asleep. I managed to put them to bed today. One of the most important tasks I set for myself today. To return before they fall asleep.

And now quiet... I have a few more hours until Alma comes over to me. And maybe Roni will join too. To look at them, to breathe them in. For me and also a bit for you.

Loving

Keeping

Missing.

February 28, 2025, 11:56 p.m.

My love,

Tough weeks... A strong feeling that soon it's happening on one hand, and on the other the reality that shows everything's collapsing. That they're not continuing. How much longer will you stay there? How much longer will we wait? When will I get the hug? When will you get it? When will our day come? When will it be our time?

70th birthday for Grandpa. One single wish in front of the candle, private album

We said goodbye to Tsachi today... I know you already parted on the first day, that cursed day. So much pain. So much sadness. And I keep thinking all the time if you know? What do you know? What are you exposed to?

We also marked my father's 70th birthday. I so hoped for a birthday gift, for a gift for Family Day and it didn't come. And the wish in front of the candle remained the same this time too: "That daddy Omri will return from Gaza."

The post 'Daddy will come back': Wife keeps hope alive by sending kidnapped husband daily texts appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.

Eitan Cunio has watched the final scene of "Youth" dozens of times before. "But watching it again today is tough," he says. "I hear David sob, and I imagine what's happening to him there, in captivity. His crying is what's hardest for me in the final scene."

In that scene, at the entrance to the apartment building in today's Keshet neighborhood where the two brothers, the film's protagonists, live, David Cunio wears an Israel Defense Forces uniform and holds a long weapon. Eitan, who plays his younger brother, walks quickly towards him until they collide. At first, they struggle with the rifle between them, until David softens, breaks down in Eitan's embrace, and bursts into heart-wrenching tears.in

That painful scene, in director and screenwriter Tom Shoval's debut film, also concludes his new and harrowing film "Letter to David," which will be screened next week at the 75th 2025 Berlin International Film Festival (Berlinale). It's a letter from a director and friend to the beloved and missing hero of the previous film, hoping that once again reality will follow the script, and the nightmare will end in a strong embrace from his friends, the twin brothers.

Once, they used to run around barefoot together throughout the kibbutz. Two children who were one – and in each of them, two. Two halves of the same heart. David and Eitan. On Saturdays, they would wake up early in the morning, turn on the television without waking mom Silvia and dad Luis, run to grandma's house, make omelets with Grandpa Shmuel in the dining hall, and after the meal go play soccer with friends. Enjoying the freedom of a childhood without awareness of an end.

Ariel is the youngest child. He joined the family when David and Eitan were 7 years old. Although the age gap is large, the twins and Lucas, the eldest son, always protected their little brother. "I fell in love with Arbel the day she was born," Silvia recounts. "They weren't friends in childhood, but she always loved him. They've been together for five years, but they only told me about their relationship two years after."

David was born first, Eitan arrived in the world five minutes later. "Everything with them was together," their mother, Silvia Cunio, recounts. "If one was sick and needed antibiotics, the other would have the same symptoms, just without the antibiotics." Eitan nods: "If David disappeared from my sight for a moment, I would immediately worry about him, search and ask where he was. A twin brother is like part of you. You can't explain it."

This thing that can't be explained, and also can't be seen, keeps them always connected. Even now, when David has been in Gaza captivity for 490 days and nights, in the depths of the tunnels. "Every time I think about David, I feel a choking sensation in my throat," Eitan says in the film, and immediately his voice chokes up, and his hand climbs to comfort his throat. "Even now."

In that same abyss of terror, separate from David, their younger brother Ariel is also held captive, after being taken with his partner, Arbel Yehoud (she was released in late January). The Cunio family watched breathlessly during the terrifying moments of Arbel's release. "I didn't breathe," says Silvia, after meeting Arbel this week for the first time in the returnees' ward at Sheba Medical Center.

"The way Arbel held the terrorist's hand tightly when she was released, out of her fear, it was terrible. When I saw her in the hospital, I was filled with strength. Now I have another partner in the struggle for Ariel, and of course for David. We hugged an endless hug. A hug that doesn't end. Tight-tight."

She has known Arbel and her family, as well as Yarden Bibas, Shiri, and the boys, since they were born. She hugged Shiri when she was just six months old, when she was her caregiver in the Nir Oz infant house. The joy and hope that fill her heart after meeting Arbel and Yarden, and also Ofer Kalderon, dissipate when we talk about Shiri and the boys, whose fate is unknown. But "hope remains last. We don't lose hope," she says.

Ariel is the youngest child. He joined the family when David and Eitan were 7 years old. Although the age gap is large, the twins and Lucas, the eldest son, always protected their little brother. "I fell in love with Arbel the day she was born," Silvia recounts. "They weren't friends in childhood, but she always loved him. They've been together for five years, but they only told me about their relationship two years after."

"Ariel, like me, is very introverted," says Eitan. "Very similar to me in personality. David and Lucas are similar to each other in terms of charisma and courage to do things. He's very into sports, really loves soccer, and is also handsome. From a young age, he was very interested in astronomy, and that also created the good bond with Arbel."

In the meeting with Arbel, Silvia hoped to hear information about Ariel, but learned that the kidnappers held the couple together for three hours, then transferred him to another vehicle, and since then she hasn't seen him again. From that moment on, she was alone, completely alone, but coped and cared for a Gazan baby throughout the period. That saved her.

"The flight of tears"

On October 7, director Tom Shoval was in Berlin writing a science fiction series in German. When he turned on his phone that Saturday afternoon, he went into shock. "There was a feeling of apocalypse," he recalls. "I immediately started looking for a flight. I said, 'I can't stay here for a second – I must go home.'"

He called that flight "the Flight of Tears." "I suddenly realize at the entrance to the airport reserve that soldiers are returning to fight and Israelis are returning to the country to comfort relatives in mourning. Everyone was in uncertainty. I've never been on such a flight. You start developing scenarios in your imagination. It was a feeling of fearful anticipation of what we'd see when we got off the plane.

"The first thing I thought about when I understood there was a massacre in the Gaza border communities was David and Eitan, but I couldn't bring myself to contact them because I was afraid of what I'd hear. Only a few days after I arrived, I received a message that David, his family, and Ariel had been kidnapped."

In a cruel and painful irony, in the plot of Shoval's debut film, "Youth," David and Eitan Cunio play Yaki and Shaul, brothers who decide to kidnap a rich girl for ransom to save their family that's fallen on hard times.

"It's a film that was written during the social protest and mainly dealt with the social gaps within us," Shoval explains. "My brother, Dan, and I experienced financial tension at home firsthand. We both loved cinema from a young age, and at night we would build scripts."

That's how the brothers Yaki and Shaul were born, who in the film are not twins. David plays the older brother, who enlists in the army, returns in the first week of basic training with a weapon, and then the decision is made to kidnap a girl. During this time, without the brothers knowing, the unemployed father is already desperate and decides to part from the world. The sand in the hourglass runs out in the background.

On that dark Saturday, Silvia and her husband, Luis Cunio, the family's father, were besieged in their home in Nir Oz. In the house opposite them, Lucas, the eldest son, was hunkering down. Eitan, his wife Stav, and their two daughters were at their home in the kibbutz at the same time. After a quarter of an hour of continuous sirens, they realized it was an unusual event. "I ran to get the phones, and we started to update on what was happening," he recounts. "At seven in the morning we already heard small arms fire. Suddenly a message came from the emergency squad that two terrorists were identified near the clinic, and the instruction was to close windows, lock doors, and stay quiet."

Eitan locked the main door, the shelter, and the steel window, and the two waited. "The shouting in Arabic came closer, and so did the shooting. Explosions started, and we felt the shock wave inside the shelter. I asked Stav, 'What's happening here? I only hear Arabic.' And then messages started coming from kibbutz members – 'They're in my house', 'Come get me out'. I said to Stav: 'Listen, we're being conquered, it's all over the kibbutz.'"

At 8:28, a message was received in the family group from Ariel – "We've entered a horror movie." This was the last message from him. Only after a few weeks did the family learn that he and his partner Arbel were kidnapped, and so were David, his wife Sharon, and their twin daughters Yuli and Emma, only 3 years old.

They also came to Eitan's house. "At 9:10 I heard them taking apart the main door, approaching the shelter – and I'm on the door, holding the handle. Suddenly I smelled gasoline. I looked at the floor and saw splashes of fuel. I told my wife, 'Duck! They're burning the house.'"

"I moved away from the door and heard the flames. A lot of smoke started entering the shelter. I told my wife, 'Listen, we're not going out now – we'll wait for everything to calm down outside and then we'll go out, because now they're kidnapping, killing, I don't know what they're doing.' My wife agreed with me, and we stayed."

For five and a half hours, Eitan and Stav's house burned. "The smoke filled the shelter until it started to cover the whole room. We started coughing, lots of mucus, phlegm. I told her, 'Okay, let's try to open the window a bit, air it out.' I lowered the air conditioner and tried to find the piping, to have an exit hole, but I was already starting to blur, lose consciousness, become disoriented."

At those moments, Eitan sent a voice message to his mother. "Save me," he told her, his voice choking. "I heard the granddaughters coughing in the background, and I started calling everyone – the police, Magen David Adom, Home Front Command, friends," Silvia describes the terrible moments.

"When I tried to summon help, everywhere they told me, 'They're in our house, I can't move.' I tried to approach the door, I thought maybe I could get the girls out, the house was full of flames. I went to the window, but it was hot and wouldn't open, it got stuck in place from so much heat, melted. To this day it can't be opened," Eitan recounts.

"I started losing my mind, I didn't know what to do. I saw my daughters choking to death, my wife was about to not be with me anymore. All the time I checked if they were moving, if they were responding, blinking. They didn't open their eyes. I put my hand on them, to feel if they were breathing, if there was a pulse.

"At some point, little Yuval seemed to be in her last throes. I didn't know what to do. Again, I tried to open the door, but the bolt expanded from the heat so much that it got stuck. I fought with the door until the handle broke. I fainted and woke up, fainted and woke up, a million times like that. And in the middle, after about two hours, my wife and I talked to each other and she says to me, 'Let's say goodbye to the girls.' This is the hardest moment we had."

Eitan pauses. "Wait, it's always hard for me to talk about this. We told the girls, 'We love you.' We did everything, we didn't succeed. We gave a hug, a kiss, and that's it. It became quiet. I sent a last message: 'Come save us, because we're finished' – and I fainted." Eitan woke up to a phone call. Eran from the emergency squad was on the line, with hope – "In ten minutes I'll be with you."

Eitan: "I don't know how I did it: I got up, went to the bolt – and it opened. I collapsed again on the floor. At a quarter past two I heard the door opening."

Eitan, Stav, and the girls were evacuated to the grass. "All the way there were embers on the floor. I walked barefoot, in underwear, because I had given my pants to my wife at the beginning – just so they wouldn't rape her. Like that. These are the thoughts that come to you when you're trapped in a shelter with terrorists around the house."

When they were transferred to the command post, after half an hour Eitan started vomiting. "Something black came out of me, I don't understand what I'm vomiting, what is it, tar? We're in the command post, lying there with one oxygen balloon for all of us. Every time someone else takes a breath of air, and wounded people arrive, and you don't know what's happening with your siblings. I was also finished from the smoke. Only when I left the house, the body suddenly started receiving oxygen and I started feeling all the pains. Suddenly everything burns, the eyes, you can't open them, and all the time they wake you up because you're not allowed to sleep."

Through cinema

While they were recovering from smoke inhalation and injuries, the Cunio family began to fight for the return of the hostages. A few days after Tom returned to Israel, Silvia wrote him a message asking him to try to help, to talk about David and Ariel, to keep them in the media consciousness.

Shoval: "We wrote a few articles about how David, who was an actor in a film that was screened at the Berlin Film Festival, sold for distribution and won awards, is now kidnapped in Gaza. During this, I ask myself what else I can do to help, but also to express myself. I felt helpless. I couldn't come to terms with the fact that life goes on, while David and Ariel and so many others were still kidnapped. The way I know is cinema."

In the documentary film "Letter to David", Shoval uses materials from the first film. "It's saturated with images of kidnapping," says Shoval. "I wanted to use that to tell something about the here and now. I wanted to talk about the gaps between reality and cinema and how the two worlds meet, not necessarily in the natural order."

"Many times, there's a reality that you take to the script. Here, something somewhat opposite happened – David, who was a kidnapper in the film, became kidnapped in reality. These reflections interested me – and through this, I wanted to make the family's cry heard. I started looking for materials and reached 'Green Productions,' which produced 'Youth'. They opened the archive and I found 80 tapes that David and Eitan filmed in the background of making the film."

These materials, which were not edited, became a treasure. "I look at the materials – suddenly Shiri Bibas comes out, suddenly Yarden arrives. You see the family and community life in a period when no one imagined what would happen in 12 years."

Among the footage, Shoval found a video that David filmed in an orchard as they pick oranges, and suddenly David focuses on a path that the orchards create towards the horizon, zooms in and says: "Here's the light at the end of the tunnel."

"And now the tunnel, in the current context, has become like such a prophecy," says Shoval. "Like a person looking at his fate. It moved and chilled me and I realized I have another layer to the story of the film."

In the videos that Shoval incorporated into the film, you see the reflection of David and Eitan in each other. The united family. "The warmth, the intimacy. They built themselves a nest full of love and didn't feel they were sitting on the edge of a volcano. Even though rockets were already falling then and there were rounds, their togetherness was so strong – that it conquered all the anxieties. It was very moving to see that."

Between the videos and segments of the letter to David that Tom reads, Sharon describes in her voice the violent kidnapping of her, David, and the girls. She tells how Emma, Yuli's twin, disappeared in those moments, until she and David were convinced she was gone. For ten days she was separated from her twin and her parents, in captivity. In the background, in one of the home videos that survived the massacre, the girls are seen playing with their father.

Their father, who looks exactly like Uncle Eitan, who still hasn't returned. And there's an invisible abyss in this picture. The abyss that swallowed the hero of the film, who is gone. Eitan doesn't stop feeling the phantom longing for his twin brother and younger brother. Just after the massacre, he could barely look at himself in the mirror.

"Every time I look in the mirror, I see him. David. When I saw his twin daughters for the first time, it was very difficult. They saw me and didn't stop crying. You have no way to deal with being so similar to him. It was also very difficult for Sharon, my sister-in-law. I have behaviors like David sometimes. In the way I express anger, for example, I remind her of him so much, that Sharon can't stand it."

Eitan, perhaps more than anyone else, is the one who can feel David, enter his skin, and feel the fear, the sorrow, the burning longing. The pain. "I met someone in Alumim whom I didn't know," he recounts. "I didn't know much about him, he simply approached me one day and said to me: 'Eitan, I really understand what you're going through.' I asked what he meant, and he told me that while he was fighting in the Yom Kippur War, one day, he felt very unwell. As if he were sick. He felt chills and pains in his body. That evening they informed him that his twin brother was killed in the war. So to your question, if I feel David – I prefer not to feel, apparently."

Tears of joy

This week, eyes filled with tears of joy, relief, excitement – and also terrible sadness and worry. "Seeing Arbel return, it was very mixed," says Eitan. "On one hand, there's great joy that she finally returned, and you don't need to worry about her well-being anymore – she's okay and she's here with her family. On the other hand, you say, but what about David? And what about Ariel? And what about the Bibas family?

"Yarden, who returned, is my best friend – I'm so happy he's back. But Shiri and the boys are still not here, and the uncertainty is the worst thing there is. You know, I met Yarden and Arbel yesterday, and I felt like until today people would meet me and say: 'I don't know what to say.'

"I thought to myself, they're the closest, Yarden is the closest friend to me, like my brother, and I don't know what to say to him. What and how to ask, what's allowed. You sift through what to tell him now and what later, you feel uncomfortable that you don't know how to behave with a person you grew up with all your life. Or with Arbel, you suddenly don't know how to start a conversation."

Q: And how do they feel?

"I won't elaborate, I'll just say that they're strong and physically they're okay. Now we just have to keep going forward. Not stop the deal. The hostages have been through enough and we can't stop – we must get them out of there as quickly as possible."

On the dramas provided by the leaders in Israel with changes in the negotiating team, and in Washington with a plan for evacuation and construction in Gaza, Eitan says: "I think that in the end, the one who tips the scales one way or the other is only President Donald Trump. No matter what Bibi does here, if Trump exerts all his weight on the deal – it will happen."

Q: What would you say to him, if you could?

"I would ask him: 'Use your magic.' That he should want the release of all the hostages more than anything else, that this should be his goal. Without stages and without dragging out time. Do your magic."

The post His twin brother is held by Hamas – and now he has a message to Trump appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.

A comprehensive report by the Israel Women's Network and the Women and War Documentation and Research Collective reveals critical failures in Israel's response to sexual violence during and after the Oct. 7 Hamas massacre. The report highlights systematic governmental failures, including unimplemented UN resolutions and ignored civil society warnings about protecting women and children in conflict zones.

"We're more than a year into the event, and no one can guarantee that if this happens again, the state will handle it differently," says Tal Hochman, executive director of the Israel Women's Network.

The report, which will be submitted to multiple government offices, including the Prime Minister's Office and ministries of defense, foreign affairs, and justice,  points to a "lack of knowledge and professional capability within governmental mechanisms."

Video: Israeli interrogation of Gaza father and son confessing to rape and murder of civilians on Oct. 7

National security researcher Shira Shaham emphasizes that sexual violence in conflicts represents a fundamental security issue, not merely a women's rights concern. "A security concept that doesn't consider aspects of dangers to women is an incomplete security concept," she states.

The report criticizes the absence of an official, transparent government account of war crimes and sexual violence during the attack. It particularly emphasizes the ongoing plight of hostages who "continue to be exposed to violence in general and gender and sexual violence in particular" in Hamas captivity.

In April, National Security Advisor Tzachi Hanegbi directed the establishment of a "national team on gender violence following Oct. 7" to integrate the issue with a broad perspective. The team brings together representatives from various government ministries and security branches, and focuses on action in diplomatic and international dimensions, working with UN bodies and human rights organizations.

The State Attorney's Office stated, "A thorough investigation of all Oct. 7 events has been and continues to be conducted, examining the role of each and every one of those investigated. Beyond this, at this stage we cannot detail the particulars and findings of the investigations."

The post Government failed to respond to Hamas sexual violence, report finds appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.

They came out of hell in Gaza and were released back into life. But, even while they are here, now free, their captivity comes back to haunt them and refuses to release its grip on them. It surrounds them when they drink their morning coffee. It accompanies them throughout the day as they desperately try to adhere to a new, minimal routine. It envelopes them with their blanket when they go to sleep. Its shackles choke them as they breathe, pressing on their lungs and burning their heart when they recall their captivity.

"Some of the triggers are sensory. They are related to smell, sound or sight. Some of the hostages who came to hospital here in Israel after being released were immediately reminded of the hospitals in Gaza, as the screens between the beds were the same color."

Since October 7, more than 90 hostages (including foreign nationals) have returned alive from Hamas captivity in Gaza – the majority of them women and children. Each and every one of them has experienced a different, terrible ordeal in captivity, and have had to deal with a different situation on returning home to safety in Israel. However, according to experts who deal with treatment of the victims of captivity, all of those returning share one thing in common: nobody will succeed in beginning a course of personal treatment to recover as long as there are still 101 hostages left behind (this week it was claimed that at least one half of them are still alive). And to use the professional jargon: "as long as the acute trauma has not come to an end."

As far as those returnees from captivity in Gaza are concerned, the triggers that reignite the trauma are everywhere, on many occasions in what are ostensibly the most mundane, day-to-day locations. "One of the female hostages, for example, jumps at every knock on the door," tells us Prof. Ofrit Shapira Berman, an analytical psychologist from the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, an expert in "complex post-trauma" treatment, a term that will be clarified here. "In captivity, this particular woman hostage was shut up in a room, and every time that people from outside came, she was forced to wear the traditional Muslim head covering for women, the hijab. Thus, every innocent knock on the door now immediately sends her back to Gaza.

"Some of the triggers are sensory. They are related to smell, sound or sight. Some of the hostages who came to hospital here in Israel after being released were immediately reminded of the hospitals in Gaza, as the screens between the beds were the same color."

Prof. Shapira Berman, analytical psychologist Prof. Merav Roth and psychologist Iris Gavrieli Rahabi did not need to wait long before deciding to take action, the decision was made already on October 8. On that day, the day following the 'Black Sabbath', Shapira Berman published an announcement in her therapists' group, asking: "Who volunteers to treat survivors?"

Within an hour, no less than 450 analytical psychologists had signed up for this venture on a volunteer basis. Since then, this special volunteer task force has been providing long-term (for three years) treatment at no cost to all the victims of the attack from the Gaza border communities and their families, including victims from various circles that are not entitled to state funding. For that purpose, the task force volunteers have been working to raise funds and donations around the world.

Following the establishment of the Hostages and Missing Families Forum, the task force volunteered to function as the clinical center providing it with professional service. The therapists from the volunteer task force also treat those hostages who have returned to Israel as part of the release deal in November 2023. "During the treatment sessions, one of the women hostages shared the fact that she was unable to remain outside her home without an armed individual next to her. When she is on the street, she looks in all directions to see from where the imminent disaster will appear," Shapira Berman recounts.

According to the expert therapists, those released hostages now trying to settle down in areas once again under rocket and missile fire, and as such are required to enter the safe rooms once again, are currently experiencing particular difficulty. "This is an extremely harrowing experience for those who were abducted from their safe room in the first place, for them, danger lurks in every corner," Shapira Berman explains.

"The released hostages have essentially returned to a country in chaos, to family members who are falling apart at the seams, burned out and hurting. Thus, the entire recovery process is extremely complex for them. If we normally use grounding techniques in post-trauma cases and for example, we say to the patient 'now you are safe,' 'what you are experiencing at the moment are memories,' 'it is not happening here and now' – in the current situation, when we are still in the middle of a war and there is no safe location, we simply do not have the ability to say this to them."

"Becoming friends with a terrorist"

Although considerable knowhow and experience has been accumulated in Israel on the treatment of trauma victims, all the experts we spoke with agree that this time, we are dealing with a unique situation. "The current trauma is of a completely different kind," explains Prof. Asher Ben-Arieh, the Head of the Haruv Institute for the Study of Child Maltreatment, who specializes in training professional therapists responsible for treating children who have been the victims of abuse, neglect and trauma.

"We understand that we are currently dealing with a new form of trauma that we are not familiar with. In the early stages, we thought that this was a trauma that is similar to the trauma of abuse among children, in which the victim experiences, among others, a feeling of betrayal. The feeling that the person who harms you is the one who is supposed to protect you. But then we came to understand that there is an additional element involved here: the sense of failure that the hostages returning from Gaza have experienced. This is especially so in regard to the children who were taken hostage, and they experienced the element of failure more severely."

Q: What is this feeling of failure?

"Take, for example, the children who were abducted. How do you treat a child who was told by the adults around him that if he enters the safe room and acts according to the instructions, everything will be alright, and he then did as he was told – and nothing at all was alright? How do you rebuild his trust in the adult world? Everything has fallen apart for him.

"The fact that all the support systems collapsed, and that all that we told the children that was supposed to protect them failed – this is something quite dramatic that created new forms of trauma. Anybody who claims to understand this new trauma has no idea what he is talking about. We are contending with all this right now, and in all honesty and modesty, I admit that we are still learning how to approach it. Nobody in the entire world has ever had to deal with acute trauma that has been going on for almost a year now."

Indeed, as stated above, in terms of the treatment of victims of captivity who have returned from Gaza, many therapists use the term "complex post-trauma", which was coined in 1992 by the psychiatrist Prof. Judith Lewis Herman, a renowned researcher from Harvard University, author of Trauma and Recovery, a book that became a significant milestone in the study of post-traumatic disorders and their treatment. Lewis Herman based her study, among others, on her work with released American prisoners of war from Vietnam.

"Prof. Lewis Herman discovered that people suffering from complex post-trauma tend to activate dissociative mechanisms, in other words mechanisms of emotional or sensory detachment, with significant difficulty in their emotional regulation," explains Prof. Lewis Herman. "In parallel, she identified in them a tendency towards somatization, in other words, a tendency to convert and communicate intolerable psychological distress as bodily symptoms. This situation involves, for example, pain with no medical explanation. The difficulty in exercising emotional regulation might be manifested in a tendency to hurt oneself.

"In her work, she discovered that the common factor shared by these symptoms is that we are dealing with repetitive and ongoing trauma – which occurs in the context of relations of dependency and authority. We will see complex post-trauma among people who have survived captivity and also among victims who have undergone sexual abuse during childhood, and survivors of concentration and death camps.

"Among the people that I treat, and we have treated hundreds of trauma victims from October 7, the most common picture is not that of post-trauma being caused by a single incident, as is the case with traffic accidents for example, despite the terrible atrocities that they experienced. The main story of the returning hostages and those people who survived the attacks on the Gaza border communities is complex post-trauma, which is related to trauma that has been ongoing for months or years, and which involves the element of betrayal.

"Not only were the captors in Gaza monsters, but there was also a state of dependency on them. A monstrous captor, whenever he is not engaged in the abuse of the hostage is often perceived by the captive as a 'good' object. Thus, the hostages' entire mental conduct during their captivity is focused on an attempt to soften up the heart of the abductors, to get in their good books, to calm them down so that they refrain from hurting them.

The experts underscore an additional problematic component: The hostages returned to Israel in the midst of an extremely disconcerting socio-political situation. Shapira Berman: "They see that we are apparently not succeeding in bringing back those who have been left behind in Gaza, and on the other hand, these people are being turned into 'enemies'. Their relatives are being told, 'You are the reason that it is not possible to bring them home, as you are demonstrating – and that bumps up the price.'

"The dependency is also due to the fact that the captors and the hostages lived in the same physical domain. Everyone was exposed to the same danger. When the IDF was bombing Gaza – both hostage and captor could have been killed. On occasions, the captors shielded the hostages with their body. There were situations in which the captors were emotionally linked to the hostages, especially when the hostages were children or women. People were holed up together for 50 days or more, and in such a situation complex relationships by nature will tend to develop."

The psychologist Iris Gavrieli Rahabi, brings the example of a boy, who during his treatment, described how a Hamas terrorist who was guarding him tried to make friends with him. "Somebody of whom you are scared to death is guarding you, so you hate him – but you also have to make him come to like you. As far as the boy is concerned, on the one hand this can be absolutely crushing, while on the one hand it gives rise to considerable feelings of guilt.

"That boy, when he was still very young, tried to explain to a terrorist why it is difficult for him to be his friend, and he had to do so without sparking any anger. The boy felt that he must tell the Hamas guard something personal about his family, about their life, and this burned him up inside."

Prof. Shapira Berman emphasizes just to what extent this confusion continues to have an effect on the children who have returned from captivity, even today. "The children we treated in the task force were busy trying to decipher who the good guys were and who the bad guys were. It is supposedly as clear as daylight: The good guys in fairy tales are also the strong, and there the children experienced a very different situation. Ostensibly, it is clear that we are the good guys – but 'we' did not succeed in rescuing them for 51 days.

"Beyond that, the danger of being killed in Gaza was actually more down to our military, while it was the terrorists who would say to the hostages 'You are safe here, we will look after you.' That mental disorientation is extremely problematic."

The experts underscore an additional problematic component: The hostages returned to Israel in the midst of an extremely disconcerting socio-political situation. Shapira Berman: "They see that we are apparently not succeeding in bringing back those who have been left behind in Gaza, and on the other hand, these people are being turned into 'enemies'. Their relatives are being told, 'You are the reason that it is not possible to bring them home, as you are demonstrating – and that bumps up the price.'

"The more the state of shock wears off and the released hostages begin to connect to their own emotions, the more they begin to speak about this. It really bothers them. The disorientation confuses things.

"And they also have to face an extremely difficult question: How can it be that suddenly people are cursing the hostages' families? Who is the good guy and who is the bad guy here? From here, the experience of betrayal begins to increase, which is the most difficult in a state of ongoing trauma. The experience of betrayal here is multi-layered: the army failed to protect them, their parents failed to protect them, the government does not protect them – and now those who were abducted are actually being blamed for all this."

According to Shapira Berman, there is an additional problem that gives rise to the increased feeling of disorientation. "Almost all the hostages underwent some form of brainwashing while in captivity that the State of Israel is not interested in them. The terrorists would say things such as 'you will be here for many years,' alongside comments such as 'within a day or two you will be released.' In doing so, they shattered the hostages' sense of trust, and when you shatter a person's trust and hope – you essentially turn that person into the living-dead."

Q: I assess that it is extremely difficult to come out of it.

Shapira Berman: "I think that this will be the tragedy for the coming generations. Not the missiles, but the tremendous mass of people who feel that they have been abandoned. That is the experience."

Recalling the home that was destroyed

According to Gavrieli Rahabi, the treatment unit is not yet profoundly aware of what the long-term impact will be on the spirit and behavior of the returning hostages. "Although there is some degree of experience in treating released captives, in this case it occurred in the middle of a brutal massacre. Everything happened to these civilians inside their own homes, on a Shabbat morning, when they were completely exposed. The youngsters who were celebrating at the Nova music festival, many of whom were under the influence of various substances at the time; young people who saw indescribable atrocities in front of their very eyes, they saw their friends being shot, butchered and abused. This is an intense degree of shock. To date, we have experienced nothing on a comparable scale to this. It is completely unprecedented."

Each hostage bears a different experience from their period of captivity. Prof. Shapira Berman: "Some of the hostages were abducted after suffering injuries. Some of them were completely alone. Some of them were abused and hit by their captors while others suffered no physical abuse. There are children who were abducted together with their parents and those who were taken on their own. There are children who told of how they were badly beaten and were tied up throughout their time in captivity.

"There are children who saw a relative being murdered in front of their very eyes prior to being abducted. Some were abducted during the very early stages of the October 7 attack and so were less exposed to the savage scenes of barbaric violence. There are children who were held in tunnels and those who were held in houses above ground.

"All of these factors have a direct and intense impact on the depth of the trauma and the chances of recovery. There are children who grew up with a strong sense of mental fortitude, and there are children who had already experienced trauma in their past, for example with a parent who had been sick, or those who had coped with their parents' divorce in the year preceding their captivity."

Gavrieli Rahabi: "There were hostages who were kept in total darkness and those who did have access to light. Some people knew who their captors were and others were kept in houses without knowing who was guarding them on the other side of the wall. There was one woman, who was abducted together with her children, and the first thing that happened to her when she understood that they were being taken into Gaza was a total 'shutdown' of all her mental activity. She entered into a totally automatic survival mode. All she could think about was how to ensure that the children remained quiet, how to take care of them, how to communicate with the terrorists. In contrast, there was one family that incorporated a number of generations who were held together in captivity, and they were totally convinced that they would survive and would be released."

According to Gavrieli Rahabi: the main common denominator among all the captives was the fear of the IDF shelling or the concern that Israel would attempt to rescue them – and then the terrorists would kill them in response. "Many of them came back to talk of a terrible fear that the terrorists, even the more 'affable' ones, might hear that a friend or relative of theirs had been killed in the bombing, and then would take it out on them in a fit of rage. One of the mothers recounted that each time she heard a rifle being cocked, her heart almost stopped beating and she was sure that 'that's it, they are going to kill us'."

According to the expert therapists, many captives returned home in a state of emotional numbness, which then gradually thaws out over time. "One of the therapists told me that she has a constant humming sound in her head," Gavrieli Rahabi describes. "When I asked her what does that humming include? she says: 'Those are my conversations with the terrorists'."

According to the psychologists, after the feelings of joy and relief that accompany the act of returning home from captivity, all the hostages were in a state of shock at what they then saw here in Israel. "People could simply not believe what they saw. Israeli society torn apart – disputes, arguments, responses of a severe lack of empathy and estrangement. Many of those who succeeded in returning from Gaza came back but have no home," says Gavrieli Rahabi.

"One of our patients was preparing for the meeting and considering what to wear, and then she remembered, 'Ah, I don't have that particular shirt anymore. I don't have anything. My house burned down, I have no photos and no books. I used to be a person who took good care of herself, and now, all of a sudden I am going around collecting donations.' Everybody feels that they are living on borrowed time. They are concerned that it won't take long for people to forget them. They have come back to face existential and survivalist anxieties."

Nightmares recur at nights

"Two types of medication kept the hostages going during their period in captivity – love and caring for others," says Prof. Merav Roth. "They managed to hold on for the sake of their loved ones. There is a secret alliance that exists between the people here and the hostages being held in Gaza, and that is the strongest bond that keeps them going. Not the quarter of a slice of pitta bread a day, but the knowledge that there is somebody waiting for them back home in Israel. That is something extremely touching and heartwarming to learn about the human race, and I am committed to that alliance.

"Our patients are still at the core of the trauma. They are forced to contend not only with the captivity, but also the more acute challenges, each of which in regular times is extremely rare. The murder of a husband or a relative, been uprooted from your home, the loss of property, the inability to return to work. All the various aspects of their own personal identity – address, family structure, profession – have now all disappeared. Their entire identity has been broken and smashed into pieces. They have come back to an entirely different world and are experiencing a situation in which the reality surrounding them is completely strange to them. Therefore, first and foremost we are earnestly attempting to gradually reconstruct the broken mirror of their identity. To help them cope with a life that has disappeared.

Many of those returning from captivity have family members who are still being held hostage in Gaza, and in such a situation – without any firm ground under their feet – they have absolutely no ability to begin the process of recovery.

"They are currently busy channeling all their energies into an effort to release their loved ones," continues Prof. Roth. "The mothers are holding on for the children. There was one daughter whom I accompanied to the meeting with her mother who had been released from captivity. When they arrived at the border crossing point and were reunited – she immediately asked, "Where is dad?" The question was answered by a deafening silence. A silence that I will never be able to forget. For 50 days the daughter had been waiting to speak with her mother, for 50 days the mother had been waiting to hug her husband, who had been murdered, and then to hear her daughter. And at that moment they were unable to speak.

"Another mother who was held hostage together with her son is now having to contend with his questions on a daily basis, such as 'Will dad come back when I am old?' 'Is dad already dead?' This is a totally crazy situation."

During her treatment, one of the women hostages recounted that while in captivity, at night she was only able to fall asleep after she would recite and commit to memory the words of all the Hebrew songs she knew. In the morning, which were the hardest hours of the day for her, it took her time to tell herself 'I am a hostage. That is the truth of the situation. It is no dream.' Even now, when she is back at home in Israel, the mornings are the most difficult. She is pent up with anger at what happened. She came back to discover that her best friends and some of her relatives, are no longer with us. That, in essence, she is now alone.

"There are freed captives who have returned, and their families, who managed to keep it together as long as they were fighting for the return of their loved ones, have now collapsed. That is the face of trauma that simply does not end."

Prof. Shapira Berman agrees: many of the children who returned from captivity in Gaza were there with mothers who had lost a partner or one of their other children – not to mention the fact that they underwent a particularly nerve racking experience in captivity. Now they must also contend with the post-trauma of their children in addition to their own. Some of the mothers are still active members of the Hostages and Missing Families Forum, and the state of the families is getting worse day by day.

"I hear people cursing the hostage families and I simply cannot understand how we have become so inhuman and heartless. How is this possible? There is also a growing phenomenon of gaslighting with government ministers leveling accusations and hurling threats at them. I work with the families and they know that their children are now slowly dying in the tunnels in Gaza. Who really expects them to sit and stay quiet?

"In this context, the term 'enemy' has now become a word that is too readily brandished and this just adds to the ongoing breakdown of the families. It is incredibly insulting, and I don't know how they will be able to return to society afterwards."

Q: And what happens to the children who have returned? What are they experiencing?

Prof. Shapira Berman: "When children suffer distress that they are unable to withstand we will soon be able to observe regression. There are children who have gone back to wetting their bed at nights. Not only among the hostages. We are witnessing children with outbreaks of rage and separation anxiety. Their basic sense of trust in the world has been undermined. They have nightmares. Dreams of people they left back in captivity. Concentration difficulties. Difficulty in adhering to set frameworks and boundaries as in captivity everything was prohibited. Even crying. There was no definition there of what is permitted – only what is prohibited.

"They show clear signs of sadness, silence and withdrawal. There is considerable preoccupation with 'good guys,' 'bad guys,' 'the strong,' 'the weak,', 'winners' and 'losers.' They ask themselves if this might happen to them again? Why were we abducted and why did they not murder us? They are asking extremely frightening questions. The encounter with chance and the unpredictability of life is a scary ordeal at any age, and when you are only a child your experience of this phenomenon is that much harder."

Over the course of the last year, a special study has been conducted at the Schneider Children's Medical Center in Petach Tiqwa, as part of the treatment of 19 children released from captivity. The study, which was led by a multi-disciplinary professional team at the center, and whose results were published in the prestigious international scientific journal Acta Paediatrica, revealed that the patients suffered from symptoms of significant weight loss coupled with psychological trauma, in addition to complications resulting from extremely poor hygiene, wounds and infections that had been incurred during their captivity.

"Besides the decline in their physical state of health, the most worrying aspects that we came across as medical staff were the mental aspects," states Dr. Noa Ziv, a senior physician at the medical center and one of the principal investigators of this study. "We discovered that all the patients had been forcibly taken from their homes. Some 24 out of 26 patients were witness to either the murder or abduction of other family members during the massacre. They all provided indications of the psychological terror that they had been subjected to, with various strategies of psychological warfare – including isolation, terrorization, limiting their supply of food and water, and psychological abuse.

"On admission for treatment at the unit, all the younger children (less than seven years old) displayed a timid behavior pattern, some of them suffered from recurring nightmares. In addition, some of the children had been trained to speak in a low whisper and it was only after their admission to our unit that they gradually began to resume their normal volume of speech."

In order to illustrate the tremendous amount of work that still awaits the therapists, Gavrieli Rahabi offers us a chilling image: "The pace of treatment is akin to using a drop of water to wet the lips of a man who has not eaten for months."

And she brings an example to highlight this: "One of the patients did not cry after returning from captivity, as she was busy trying to function. It was only when she was present at a chance event in which they spoke about a relative of hers who had passed away many years previously that she began to cry for the first time. I asked her why this particular incident had triggered the tears, and she replied: 'Because that relative died a good death. With all his family surrounding him.' When that particular woman came home from captivity, they wanted to tell her how her husband had been murdered, but she begged them not to tell her. She currently needs to be in a state of not knowing to serve as a 'psychological bullet-proof vest' to protect her. This is what working with trauma is like. Slowly. This is a situation in which the oxygen froze inside the cells, and we now need to thaw it out slowly but surely."

According to Gavrieli Rahabi, the entire State of Israel is currently in a state of abstract trauma. "I use this term on purpose. Just as we have second generation Holocaust survivors and a second generation of those who underwent the Yom Kippur War, we now have a whole section of the population that has been severely affected by the trauma of October 7. We are talking about 200–300 thousand women, men and children who are suffering from trauma. We have an entire society here that requires rehabilitation. We may have heard numerous atrocities and horrors that people experienced and witnessed, but we fully understand that there are still plenty of difficult issues that will only come to the surface later on.

"As far as trauma treatment is concerned, we are talking about a decade ahead, assuming that everything comes to a conclusion now and that we are actually able to begin the recovery process. It is important to understand that there are houses that were destroyed that need to be rebuilt, but we also need to rebuild and restore the psychological home that has been destroyed."

Full of survivor's guilt

We contacted Prof. Judith Lewis Herman, now 82 years-old, at her home in the US, with a request to share with Israel Hayom some of the considerable experience she has accumulated over the years. Lewis Herman believes that although the trauma from October 7 and the captivity of women and children is clearly something highly unusual, extreme and ongoing – the therapists will be able to use the existing knowhow in this field.

"It is possible to attain a full recovery, but above all it requires social support and a safe and stable environment," stresses Prof. Lewis Herman. "If the victims are isolated and still at risk then recovery is not really possible. This is something we are familiar with from war zones, those who are subject to real danger wherever they go or escape to."

According to Lewis Herman, in order to be able to understand how to treat captivity-induced trauma, it is necessary to understand its long-term destructive impact on an individual's mind. "During captivity, a relationship of domination exists between the captor and the hostage. In captivity, the attacker is the most important figure in the victim's life. The captor's main objective is to subdue the captive by gaining control over all aspects of his life.

"As part of a famous large-scale study published by Amnesty International in 1973 on methods of torture and coercion, it emerged that terrorist organizations and people traffickers, involved in selling people and children for use in the pornography industry around the world, use the same tactics as in captivity along with the same methods of abuse."

Lewis Herman explains that the use of violence is one of these techniques. "What we are dealing with here is the systematic sowing of fear and feeling of helplessness, alongside the constant threat of death or mortally wounding the victims. We can then add to this the forced enforcement of capricious rules, and punishments alongside the granting of rewards are designed to cause the captive not only to fear death or the captor, but also to be grateful for the fact that the captor has mercy on them and allows them to live. Additional methods are isolation and erasing an individual's identity – such as changing their name or their attire and pressuring them to convert to a different religion."

According to Lewis Herman, in order to survive during captivity, the victims cling to another consciousness, what is referred to in the professional jargon as 'dissociation'. "They willfully suppress thoughts, reduce their mental experience – for example, they refrain from remembering their loved ones as this would be much too painful. They also refrain from the thought of the future, as this generates longing and hope that then give rise to disappointment and desperation. Even the sense of time changes in captivity. Erasing the future and the past results in a sense of an endless present. A present that is an ongoing nightmare. The psychological tools that support survival during captivity are likely to accompany the victims even after their release, possibly even continuing to haunt them for decades afterwards."

Despite the destructive psychological implications of the methods used in coercion, Prof. Lewis Herman is convinced that it is possible to attain a full recovery. "It is by no means a rapid process, there is no prescription for a medication that you can take and then everything instantly fades away, but it always surprises me to see how even children who have grown up in the most terrifying, threatening and abusive environments, are somehow able to preserve a sense of fairness and a healthy ability to develop relationships.

"I had patients who didn't have a single soul in the world to trust, apart from their pet. The mental resilience that you see in their survival is truly inspiring. Anybody who has grown up or been exposed to such threatening circumstances, who has seen the worst things possible that humanity is capable of doing – must be surrounded by people who represent the best values of humanity. People who seek to treat and cure."

Lewis Herman explains that on their way to recovery, many survivors seek to help others and to raise awareness. "The renowned American psychiatrist, Robert Jay Lifton, who studied the psychological survival of victims who had endured extreme violence, calls this the 'survivors' mission.' Whoever has a 'survivor's mission' will be able to make a good recovery."

Q: What can the state, and we as society, do to help the returning hostages get better?

Lewis Herman: "This must begin with an effort by the government. It needs to place the return of the hostages, their safety and their ensuing treatment at the top of its priority list. It is also imperative to establish a support system that is capable of listening to their stories, the true reality of their experience. We cannot expect the hostages to be heroes and to live according to the ideals of heroism, and it is definitely wrong to accuse them or shame them for what happened to them or the manner in which they survived. The hostages are full of survivor's guilt. 'Why did I survive while my sister was murdered?' Of course, there is no answer to such questions. It has nothing to do with what the hostages did. The environment that receives the hostages after their release must celebrate their return – and provide them with all the support they need."

One of the most effective treatment methods, according to Lewis Herman, is the use of support groups. Together with a colleague, at Cambridge University, she wrote Group Trauma Treatment in Early Recovery, a handbook for running support groups for people recovering from post-trauma.

"Support groups and self-help groups for Vietnam veterans were found to be extremely effective," she determines during the interview. "In these groups, the members understand each other, they can speak about all the issues of which they are either ashamed or afraid. These are issues that might not be understood or possibly even criticized by people who have not been there. Such victims are on occasions accused of 'not having been sufficiently brave.'

"In the groups, they are able to share their stories, understand each other, and find solace in that. The support groups have also been found to have a successfully therapeutic effect on women who have been subject to abuse during childhood. At the hospital in the US, we ran a large number of support groups for trauma survivors, as they have been proven to be extremely uplifting and energizing, they break down the barriers of isolation, enabling the provision of support and cure. I am sure that this can be of great help also in the current trauma that Israel is facing."

The post The other war: Taking captivity out of the hostages appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.

As they recount their experiences, their words seep into our consciousness. The feelings are seared into our bodies. Through their stories, we can momentarily enter their captivity. We can feel the blood freeze in terror for a split second. We can be in the depths of shock. We can taste the sand. We can inhale the dust and mold. We can smell the horror and suffocation. We can also witness the strength of spirit beyond the realm of normal human experience. We marvel at their courage, survival instincts, fighting spirit, and faith. Their bravery at every moment, from the time of their abduction to the present – in the lives they are trying to build in this insane reality.

In the end, it's the small, simple things we take for granted: morning coffee, the quiet on the balcony, routine, freedom. "Going to the bathroom freely without asking permission, showering when you're sweaty, leaving the house, simply opening the door – and going out." These are the moments Shlomi and Almog now savor and appreciate so much.

After 246 days in Hamas captivity in Gaza, after the inferno and torture, after the fear of death was an inseparable part of the air they breathed, after severe humiliation, "creative" punishments, deceptive "rewards," after severe violence, wounds, pain, and longing, the two tell their story.

"What really hit hardwas that even in the shower, even in the bathroom, you had to get permission and also hope they'll agree," says Shlomi Ziv. This is the first time since he was rescued from Hamas captivity along with Almog Meir Jan, Andrey Kozlov, and Noa Argamani in Operation Arnon, that he's sits in front of cameras and sharing. In normal life, he really doesn't like being photographed. The whole setup and public exposure make him feel a bit shy. Nevertheless, he's aware of the immense importance of documentation. "If it's for the world to know what they did to us, what we went through in captivity – I am willing to do it," he says.

"That's what's important – to pass the story on," notes Almog, who's now sitting next to him in front of attorney Susie Ozsinay-Aranya, the documenter from the Government Press Office. "When I came out (of Gaza) and heard that there are people who deny it – like Holocaust denial, I didn't understand how it's possible. I was part of it! Of course I feel a need and also a desire to say 'This happened to me. I experienced it. It's about me.'"

This is one of the main goals of the national documentation project of returnees and families of hostages for the State Archives, a project led by the Government Press Office (GPO) under the leadership of Nitzan Chen, with the support of the National Public Diplomacy Directorate. "This is the 'Yad Vashem' of October 7," says Chen, referring to the national Holocaust memorial and museum. Ozsinay-Aranya add, "So that the whole world will know. So that even our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will know what happened to our people in the worst tragedy since the Holocaust."

As part of the project – which we've been following closely in recent weeks – 25 released hostages of all ages and 21 family members of hostages, many of whom are still in the midst of the horror, share their story of captivity and return to normalcy, from the most terrible and horrifying place where they are denied the most basic human rights – to freedom. Shlomi and Almog, and everyone documented before them – for those are still in the Hamas hell on earth – to illustrate how time is running out and how immediate the danger is. How captivity doesn't let go, even when they're no longer there.

"It's strange to be home"

Shlomi arrives wearing a Nova shirt with the inscription "WE WILL DANCE AGAIN," a silver necklace with the symbol of the struggle to bring back the hostages from the Nova rave on Oct. 7, and another necklace with a dog tag from the Nova community. Almog sits next to him, and they both attach the microphone to their shirts. Almog's new tattoo – designed like a newspaper page documenting their heroic rescue – peeks out from under his pants.

On Shlomi's hand is a tattoo documenting his first encounter with terror, in 2002, on in Hebron. At the top is the inscription PTSD, revealing another part of the inner strength that helped him cope with the trauma of captivity. "So, how does Shlomi look on camera? Handsome?" Almog asks jokingly and winks at his good friend. As in captivity, even now Almog manages to lighten the atmosphere and give those around him a moment to breathe. "I need a moment of quiet," requests the sound technician, and Susie  briefs them: "We usually start the testimonials with each person introducing themselves."

"I'm Shlomi Ziv. 41 years old. I was in Hamas captivity for 246 days."

"I'm Almog Meir Jan. 22 years old. I was kidnapped from the Nova party. I was in Hamas captivity for 246 days and was rescued with Shlomi and Andrey."

"How is it to be home?" Susie asks, and both respond: "Strange."

"Everything has changed," Almog shares. "People's attitudes, how they look at you on the street. Everything you do represents something. I'm happy that I can represent something so big, and even happier that I'm here, but it's not as if I am back and everything is the same," and Shlomi adds, "That's what's hard for me. It's a completely different life."

Shlomi arrived at that fateful party as a security guard on Thursday already. For the pre-party. There, in the command post, he stayed even when everyone started to pack up and flee because "part of security is that you have to go last." Only when shots were fired in his direction and "someone shouted 'They're coming! They're coming!' – we started running," he recalls. "Everyone who was there. I ran through the entire parking lot, westward – towards Gaza. I hid in a bush. I heard gunfire, and someone came running and shouted 'The terrorist is coming.' I thought to myself – either I run, or I stay. I decided to stay. I said – either the terrorist takes me, or the story ends. He saw me, called me, and didn't shoot. I understood I was going towards Gaza. I thought about what I could do now to get out of the situation, but I realized that there's nothing I could do."

At this stage, Shlomi and the terrorist see Andrey, who also worked as a security guard at the party, coming running from nowhere. "The terrorist told me 'Call him.' I call Andrey, he comes to us, and we sit on the ground and wait. The terrorist asks me if I can drive, and it's running through my head, what do I answer him now? Andrey even thought the terrorists was an IDF soldier. Only in the car did he understand. I looked at him and said 'It's not what you think. Understand the situation.' I got behind the wheel. Andrey sat next to me and the terrorist directed us to Gaza."

"Through looks, in whispers"

Even here, in front of the cameras, they give each other strength. The special bond formed between them is stronger than words. A hand resting momentarily on a knee. A glance. A smile. A wink. The humor. The understanding that only those who were there and survived countless encounters with death together can have. In retrospect, Andrey Kozlov said in a testimony he gave a few weeks before them that "every decision we made was the right decision – but we couldn't have known it at the time."

Shlomi and Almog can relate to this. There was a very difficult event – the house where the three of them were staying was under IDF bombardment. Shlomi, Almog, and Andrey were still chained, completely helpless. The terrorist guarding them was reciting chapters from the Quran and wouldn't allow them to escape. "Andrey said the terrorist really wanted to be a shahid (martyr)," Susie tells them.

"It was a very difficult day for all of us," Shlomi agrees. "The homeowner came in and said in Arabic to the guards 'Captain so-and-so called'. I hear 'Captain' and I understand it's Israeli intelligence saying to leave the house – because they're going to bomb now. Within four minutes, there wasn't a single person in the neighborhood. You hear the women and children taking themselves and fleeing. In the house too, except for one who stayed with us – all the captors evacuated and we were left there chained, hearing the planes in the sky, and the one guarding us standing with a knife in his hand, because Andrey wanted to go out."

Almog looks at Shlomi and continues his thought: "We thought about what to do. Maybe we should jump him and escape."

Shlomi: "Physically we could have done it, but... Okay, we go outside and then what? They see us with chains, they understand exactly who we are. It's not like we're completely free now." In these terrifying moments, the friends communicated with each other "through looks, in whispers." They understood they had no way to escape the situation. "We understood there was no option to escape, that the most important thing was to stay together," says Shlomi. "At every stage we chose what to do – we checked all the chances, all the possibilities, and came to the conclusion that it wasn't worth it. You can't risk your life on something you plan in a minute and a half."

"We were literally with mattresses on top of us, so shrapnel wouldn't fall on us," Almog says. "We tried to protect ourselves as much as we could," adds Shlomi, and Almog seems to continue his words: "Mostly we prayed and started to say goodbye. You hear the planes and then sss... the whistles." Shlomi shivers. "It was one of the scariest days," he says. Even after the first hostage return deal ended, the three experienced a difficult period "of missiles and bombardments," Almog recalls. "We were very close to the fire. We heard gunshots all night." And Shlomi adds: "Close explosions that shook the entire building."

Thus, terrified, with mattresses barely shielding their bodies, they were etched into the collective memory in the stunning footage from the IDF soldiers' GoPro cameras when they found them. Throughout their captivity, they hoped they would be rescued, but also feared it. "We understood there was a better chance of coming out alive in a deal," says Almog. "We thought a lot about freedom," describes Shlomi, "we heard about the three who tried to escape and were accidentally shot by the IDF. All this makes you think and fear taking the next step."

Almog: "When you think about trying to get out, you take into account that the IDF is close and there will be gunshots and explosions. Our captors also knew that the IDF was approaching, and then it goes through your mind – Will they shoot us, or will they tell us 'go hide' while they fight? It's a situation we don't want to enter, because we don't want our soldiers to risk themselves for us – and we didn't want to risk ourselves either."

Shlomi: "The biggest fear was that they would kill us. They'd say, 'If the soldiers come here, then tak-tak-tak' [implying being executed]. They also told us to our faces that if they come to rescue us, they'll kill us. That if the IDF manages to reach us, they'll managed to bring back only bodies."

Alongside the fears, the three hostages never stopped imagining scenarios and planning how they would act in every situation. After the first deal, they thought with concern, "They released the women, could it be that they'll forget about us? How long will it take until the next phase? How many years? You hear from them that there are talks about a deal on the table," says Almog. "It gives you strength and hope," adds Shlomi, "and then a week later they announce - no deal, and all the time they tell you 'Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu doesn't want, that's also what's written in Al-Jazeera'." Almog: "They tell us – 'They don't want you, they don't care about bringing you back alive'."

Shlomi: "The biggest fear was that they would kill us. They'd say, 'If the soldiers come here, then tak-tak-tak' [implying being executed]. They also told us to our faces that if they come to rescue us, they'll kill us. That if the IDF manages to reach us, they'll managed to bring back only bodies."

What kept them hopeful was also the strong internal knowledge that they would return home, even if it could take many years. "I thought I was going to be there for at least two years," says Shlomi. Almog: "I was very optimistic that we'd return home, but it was hard to maintain the optimism." Shlomi: "Every time there was something on the table I thought maybe they'd surprise us, and then you're disappointed again," and Almog completes his words: "But the faith was very strong in us. We always believed we'd return home. We planned for the day after. I imagined myself already at home. What I'm doing, what I'm fixing, where I'm traveling, I put myself in the mode that I'm coming back."

The dreams, which have disappeared for Almog since returning, also protected them in captivity. "The good dreams," Shlomi emphasizes. "You don't have a picture you can look at. You're afraid of forgetting the faces. There were moments when I'd say 'Wow, I hope I don't forget what Mom looks like, what my wife looks like...' and then when you dream – it fills you up, it gives you a good boost."

"When you miss someone, the only thing you have is thoughts, memory, imagination," adds Almog. "If we dreamed that we saw our family, I would tell him (Shlomi) 'Wow, I saw my mom, I saw my dad'."

"The project of life and death"

"Beyond the historical documentation – the big picture is important. The puzzle is coming together as we hear more testimonies," says Nitzan Chen, director of the GPO, which, as mentioned, is leading the project of documenting the returnees and families of hostages for the Israel State Archives with the support of the National Public Diplomacy Directorate. "And beyond that, we want there to be a current and international impact," he stresses.The GPO created, from all the testimonies, a difficult-to-watch video containing the essence of the evil and horror experienced by the hostages who returned; a video that was screened on Holocaust Remembrance Day for representatives of international media and diplomacy and stirred many echoes. "We approached the project with a mission," says Susie, "but you can't be mission-oriented in such an event. It's hard to hear all the horrors and not cry with them during the filming. This is essentially the state – the establishment crying with them. It's also challenging, because when you come to a family whose world has been destroyed and they blame the government – and for many we are state employees – we remind them 'We are here for you. For your benefit. To make you story live in posterity'."

As part of accompanying the project, we were exposed to the unique details of the many and varied modes of captivity experienced by the hostages, but also to coping methods and experiences common to the survivors. For example, the fear of IDF bombings, the constant fear of the unpredictable reaction of the terrorists as a result of the intense fighting – which is repeated in many of the testimonies of those who returned from captivity.

"From many hostages we heard that their biggest fear was to be left alone," says Michal Bardugo, who along with Susie and Adiya Imri Orr, documents, investigates, and leads the project. Many of the returnees shared their immense difficulty when they were released and left hostages behind. "For the returnees – the most important project is the project of life and death. They took with them the responsibility for the soul of those they left behind," says Susie.

 The fear of rape, sexual assault, and cases of sexual abuse also came up in many of the testimonies. "There was a family that shared how they feared for one of the daughters," Susie recounts. "Every little glance from the kidnappers would drive them crazy. There was constant verbal harassment. One of the kidnappers said he wanted to marry the girl, and that at her age, in their culture, girls are already married. The girl herself pretended to be asleep most of the time and minimized speech and communication with the kidnappers. There were female hostages who reported being touched in intimate areas while being dragged to the bathroom or for checks. There were female hostages who met other female hostages who had been sexually abused under threats.

"Many of the hostages talked about the 'chip check'. Hostages who were in houses, with families, underwent a physical examination when a Hamas or Palestinian Islamic Jihad terrorist would arrive – to verify that they didn't have a chip that the IDF had implanted in them in case they were kidnapped. They demanded they remove clothes and patted them down on their body."

Many hostages spoke to the documenters about the violent and frightening entry into Gaza. "They recounted how they were beaten, robbed of their jewelry. They had earrings torn from their ears. They shared how they saw the Gazan mob with toys, furniture, sweets, televisions, bicycles, and children's ride-on toys stolen from the kibbutzim. They saw this and couldn't believe it. They thought it was a hallucination. Many described how upon entering Gaza, the mob began to attack them, how they feared a lynching and how the terrorists tried to keep them away from the Gazans.

"The abductors' leader was always 'Mohammed'. One of the female hostages told how she made up names for each of them. There was one who liked to sing, so she called him 'The Nightingale'. The one who cooked was called 'The Chef' or 'The Cook'. The one who was scary or tended to threaten with a weapon was called 'The Devil'. In the midst of all the horrors – there were also moments when the kidnappers revealed "positive" sides. Chen Goldstein, for example, recounts how the family members who guarded her and her three children – shielded them with their bodies every time there were explosions or tremors. How they told them, "If we die – we die together".

Alongside few moments of compassion were many unbearable cases of abuse, of terrible treatment and humiliations. "It's meeting human evil in the eyes of the captors," says Susie.

Shlomi, Ziv, and Andrey describe in their testimony horrific tortures, humiliations, and a constant barrage of mental abuse. "There were punches, kicks in the stomach out of anger," Shlomi describes. "He (the terrorist) didn't know how to control his feelings. He had fits of rage. There was also verbal violence. He said we were insects, cockroaches, that we need to be sprayed, that we're bloodthirsty." Shlomi recalls "that we are nothing and worthless. That in another situation we wouldn't be here anymore. And we would listen and wound't answer."

Almog: "This is the process we went through there. This is the resilience. To detach yourself from the situation, to swallow your pride hard and understand that it's not important to answer him. What do I care what he thinks of me."

Shlomi: "There were times we confronted them," and Almog nods, adding, "But we paid a heavy price for it. You get punished. You go through days of severe humiliations, threats – 'At night I'll kill you. I'll take you down to the tunnels.'" Shlomi: "There was a lot of psychological warfare. Sometimes they would starve us, sometimes prevent us from going to the bathroom. He would really humiliate you and you're helpless." When Shlomi describes these matters, Almog immediately finds an example: "They allow you to shower once every two weeks. You're in an uncomfortable situation with yourself, feeling unhygienic, and they come in the morning with a spray of perfume, pass by you and say 'Wow, what a stench.'"

Many hostages spoke to the documenters about the violent and frightening entry into Gaza. "They recounted how they were beaten, robbed of their jewelry. They had earrings torn from their ears. They shared how they saw the Gazan mob with toys, furniture, sweets, televisions, bicycles, and children's ride-on toys stolen from the kibbutzim. They saw this and couldn't believe it. They thought it was a hallucination. Many described how upon entering Gaza, the mob began to attack them, how they feared a lynching and how the terrorists tried to keep them away from the Gazans.

The main captor, the homeowner who was later revealed to be an Al-Jazeera reporter, also had sadistic punishments he invented and inflicted on them without context. "He was 'creative,' this Mohammed. He would tie our hands tightly behind our back, or put a pencil or piece of wood inside our mouth between our teeth so that our lips would go back like this, strongly – for two hours. He ties the pencil, and you can't even swallow your saliva. We had cuts from it," Shlomi describes. "I would bang my face at him 'Have mercy on me,'" says Almog and demonstrates with a smile. "Let's say, he didn't like us walking in the house. If he saw one of us standing – suddenly 'Okay, you stood? No problem. I want you to sit for a week now. If you're going to the bathroom – crawl. I don't want you to stand.'"

Shlomi: "But we would have break after four days. We were the best we could be. Winning him over by being good children." Almog: "Dying to give him a punch, but swallowing it. Disconnecting the emotion." Shlomi: "Putting the ego aside."

As part of the deception meant to create total control, alongside the punishments the captor invented, "rewards" also came randomly and unpredictably. "You can't expect from the person what he'll do on that day. In the morning he would wake up in a mood 'Don't talk, I don't want to hear you.' Suddenly in the afternoon he was nicer: 'Okay, come on, you want? Let's watch a movie ('Speed').' And after five minutes: 'What, not good for you? You're making a face at the movie? Come on, get out. No more movies. That's it,'" Shlomi recounts.

Almog leans closer to Shlomi, puts two fingers to his temple and demonstrates: "There were situations where he just came to you with a gun and deliberated out loud: 'Kill you? Not kill you?'"

"Playing charades"

They weren't allowed to cry, even when it hurt or was scary. They constantly shouted at the children "Uskut" (be quiet). Everyone who was held captive underground talked about the sand that got everywhere, into clothes, under fingernails, into food, into breathing. "One of the older female hostages described how she remained mostly alone locked in an apartment," Susie recounts. "That she managed to develop a relationship with the animals around her. She noticed, for example, that the cats don't prey on the mice."

The severe hunger was one of the prominent issues in captivity, along with longing for family and Israel, but also for human company, to "hear Hebrew," as the project leaders explain. "The thing that was most significant for many of them was when they were transferred from the Red Cross to IDF representatives in Egypt – and suddenly heard Hebrew."

Time also becomes an enemy in captivity. Time that doesn't move, when there's always terror about the next moment. "Hours upon hours with nothing to do," many returned hostages described. "The adults who were together in captivity decided, for example, to play social games. They would play 'countries and cities'. They would decide to talk about, say, details in history. Take a topic and start analyzing it by countries. Or they would play charades to pass the time. For some of the children, they brought cards or papers and pencils so they could draw, but didn't allow them to take the drawings with them."

Many of the returnees talked about the psychological warfare. "All the time someone is sitting and watching you. Examining you. Wanting to know what you're thinking about. Most of them said that at some point they would place their weapon next to them – cocked," says Susie.

"Many of the hostages talked about the 'chip check'. Hostages who were in houses, with families, underwent a physical examination when a Hamas or Palestinian Islamic Jihad terrorist would arrive – to verify that they didn't have a chip that the IDF had implanted in them in case they were kidnapped. They demanded they remove clothes and patted them down on their body."

All the hostages who returned in the deal shared that they weren't afraid in the tunnels as much as during their emergence from the tunnels for the handover to the Red Cross. "These were the scariest moments, when they shook their car and again many Gazans swarmed them," Susie recounts. The exposure to daylight, when leaving the tunnels, was also difficult for the survivors. "You're blinded. Can't handle the light."

"At this stage they started bumpting onto the car, to get excited, to hit me in the head, guys from behind, fists, and I'm realizing an arena with stands packed with people, children, and women, and babies, and men," one of the women documented in the chilling advocacy video produced by the GPO describes – "to show the horrors that will be etched in international consciousness," says Chen. Another hostage describes: "The civilians were hitting, they made a demonstration as if I'm in the middle, and many people who were there hit me. All the men spitting and shooting and the women in the windows rejoicing."

There are hostages who returned in a very difficult mental state and currently have no ability to give testimony. "They sank into a terrible depression. With an inability to come into contact with the outside world. People who shut themselves off. Cases of suicidal thoughts, nightmares, extreme difficulty returning to routine. There are those who can't get out of bed," says Susie.

Eitan Yahalomi, the 9-year-old boy, describes how he was held alone, and the kidnappers showed him difficult videos of terrorists killing people. Another female hostage describes how one of the terrorists shouted at her that she was a murderer and intentionally hurt her. "Seven, eight terrorists entered, three with knives, one with a Kalashnikov and two more – one with a shovel... The entrance (to the tunnel) is terrifying as hell. It's the shock of your life. You see it on TV and suddenly in reality, and you can't believe it's in reality. And then they transferred me to a sort of prison with a few more hostages, like a dog underground."

Another female hostage describes: "There were hostages who suffered from nightmares at night, suddenly waking up screaming, suddenly developing a fever. There was a lice outbreak, I've never seen such big lice in my life. Predatory animals." Another hostage recounted: "I'm lying on a stretcher on the floor. They're making scary faces at me. Baring their teeth. Making this movement with their finger," he demonstrates a slitting motion across the throat.

"Our added value," Chen emphasizes, "is that those giving testimony know that they are for future generations, so they allow themselves to tell things they won't say on commercial and public television. For example, cases of sexual violence."

One of the female hostages describes, for instance, how they had to ask permission to enter the bathroom and also to exit. That the terrorists could enter the bathroom even during shower time whenever they wanted. Another female hostage describes multiple intrusive touches to intimate areas accompanied by curses, humiliations, and threats.

Another female hostage described: "The kidnapper approached her (one of the hostages), caressed her, took advantage of the moment to grope. It's so despicable when it's with a weapon pressed to the temple, and he's touching her in all parts of her body." Another hostage describes how she was dehydrated and didn't have the strength to stand or go to the bathroom. "You're helpless, can't move your body. Even if I wanted to resist in this situation, I can't. You're nothing and worthless and he really believes you're nothing and worthless. At every moment they wanted to break you spiritually, mentally, emotionally – in every possible way."

"The role of Avinatan"

"I am Ditza Or. There are many things I've been in my life, but since Simchat Torah, I am the mother of Avinatan Or."

Ditza sits in front of Susie, knowing that every word she says has deep meaning. That her pain and the disaster that struck her family have a part in the history being written now. We are accompanying the documentation – which is part of a collection of testimonies from family members of hostages and those who were held captive. In this part of the project, Liora Argamani was also documented while her daughter Noa, Avinatan's partner, was still in captivity. "Avinatan was kidnapped when he was 30 and turned 31 in captivity. He is the second of seven children," the mother says about her Avinatan: "He is dominant but quiet. Quiet with a powerful presence." She then shares the difficulty of talking about the day of the kidnapping itself. "It's still not deciphered for me. Still locked."

"The last time I met Avinatan was on the first day of Sukkot. His role was to build the sukkah and dismantle it at the end of the holiday. When the war started, many neighbors offered to dismantle it for me. After three months, our officer said 'That's it, it's time to dismantle.' It was very difficult. You expect Avinatan to come and do it."

Before the documentation, Ditza had managed to meet – for the first time – with Noa. She doesn't share details she heard from her about the captivity, "that's hers." She does mention that "Avinatan had an opportunity to escape, but he didn't abandon Noa. That's who he is. He's the type who protects. If there was a reality where he escaped and they caught Noa, he couldn't have continued." Operation Arnon, in which Argamani was also rescued, planted a lot of hope in Ditza. "I believe it's possible."

"I had the chance to meet with Liora Argamani a few times. The last time at Ichilov Hospital. I told her about the meeting with Noa. That she has an amazing daughter, beautiful, incredibly smart, brave-hearted, good. 'You raised an amazing girl...,' I told her.

"From that moment on we (Ditza and Noa) have a very meaningful connection. Something very open, real, deep. It immediately goes to the truth... and we both love him endlessly." At the end of the first meeting between the mother and Noa, Ditza recounts with a smile and shining eyes: "I said in my heart 'Avinatan – I approve.'"

"Each testimony has three parts," says Susie. "We explain to those being documented that we're not looking for headlines. It's not like a TV report. We want to hear from the beginning to the end – who the person is, their background, what life looked like until the moment of kidnapping and how they're recovering since they returned. Every small detail about how they were kidnapped and their stay in captivity. Who they met there. The information gets reviewed by the censors, so often they feel very open to share."

When you hear the testimonies in full, and are exposed to the complete and detailed story, it's hard not to shiver from the abundance of sensations, feelings, and thoughts.

"I'm Doron Katz Asher. 34 years old. Married to Yoni. Mother to a 5-year-old girl and a 3-year-old girl. We were released in the first phase," Doron says at the beginning of the recording. She describes the anxiety that grew as the terrorists roamed Kibbutz Nir Oz and wreaked havoc, recounts how the terrorists who entered the safe room asked her and her mother to remove their jewelry. Her mother had a ring that had been passed down from her great-grandmother's grandmother, a Holocaust survivor. "It was a ring from Germany from generations back with black diamonds. When he asked for the ring I said: 'Mom, give it. They have a gun.'"

Later, Doron describes the violent kidnapping. "I felt I was injured. We sat in the wagon. I shouted 'I'm injured'. The tractor stopped. The Israeli hostages took my daughters, got off the wagon and ran into the field. I was injured and found myself on the tractor alone with my mother, she was still sitting... I brought her closer to me and realized she had been murdered. She was in her last breaths. I tried to find a place to put her head. I laid her down, hugged her and realized I had to get down. I was afraid they would separate me from the girls. I got off the wagon, started to realize I was going to lose consciousness."

The unbearable moments when Doron realizes she has lost her mother, Efrat Katz, 68, and she must find her children – are just chilling. Doron describes how Sharon Cunio came to take her to the girls until more terrorists arrived and forced them to get up and board another tractor.

"I started to sink. We pass a burning tank on fire. The entire Gaza fence is breached. Hundreds of civilians, children, shouting, throwing things, and meanwhile I see the terrorist with Raz." Doron shouted "The child!", and the terrorist passed Raz to the tractor. "They transferred us, 11 people, to a small private car. They pushed us on top of each other while I'm bleeding on everyone. We drove deep into the Strip. At high speed. The girls aren't crying."

Over the days that passed, Doron grew stronger and functioned despite the severe pain throughout her body. She asked the captors to bring papers and colors for the girls, so they would have something to do. She taught her younger daughter to write. The captors brought them baby toys from the house, but mostly Doron kept her daughters occupied with imagination games. "I asked them to close their eyes, guess what object I'm holding. The girls made a pillow course. At night the girls slept, I barely did. There were stressful booms and you have nothing to do. On the 16th day they woke us up 'Quickly! Quickly! The IDF called that they're going to bomb the house – we must leave!'"

"They took our identity"

Every released female hostage, every survivor who sits in front of the cameras and in front of the documenters, looks straight ahead bravely and describes the indescribable. The testimony of Chen Goldstein Almog, who was kidnapped from her home in Kfar Aza with three of her children, after her eldest daughter, Yam, and her husband, Nadav, were murdered before her eyes – is also breathtaking.

"In the early morning hours we heard an explosion in the house... we heard light gunfire," she describes. "There was a child crying, but it was relatively quiet. Yam was very scared. You have to understand the low point we reached. Mortal fear that we experienced for the first time. Shock. We were quiet. We were using the bathroom in reusable bags, in boxes. You have to understand the magnitude of the distress... and then we hear screams 'Al-Yahud! Al-Yahud!' We realize they're in the house. They were outside the safe room door. I took the big teddy bear. I understood that they were shooting very quickly. I thought they were riddling us with bullets. I thought if I put the teddy bear on us, it would soften it a bit."

Nadav, the father of the family, tried to protect them. He took a board from one of the beds, stood by the door without a weapon, and was shot immediately. The terrorists also killed Yam during the preparations to leave. "I see that she's shot in the face," Doron describes. "It was a shocking sight. I'm in shock. Stunned. Is this what I'm seeing now? Later, in the frightening and difficult hours of darkness, I force myself not to forget this sight. I didn't throw myself on Nadav. I chose to go with the living. I didn't stay with Nadav and Yam. The terrible understanding was already there."

During one of the transfers between apartments, Chen describes how the kidnappers "brought us traditional clothes. It was very difficult. We got dressed and looked at each other, Agam and I, and started crying. They took our identity. They were fascinated that we wore the hijab. For them it's an honor to a woman. It's royalty."

Chen, like many hostages, describes the immense difficulty involved in the loss of privacy. When at every moment there's someone looking at you and trying to invade your thoughts. "You experience the crazy fighting and try to maintain hope. Optimism. It can't be that they'll give up on us. That they'll forget us like this. There were difficult days of crazy attacks that tore apart my body, my life, my soul. You can't explain what goes through your body in this destruction. We saw the fireballs from Gaza. There were days when I felt I was going to lose my humanity."

In the detailed testimony, Chen also talks about the emotional damage and the time that doesn't pass. "We tried to keep ourselves busy. To play, to write. One of the captors came with a lighter and burned the children's creations. They would go into the children's pockets, check what's there, 'take this out, write only in English' or 'just draw, stop writing in Hebrew.'"

Later they were transferred to a tunnel. There they met other young female hostages, wounded, full of inner strength, who managed despite severe physical injuries to take care of each other. "In the tunnel you always have sand in your mouth. Mold. Lack of air. Very difficult conditions. There's ambiguity and silence. There was already less food. More hunger was felt. The girls slept in cramped conditions. I got a mattress. Four girls sleep on two mattresses. One is injured in the hand and must ensure that no one touches her there. We slept like sardines."

"They're still there," she says painfully. "Our exit was a very painful moment. They thought they were next in line. Occasionally they were allowed to listen to the radio. They pick up Army Radio, Kan 11, Reshet Bet. Every newscast where they didn't say a word about the hostages – it was devastating to us."

"Keep believing"

At the end of the testimony, Susie asks Almog and Shlomi what they would say to the hostages who are still there. "To always keep believing – because it can happen. To be strong like they are until now and to take care of themselves," says Shlomi. "And it's very important for me to say thank you to Arnon Zemora, who lost his life in this operation. It's not taken for granted."

"May his memory be blessed," Shlomi and Almog say together, and Almog adds: "Just as we returned – I hope they will be stronger than us. That they keep the hope alive – it's easy to lose it, but you also need to know where to draw it from. If I could come to them in a dream and tell them something – I would tell them 'It will happen soon.'"

This is how they tell it now, while the event is still unfolding. While the private and collective trauma is still bubbling. They tell – not for today's news, and not just for our ears. They bravely give testimony for the grandchildren of all our great-grandchildren. They share and report – for documentation in the Israel State Archives, for the world's condemnation and eyes – about war crimes. Severe crimes against humanity. Crimes against innocent human beings. Crimes that undermine human existence, of vicious and cruel terror that continues to maintain the October 7 tragedy to this very day.

The post From darkness to light: The shocking testimonies of Hamas-held hostages appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.

In a powerful testament to human resilience, Shlomi Ziv and Almog Meir Jan, two of the hostages rescued from Gaza during the daring Operation Arnon, have spoken out for the first time about their 246-day ordeal in captivity. Their harrowing account is part of a national documentation project spearheaded by the Government Press Office, aimed at preserving the experiences of returned hostages and their families for future generations.

Shlomi Ziv faces the cameras for the first time since his dramatic rescue from Gaza during Operation Arnon, which also freed fellow survivors Almog Meir Jan, Andrey Kozlov, and Noa Argamani.

Ziv has agreed to recount the terrifying details of his 246-day captivity at the hands of Hamas as part of a national documentation project for returned hostages and their families, led by the Government Press Office. "If it means the world will learn the truth about what they did to us, what we endured in captivity – I'm on board," Meir Jan affirmed.

The primary captor overseeing Ziv, Meir Jan, and Kozlov employed what they describe as "creative" punishments. "Let's just say he had an issue with us moving around," Almog recalled. "If he caught one of us standing, he'd suddenly declare: 'Oh, you stood up? Fine. Now I want you sitting for a week. If you need the bathroom – crawl. I don't want to see you on your feet.'" Shlomi added: "But we'd wear him down after about four days. We did our best to comply. We'd win him over by playing the role of obedient children." Almog adds: "We were itching to retaliate, but we suppressed it, detaching ourselves emotionally."

"This is the Yad Vashem of October 7," explained Nitzan Chen, director of the GPO. These testimonies will be preserved for posterity, including in the State Archives.

As part of this ongoing project, which we've been closely following in recent weeks, 25 former hostages of various ages have shared their stories since returning, along with 21 family members of those still in captivity. As they meticulously recount every detail, listeners are momentarily transported into their captivity, feeling a fleeting second of blood-curdling terror, tasting the grit of sand, inhaling the pervasive dust and mold, and sensing the suffocating horror.

Resilience in captivity

We've also witnessed the extraordinary resilience displayed by the hostages during and after their ordeal, as well as the coping mechanisms and shared experiences among the survivors. Many described the terror of nearby IDF strikes and the constant anxiety about their captors' unpredictable reactions to the intensified fighting as a recurring theme in numerous testimonies.

Several returned hostages have shared the emotional burden they've carried since their release, consumed by thoughts of those left behind. "For those who've returned, the most crucial mission now is saving lives. They carry the weight of responsibility for those they had to leave behind," Susie Ozsinay Aranya, one of three documenters heading the project on behalf of GPO explained.

The full interview will be published in the coming days. 

The post They were held captive by Hamas for 246 days; now they speak appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.

Two minutes and eight seconds. That's the time Hamas terrorists estimated it would take them to reach their target – the Nahal Oz kibbutz – from their starting point in Sajaiya. Revealed here for the first time, this chilling detail, along with other instructions and methods of operation, appears in "Operation 402" – Hamas' attack order for the conquest of the kibbutz on October 7 that left 15 residents dead and eight kidnapped. Alongside stories of heroism, questions also arise regarding the military's performance that day concerning the tragic death of kibbutz resident Ran Poslushni.

Operation 402

Drawn on impressive aerial photographs in Operation 402, a green arrow shows the short, simple route along which dozens of heavily armed Hamas terrorists rode motorcycles as they raided the kibbutz on the morning of October 7. It starts at the outermost building in Sajaiya and stretches directly eastward from there. Upon reaching the border with Israel, the arrow turns right, and after a distance of only about 164 feet, it immediately turns left, back towards the east. After easily jumping over the border fence, the arrow again rushes in a straight line through the potato fields and watermelon patches of Nahal Oz, ending at the southeastern corner of the kibbutz.

Other operation orders prepared by Hamas for the capture of communities in southern Israel have been revealed in the past, but Operation 402 is undoubtedly the most detailed published to date. Written in military language with over ten pages total of data and instructions, members of Hamas' military wing laid out step by step their plan for the massacre.

"The mobilized and reduced platoon from the third company in the fourth battalion will attack Nahal Oz kibbutz," it states. "It will cause as many casualties as possible, take hostages, and position itself inside the kibbutz – until further instructions are received."

Section 3 of the plan includes a table detailing the time in which members of the third company are supposed to complete the route from Sajaiya to the kibbutz. "Distance of the advance route between the exit point and the target – 3,050 meters," the table states. "Average speed of the group's advance towards the target – 40 mph. Travel time to reach the target from when the order is received – 2:08 minutes."

Two minutes and eight seconds. That's all Hamas terrorists needed to get from their starting point inside Gaza to the entrance of the isolated Israeli community. Two minutes and eight seconds, during which no one stood in their way. With this as the starting point, it's no wonder the battle for Nahal Oz was lost from the start. Almost.

Nahal Oz victims

There's no need for Hamas' aerial photographs or their calculations to understand how close Nahal Oz is to the border with Gaza. Since its establishment in 1951, the kibbutz has suffered from its proximity to the Gaza Strip, from Fedayeen attacks, through more than 20 years of Qassam rockets and mortars, to the "March of Return" protests held throughout 2018 that enveloped the kibbutz in thick smoke every Friday. But even the veteran residents of Nahal Oz couldn't have imagined October 7, when 15 kibbutz members were murdered: Staff Sergeant Ilan Fiorentino, Staff Sergeant (res.) Ran Poslushni, Shlomo Ron, Shoshi Brosh, Haim Livne, Yasmin, Yaniv, Keshet and Tchelet Zohar, Dikla Arava, Tomer Arava-Eliaz, Noam Elyakim, Maayan Idan, Somkuan Pansa-ard, and Joshua Mollel.

Eight people were kidnapped from the kibbutz on that black Saturday – Tsachi Idan and Omri Miran, who are still in captivity; Judith Raanan and her daughter Natalie, American citizens who were released after 14 days; sisters Dafna and Ela Elyakim and Alma Avraham, who were released after 51 days; and Clemence Felix Matanga, a Tanzanian citizen who was murdered and whose body is being held in Gaza.

Since October 7, Nahal Oz has been a closed military area. Although it is almost empty of residents, the kibbutz is still well-maintained: a group of volunteers passes between the houses and tends to the shrubs so they don't grow wild. The green lawns are also waiting for the community to return home. On a visit to the kibbutz this week, it's easy to imagine the pastoral scene of that Simchat Torah morning. It's also easy to imagine the dust cloud raised by the motorcycles on which Hamas terrorists rode on their short journey from nearby Sajaiya.

The IDF investigation into the battle in Nahal Oz has not yet been completed, and its publication is not expected soon. However, the remarkable bravery displayed by the kibbutz's emergency response team is already evident. Despite losing their security coordinator, Ilan Fiorentino, in the opening minutes of the assault, this small group, along with a few border police officers who were coincidentally spending the weekend in Nahal Oz, mounted a fierce resistance against dozens of heavily armed terrorists. In the face of overwhelming odds, their courageous actions undoubtedly prevented an even greater tragedy from unfolding in the kibbutz. Only after six and a half hours would the first IDF forces arrive at the kibbutz gate to finally clear it of terrorists.

Members of the emergency response team described their experiences in "Testimony 710," an extensive civilian documentation project that recently went online. Now, in a first-of-its-kind reconstruction based on these testimonies, along with internal materials and Hamas' operation order, it's possible to get a full picture of the battle. From this picture emerges, just as in the IDF's investigation of the battle in Be'eri, questions regarding the army's performance in Nahal Oz. As in Be'eri, in the case of Nahal Oz, it turns out that during the clearing of the kibbutz from terrorists, IDF soldiers accidentally killed at least one Israeli civilian.

Top secret

The fourth battalion of Hamas' Gaza Brigade is the Sajaiya battalion, which has caused trouble for the IDF since Operation Cast Lead in 2009. In Operation Protective Edge, the battalion also inflicted heavy casualties on Israel. In the current war, the army has had to maneuver in its sector three times and still hasn't defeated it decisively. The third company of the battalion belongs to the Nukhba force (Arabic for "elite"), Hamas' special forces unit. Operation 402, which bears the heading "Top Secret," is intended for this elite company.

The entire order was printed, but someone had attached a note with the handwritten name "Abu Salama." This is the codename of the force commander, who received the document only hours before setting out. According to the battle order, the raiding force on Nahal Oz included 27 terrorists. The force should advance towards the target on 14 off-road motorcycles, moving in two columns. An additional motorcycle, on which the commander and driver will ride, will be positioned in the middle of the convoy. The order even specified the name of the commander's driver – Bilal Abu Kanuna.

The navigators who led the force were also mentioned by name, although their movement route was not particularly complicated. Another professional, Mohammed Hamto, was defined as a "media photographer." Later, under the "Communications" section, it states that "photos will be taken using head cameras and phones, in addition to the presence of a media photographer." This instruction clarifies how important it was for Hamas to broadcast the atrocities it committed live.

The order also included three aerial photographs of the area, which, in addition to the route of movement, indicate the locations of IDF communication antennas, cameras, and motion radars, along with guard posts, barbed wire fences, and dirt mounds. The entry point to the kibbutz is located in its southeastern corner, that is, in the part furthest from the Gaza Strip, a location that Hamas operatives probably assessed would be a weak point.

After completing the first stage – the rapid arrival at the destination – the terrorists would move to the second stage – conquering the kibbutz. According to the order, the force's sappers would breach holes in the fence using explosive charges, through which their comrades would enter for the mission and split into two groups. One group would focus on raiding the eastern part of Nahal Oz, while setting ambushes and booby-trapping houses. This group's mission was to take over the clubhouse and dining hall and also raid the secretariat, which, according to Hamas, "is considered an important source of information for our forces" from which communication with factors outside the kibbutz is conducted.

The second group of terrorists would focus on the western side of Nahal Oz, take over its visitors' center, "clear" the kindergartens, and blow up the kibbutz's communication antennas. Then, they would gather hostages from the first group and concentrate them in the kindergartens. The dining hall is also described in the order as a "central place" where "hostages can be held." Section 5 of the plan states that if, during the fortification with the hostages, there is a need for water and food supplies, they can be obtained from the grocery store, which can serve as a "source of logistical support for the forces – food, drink, fuel, gas."

Simultaneously with the conquest of Nahal Oz kibbutz, another Hamas force also raided the adjacent Nahal Oz outpost and completely conquered it, inflicting heavy casualties on the IDF. The lookout post's command and control center were breached, and most of the female observers were shot dead. Seven female IDF observers were kidnapped to the Gaza Strip. The people of Nahal Oz quickly realized that help would not come from the direction of the nearby outpost. "At some point, I called a friend and told him, 'You must save us and bring the army. There are dozens of terrorists in the kibbutz, and we're alone.' I really cried for help," said Barry Meyerowitz, co-manager of the Nahal Oz community and a member of the emergency response team who fought the terrorists on October 7. "The friend said, 'I'm checking what can be done,' then I realized there's no one to help us."

Even if they didn't meet the ambitious target of two minutes and eight seconds, the terrorists of the Sajaiya battalion certainly managed to infiltrate Nahal Oz quickly. Already at 7:00 AM, half an hour after the start of the attack, reports began to be received of terrorist fire inside the kibbutz. In the hours that followed, dozens more armed men would enter the community, along with looters who would take anything they could get their hands on. According to army estimates, on October 7, about 100 terrorists were present in Nahal Oz.

However, in the second part of their mission – conquering the kibbutz and fortifying themselves there with many hostages – Hamas terrorists failed. Although this is the Israeli community closest to the border with Gaza (except for Kerem Shalom), and although the terrorists stayed there for long hours with a huge numerical advantage – Nahal Oz did not fall. The terrorists managed to murder many of the kibbutz residents in cold blood and kidnap eight – but at no stage did they completely control it. What prevented this from happening was the kibbutz's emergency response team.

The emergency response team

At 7:04 AM, Ari Yefet, an emergency response team member, went out to his garden and looked towards the kibbutz's perimeter fence. He saw five motorcycles there, with two armed men on each. Yefet caught sight of the armed men crossing the kibbutz's back gate, and at 7:08 AM, he called Nissan de Kalo, deputy to the security coordinator Fiorentino. "Something urgent?" asked de Kalo. "Yes," Yefet replied, "there's a terrorist infiltration from the back gate."

De Kalo, who had just put on his vest and ceramic armor and taken his M-16 rifle out of the safe in his house, called the security coordinator Fiorentino. "Bring the Defender (the community's armored security vehicle) to me," he said, and immediately afterward, he put his children in the safe room, explained to them how to lock the door from the inside, and warned them not to open it for anyone.

Fiorentino and de Kalo, it's important to note, are the only members of the emergency response team who had long guns. The rest of the weapons were stored in the kibbutz's armory four months earlier for fear of being stolen. "Bring us weapons," Yefet writes to them already in the first minutes, locked in the safe room with his family. However, these weapons will never reach the 20 members of the emergency response team who were left in the kibbutz without a real ability to defend it.

Upon receiving the report of the terrorist infiltration, the security coordinator Fiorentino left the house, under fire, and joined 13-year-old Ariel Zohar, who had left his house for a run and whose entire family – parents Yaniv and Yasmin and older sisters Keshet and Tchelet – were murdered in the massacre. Fiorentino brought Ariel to his house. There, his wife Sharon watched over him, thus essentially saving his life. He then went out again and encountered terrorists and engaged in combat with them. "I'm in battle," he replied briefly to Sharon when she called him on the phone. Fiorentino, who pinned down the terrorists with fire, still managed to update the commander of a small group of Border Police fighters, who were spending the weekend in the kibbutz, about the location of the encounter. He managed to delay the terrorists' advance, but shortly afterward was hit and killed. The police, who encountered the terrorists later, managed to eliminate five of them.

The one who took command at this stage was de Kalo, who was now driving the armored Defender vehicle. When he called the security coordinator Fiorentino, "there was a dial tone, and Ilan didn't answer," he said in his testimony. "At that point in time, I had a very clear understanding – Ilan was probably not alive. The second thing is that I'm alone, and the third is that I'm probably about to encounter now."

De Kalo drove to the kibbutz entrance gate and waited for IDF forces there. He received a phone call from emergency response team member Meyerowitz. "I heard distress in his voice and asked where he was and what was happening," Meyerowitz testified. "He said he was at the kibbutz entrance, waiting for the army inside the armored vehicle, and asked if I could join him. I was at home with a bulletproof vest, magazines, helmet, flashlight, maps, and everything I needed – but without a weapon. Nissan said he had a (long) gun and a pistol and that he was coming to pick me up. And then the most horrific morning of my life began."

After de Kalo picked up Meyerowitz from his house, the two returned to the entrance gate of Nahal Oz, where they saw an armed person dressed in uniform climbing on it. "I was seconds away from shooting him," de Kalo recounted, "and then he raised his hands. I identified him as an officer. He told me, 'I have a force here with wounded soldiers and a dead man.'" Only at this stage do the emergency response team members realize that Border Police officers are also fighting terrorists simultaneously. They decide to join the officer and unite with the Border Police fighters.

When they reach the house where the Border Police are fortified, "They bring out four wounded for me," de Kalo said, "I lift one of them to the back seat of the Defender. I wake him up and seat him. Another soldier pulls him. My entire right hand and my clothes are soaked in blood." De Kalo and the Border Police manage to get the wounded soldiers out through one of Nahal Oz's back gates, while fighting terrorists shooting at them from all directions. "I remember faces I hit, and it's very difficult," de Kalo testified. "Even when you know they're terrorists, it's not human to kill. But it's a no-choice situation." During the battle, Staff Sergeant Yaakov Shlomo Krasinski was killed, and five Border Police fighters were wounded.

While the wounded were being loaded onto a kibbutz vehicle and evacuated to Soroka Hospital, the fighting continued inside Nahal Oz. Emergency response team members de Kalo and Meyerowitz, together with Border Police fighters, took control of two armored "Ze'ev" vehicles of the Border Police force under fire and started driving them around the kibbutz. De Kalo leads the force, and Meyerowitz sits next to him in the armored Defender connected to the kibbutz's WhatsApp group, where messages are received from residents about the locations of terrorists and wounded.

Being a history buff, at this stage de Kalo remembered the story of "Zvika Force," that small armor force that repelled an attempted invasion of Syrian armor divisions into the Golan Heights during the Yom Kippur War. "My goal is to reach the armed men (who are inside the kibbutz)," de Kalo described the rationale behind his heroism that day. "It's important for me to make contact, to create combat. Always be on the move, always surprise them, and not give them peace. Every time, pop up from a different place."

And so de Kalo's Defender and two "Ze'ev" vehicles hopped between different arenas and fought the terrorists as much as possible. Although they were few against many, the "de Kalo Force" does not allow Hamas terrorists to implement the orders they received in Operation 402. "Everywhere we drove, they shot at us," he said. "Part of the time we dismounted from the vehicle, part of the time we shot from inside the vehicle." The Border Police fighters, some of whom were equipped with sniper rifles, also fired from inside the vehicles. "I couldn't believe their level of accuracy," de Kalo said. "From narrow firing slits, they sniped. We told them, 'Two terrorists on the left, white shirt, black shirt.' They took them down."

When de Kalo and Meyerowitz's Defender vehicle took close-range fire and was disabled, they left it and moved to the Border Police "Ze'ev." The Ze'ev also took an RPG rocket hit but continued to function. The emergency response team members and Border Police managed to prevent them from completely conquering Nahal Oz. Throughout all this, they and all the other kibbutz members waited for the IDF.

The IDF arrives

It took the IDF a long time to send forces to Nahal Oz. Only at 11:00 AM did the Maglan unit receive the first order, which placed responsibility for the kibbutz in its hands. As a result, several teams from the unit, who were moving around the area and had already fought in various places, began to make their way to Nahal Oz, but this was not simple and was full of ambushes set by the terrorists in advance.

The first military force to arrive near Nahal Oz was a Maglan force led by Major Chen Bouchris, the unit's deputy commander, and Captain Yiftah Yavetz. The force, which arrived around noon, included only five fighters. They drove on the main access road to the kibbutz and were ambushed just yards from the entrance gate by terrorists lying in wait by the roadside. General (res.) Noam Tibon, who was going to Nahal Oz to rescue his son Amir and his family, also joined the battle that developed. In the encounter, Bouchris, Yavetz, and Staff Sergeant Afik Rosenthal were killed.

The encounter delayed the arrival of Maglan forces to Nahal Oz. Unit teams that arrived at the scene spent about an hour neutralizing the threat and evacuating the wounded, while struggling to reach the kibbutz itself. According to the unit's reports, the first force to reach Nahal Oz finally did so at 1:15 PM.

Maglan was joined at this stage by fighters from the Givati Reconnaissance Unit, under the command of unit commander Lt. Col. Ziv Boanish, who was called up from home and arrived in the Sderot area in private vehicles. In a press interview given by Givati Reconnaissance officers, they claimed they arrived at Nahal Oz at 11:00 AM. This claim does not align with testimonies from emergency response team members and other documents in our possession.

According to emergency response team member Meyerowitz, the army arrived in Nahal Oz only after 1:30 PM. "At 1:30 PM, we received a message on the radio that forces were arriving. We stood and waited for them," he recounts. "We were already quite battered and also dehydrated, both us and the Border Police. We waited at the back gate, and then a convoy of army jeeps from the Maglan unit and Givati Reconnaissance started to enter. They spread out as defense. Nissan showed them the kibbutz on the map. For a moment, I breathed. I said, 'Wow, I can't believe the army arrived.' I wrote to my wife Roni that the army had arrived and that we were coming soon, and then I saw the briefing continued and continued. I started screaming like a madman at everyone. There was also Noam Tibon, who arrived with the soldiers. I didn't know who he was. I told him, 'Come on, we can't wait. They're killing the whole kibbutz.'"

With assistance from emergency response team members, Maglan and Givati forces divided Nahal Oz into sectors, with each team of fighters assigned an area to clear. The soldiers moved from house to house, attempting to determine which homes contained terrorists. At this stage, an unexpected challenge emerged: It became clear that Hamas terrorists had shouted, "IDF! IDF!", while breaking into kibbutz houses to slaughter residents. Now, when the IDF actually arrived, terrified residents refused to open their doors to the soldiers.

IDF forces, initially accompanied by emergency response team members and later on their own, continued to move from house to house until the evening hours of October 7, eliminating terrorists as they went. As darkness fell, they took up defensive positions. In the following two days, the army continued to eliminate terrorists in the kibbutz area and repel infiltration attempts by additional terrorists seeking to enter the kibbutz through the breached fence with Gaza, some on motorcycles. Maglan and Givati were later joined by a force from Golani's 13th Battalion, and starting from the afternoon of October 8, this combined force of about 100 fighters began to systematically go through all the kibbutz houses and finally clear them of terrorists. Only on the evening of October 9, two and a half days after the start of the attack, did Maglan and Givati reconnaissance fighters leave the kibbutz area and begin preparations for the ground entry into Gaza. They were replaced by a reserve force from the 55th Brigade. The battle in Nahal Oz had ended.

The mistake

There is no doubt about the bravery of IDF soldiers in the battle for Nahal Oz, and no doubt that from the moment they arrived, they worked to clear the kibbutz of terrorists under complex, almost impossible conditions. However, in at least one case, it appears that IDF soldiers erred. This involves the tragic case of Ran Poslushni.

Ran, 48 years old at the time of his death, grew up in Yavne and worked as a manager at the Ashdod port. He and his wife, Sharona, met while studying and moved to Nahal Oz nine years ago, where they raised their four children. "Ran was never worried about the security situation," said his father, Motti, who accompanied us inside the kibbutz. "He was happy here."

The Poslushni family's beautifully designed and warm home, standing in the southern part of Nahal Oz, was a dream come true for the couple. Motti, who conducted his own investigation into the circumstances of Ran's death, stood outside the house and recounted the events of October 7. "On Simchat Torah, the family hosted a couple of friends from central Israel, along with their children," he says. "When the 'Red Color' alerts began, everyone entered the safe room on the lower floor." Later, two Thai workers who had fled from the nearby dairy farm also joined the group.

Ran and Sharona's eldest son, Ili, lives in a complex on the other side of the kibbutz designated for soldiers. Ili, who still serves in combat engineering, had left his personal weapon, a shortened M-16, disassembled with one magazine, at his parents' house. That night, he went to sleep with his then-girlfriend in his room in the soldiers' complex. "Throughout that day, we were mainly worried about Ili," says Motti. "We weren't worried about Ran at all."

"At 7:06 AM, Ran sent me a message that there was a report of an infiltration into Nahal Oz," Motti continued. "Later, he wrote, 'Dad, I hear machine gun fire.' Then he reported that terrorists were trying to break through the entrance door." Ran, who had been a tank commander during his regular service, assembled his son's personal weapon, stood at the safe room door entrance, and began firing at the armed terrorists trying to enter his home. By the afternoon hours, he was left with only four bullets in the magazine and asked the emergency response team members to bring him magazines. They were unable to reach him.

Apart from Ran, his wife Sharona also remained with him outside the safe room. Sharona prepared food and drinks for the guests who were holed up in the safe room, while Ran turned the house into a fortress, not allowing anyone to enter. Throughout this time, the couple, known as ultimate hosts, managed to maintain a calm, even pleasant atmosphere in their besieged home.

Ran continued to defend the house, his family, and his guests until the afternoon hours. At 1:16 PM, he reported to his father about an attempt by looters from Gaza to break into the house. "They were unarmed. I stitched one of them in the ass. Haha," he wrote with his characteristic cynicism. At 1:43 PM, he already updated that, "The army is clearing the kibbutz." About an hour later, Maglan soldiers arrived at his house, talked with Ran, and gave him a full magazine. He even managed to photograph them standing on the balcony before bidding them farewell.

However, shortly after the Maglan soldiers left, another force, a team from the Givati reconnaissance unit, positioned itself in front of the Poslushni family home. The Givati force apparently did not understand that the house had already been searched and "cleared" by Maglan soldiers. While silently observing the house, the soldiers saw Ran, holding a weapon, going up the stairs to the second floor together with his wife Sharona. Since Ran was dressed in civilian clothes, they apparently interpreted this as an armed terrorist holding a hostage.

Why did Ran and Sharona go up to the second floor? According to Sharona, after the Maglan soldiers visited the house, they felt relatively calm and allowed themselves to go up to the bedroom on the second floor to rest. They had no idea they had walked into the sights of the Givati force's weapons.

While Ran and Sharona were on the second floor, the Givati force secretly flanked the house and positioned themselves in front of the three windows of the couple's bedroom. Sharona remembers even seeing one of the soldiers lying in front of the house through one of the windows, with his weapon drawn, and asked him not to shoot, as there were no terrorists in the house.

The soldier may not have heard Sharona, as at some point, the Givati force opened devastating fire towards the house. The soldiers, who fired at the second floor through the three bedroom windows, did so in a surprise burst of fire, apparently intended to eliminate the "terrorist" who was inside the house.

Ran, who was standing in front of the middle window at the time of the burst of fire, was hit by the shooting and fell. His wife, who was in the bathroom at that moment, was saved thanks to the concrete wall separating it from the windows. "Sharona, who came out of the bathroom and saw him wounded, screamed," says Motti. "That scream was heard throughout the kibbutz."

Only at this stage did the Givati soldiers realize that they had probably made a mistake in identification. The force commander contacted a Maglan team operating nearby and discovered for the first time that this team had already searched the Poslushni family home. At this point, some of the Givati soldiers entered the house and climbed to the second floor, where the horror was revealed to their eyes. One of them, apparently consumed by guilt, left a note with his phone number on Ran's body.

Now, the Poslushni family's home in Nahal Oz is empty of residents. The sole testimony to what happened there is the walls of the second floor, completely riddled with bullets, and the main entrance door to the house, which was hit by Ran's shooting. "Volunteers came and helped polish the house," said Motti in a steady voice, while standing in the corridor of the second floor, exactly where his son Ran fell. "But here," he points casually at the wall, "there are a few drops of blood they forgot to clean."

After his death, the family demanded that Ran be recognized as an IDF casualty, since he was attached to Nahal Oz's emergency response team, physically defended those in the house, and was ultimately hit by friendly fire. Shortly after his death, he was indeed recognized as such and given the rank of master sergeant in the reserves. "I have no complaints against Givati about shooting Ran," says Motti, the father. "I'm sure the soldiers were confused and scared, and because of this chaos, they fired without thinking twice and without understanding the situation. They released all their frustrations and fear through this shooting. This brigade is also fighting with all its might in Gaza."

Two fighters from the reconnaissance unit who fought in Nahal Oz were killed in Gaza: Staff Sergeant Roei Wolf and Staff Sergeant Lavi Lipshitz. "But I see it as an error that no one from the brigade has bothered to pick up the phone and apologize to us yet," continued the bereaved father Motti. "It's as if the subject has been forgotten and disappeared, and only stories of heroism remain. I think this is disrespectful behavior, especially after killing an Israeli citizen like that. Givati is rightfully proud of killing terrorists in Nahal Oz and other places. But the feeling is that there's an attempt to erase the incident with Ran."

The parents have also not yet received the pathological report of their son's body. "We still don't know what Ran died from," says Motti. "We know Ran was hit by two bullets. But where did they hit? We have no idea. Maybe it's hard to explain, but it's important for us to know exactly what he died from." When they contacted, with the help of the IDF Casualties Officer, to request the autopsy report from the Pathological Institute, they were told that due to the state of emergency, "It will take time... unfortunately, we have no estimate."

And what about Ili, Ran and Sharona's eldest son, the one who slept in the soldiers' complex? "There are six apartments in this complex," Motti recounts. "The terrorists entered five of them and sprayed, but they were all empty because the soldiers living there didn't leave for Shabbat. Ili and his girlfriend were in the sixth apartment. There, the terrorists contented themselves with firing a few bullets and left."

After sitting shiva for his father, Ili struggled to get permission to return to his unit and join them in Gaza. His request was eventually granted. "He gave his soul in Gaza," says the proud grandfather Motti. "It was an opportunity for him to avenge his father's death." Ili excelled during his service inside Gaza, and on the last Independence Day, he received the President's Excellence Award. Another hero in the chain of generations of Nahal Oz.

IDF Spokesperson's response: "The IDF shares in the sorrow of the Poslushni family and mourns the death of Ran, may his memory be blessed, in the complex circumstances during the battle. The commanders of the Givati Brigade are currently fighting in the Gaza Strip and will meet with the family as soon as possible. The investigation of the battle in Kibbutz Nahal Oz has not yet been completed. When it is concluded, it will first be presented to the kibbutz community and the bereaved families and then published transparently to the public."

The post New details of Hamas attack on Nahal Oz appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.

The calls came in a deluge. Desperate, pleading, screaming, chilling. They poured in from open fields, from lemon groves and potato farms, from locked closets in safe rooms, from shelters, from bullet-riddled vehicles, from injured first-responder teams, from military bases, from bushes, from ditches, from the heart of hell itself, under relentless gunfire, deep within the flames.

They also came from parents frantic with worry, from children orphaned in an instant, from a mother during her abduction, from people fleeing death in its most brutal form until it finally caught up with them.

"Magen David Adom in Israel's call center boasts some of the most advanced technologies in the world, enabling response times of up to three seconds even during high-pressure situations, and the ability to locate victims based on location sharing from the phone they're calling from," says MDA Director General Eli Bin, who is in charge of Israel's main emergency response medical organization. 

"That day, MDA's dispatchers didn't just provide medical guidance over the phone. As you can hear in the calls, they exercised exceptional judgment, thought outside the box, and gave life-saving instructions like keeping quiet and arming themselves for protection.

"Moreover, the dispatchers maintained their composure and answered calls calmly despite the general sense of chaos that had overtaken the country, in order to provide some sense of security to people on the other end of the line. Their actions saved many lives on that cursed morning. The exceptional human capital and advanced technologies at the call center enabled continuous operation and prevented the system from collapsing even under the extraordinary call volume."

MDA data shows that on October 7, 315 emergency medical technicians and paramedics operated in the 101 emergency call centers across the country, answering 26,627 emergency calls. The average response time was five seconds.

These calls represent an enormous repository of real-time documentation of the monstrous reality that unfolded. They are tangible evidence that serves as an eternal auditory memorial to the atrocities. Here are some of them, exclusively revealed by Israel Hayom.

6:29

Yael arrives a bit early for her Saturday morning shift at the MDA call center. Usually, Saturdays are calmer than weekdays, especially on a holiday, but this Saturday the sirens caught her in the parking lot.

She rushes to open a station, expecting calls from Israeli who fell on their way to shelters. But the calls coming into the 101 emergency hotline in those minutes are different and become increasingly dramatic moment by moment. "MDA, hello, this is Roni," a dispatcher answers one of the calls.

"We're near the shower, we heard a siren and ran because of the sirens," reports the caller from Kiryat Gat in a stressed voice, describing that one family member was injured during the run. At the next station, another dispatcher answers a call: "MDA, Alexa."

"Hello, my water broke," says a caller in distress.

"Negev, Moshe," reports an MDA team member from the Negev region. "Talk fast," the dispatcher replies, already having to answer a new incoming call.

Yael sits at her station and immediately answers an incoming call. "MDA hello, this is Yael." On the worried end of the line is a man reporting that his house was hit by a rocket. "We're on our way, yes, get into the shelter." In the next call, a father from Yavne asks for advice on how to calm his child, who is having an anxiety attack. "First of all, I can send you an ambulance," she says. "You can sit with him, hug him, calm him down. It's really stressful."

6:47

"MDA, Esther," responds a dispatcher at another station. "This is from the police. I want to connect you to a call. A woman was hit by a rocket and she says her mother is dead." The police officer connects the caller to the dispatcher. Esther inquires about the address. "We have a high volume of calls," she updates the officer, "she's here with you on the line." "Our faces are burning, we can't breathe," the woman says in panic. "There's an ambulance on the way to you." "Urgent!" the woman pleads.

These calls represent an enormous repository of real-time documentation of the monstrous reality that unfolded. Tangible evidence that serves as an eternal auditory memorial to the atrocities. Here are some of them, in a document exclusively revealed by Israel Hayom.

Moment by moment, the calls become more difficult and frightening. "We all received unusual calls," dispatcher Yael Hadad says. "I looked to my right and left, we looked each other in the eyes and understood that we were all receiving calls that were beyond comprehension. It wasn't just my calls that were like this. You hang up a call, don't have time to put down the receiver, and already a new call is coming in. You don't dare take a break."

Pieces of horrifying information come in. Jarring sounds of screams, pain, gunfire, explosions, panic, alongside a jumble of words of comfort and life-saving instructions. Whispers, final gasps, silences, and shouts in Arabic are heard in some of the calls. Cries of anguish. A baby crying. Pieces of horror swirl and coalesce into a blurred picture of hell at the emergency centers and the national center of Magen David Adom.

7:08

Hezki the dispatcher answers a call: "MDA hello."

Caller: "Listen, they shot at us! My friend is dead in the car. We're both in a ditch. They're shooting here. Can you locate the phone and get here somehow?"

Hezki: "Yes. Stay with me on the line, brother."

Caller: "We left a party in the forest, there was an encounter, they shot at our car, my friend is dead."

Hezki asks the panicked young man to open WhatsApp and click on a link to send his location. The young man reports that in addition to the fatality in the car, his friend beside him in the ditch is wounded and bleeding from the shoulder. The dispatcher instructs him to apply pressure to the bleeding area.

Caller: "We need an ambulance now! Hurry! There are also explosions above us."

Hezki: "I understand. Tell me, are there casualties only in your car?" The young man reports on more vehicles hit in the area and begs for an ambulance to arrive: "Please! I've lost one friend, I can't lose the other one too!"

Hezki asks the young man to place a cloth to stop his friend's bleeding. "We don't want to move, we're in a dangerous place," the caller replies. "Locate us, brother! Send a helicopter." Hezki checks if the friend is conscious and explains to the caller that stopping the bleeding is the only option to save his life right now. "Be real with me, how long approximately (will it take for an ambulance)?" Hezki replies: "We're on our way, brother. There are mobile intensive care units on their way to you."

In the background, the calls keep coming in. From Kfar Aza, from bases hit in the south, from Route 232 and other communities where rockets fell. "Tell him to apply pressure so he doesn't lose blood," Hezki says to the young man who is meanwhile talking to his friend: "Brother, are you okay?" And the friend replies in a weak voice, "I'm cold, I'm starting to go into shock." The caller says to his friend "I'm with you" and shouts to the dispatcher: "Brother, are you coming?!?"

7:18

Yael receives a call reporting gunfire towards the gas station at the entrance to Kibbutz Kfar Aza. The information is already available in front of Yael's eyes. "Yes, we're on our way to the location, I understand there are many wounded there."

In the next call, there's a panicked female soldier on the line from one of the bases in the area. "I have a soldier who was shot at," she says. Yael: "Is he conscious?" The soldier confirms that the wounded soldier is talking to her. "Okay, listen, take a deep breath, we're on our way. Are there more wounded?" Yael finds herself instructing the soldier to stop the bleeding and realizes there are many attackers in the base.

In one call, there's a panicked female soldier on the line from one of the bases in the area. "I have a soldier who was shot at," she says. Yael: "Is he conscious?" The soldier confirms that the wounded soldier is talking to her. "Okay, listen, take a deep breath, we're on our way. Are there more wounded?" Yael finds herself instructing the soldier to stop the bleeding and realizes there are many attackers in the base.

"Please lock the door. I'm with you," she tries to give the soldier a sense of security. "You lock the door, crouch down, and make as little noise as possible." Yael inquires about the condition of the wounded. "He's conscious, thank God," the soldier answers, and Yael suggests she take his weapon. "You're a champion. Well done."

The soldier asks where the ambulance is, and Yael explains that they're trying to enter but there's active gunfire and currently they have no way to reach them.

At these moments, the activity at the national center and all the centers, which were staffed to the last station, is bustling. "MDA Shifra," the dispatcher answers. "It's urgent!" replies the voice from the other end.

Shifra: "What can you tell me? How many wounded are you?"

The caller speaks of eight or nine gunshot victims. "Sir, I'm with you, are they all conscious?" Shifra asks. The caller updates that two are unconscious. "This is a large attack, mass casualties," he explains.

Shifra: "You can save them. I know it's difficult. How many people do you see lying down?"

Caller: "Two aren't moving."

When she asks if he's also wounded, he replies: "I think I was shot in the head, but I'm more concerned about my friend. His leg is swollen. He's bleeding. A lot of blood."

Shifra instructs him to take a cloth. "Wow, wow!" she hears. Shifra asks if there's gunfire and instructs him: "Lie on your stomachs. Put your hands on your head. Be on the floor." Gunshots are heard in the background. Everyone is lying down. "When the shooting stops, make a tight tourniquet for your friend, do you hear?" After a few seconds, the young man answers again.

"Yes, I hear you."

Shifra: "Take a cloth, anything you have, a shirt, pants, sweater, anything. You tie it tightly on his leg. Hold him. Tell him 'You'll be okay,' say these words to him all the time, so he doesn't lose consciousness, so he keeps his eyes open. Tell him you're with him. If there's no active shooting, make sure everyone stops their bleeding. Stop everyone's bleeding. Apply direct, strong pressure on all the wounded."

"We're losing blood here. Hurry! Hurry!" he pleads. "What's happening with your friend?" Shifra asks. Caller: "He's conscious for now."

Shifra: "Talk to him. Tell him he's strong and that he'll survive this." Shouts are heard in the background. Shifra asks what happened.

Caller: "People here are stressed. Under pressure."

Shifra: "If there's shooting, you lie on your stomachs and don't move."

Caller: "Please, I'm begging! Please, God!"

Shifra: "Many forces are on the way."

Caller: "As fast as possible."

Omri Levy, National Dispatch Supervisor at MDA, arrives around seven o'clock at the national center. Within a short time, all of MDA's senior command will gather there to manage the most turbulent, chaotic, and horrifying day in the history of the State of Israel.

"A few minutes into the event, we understand that something unusual is happening," Omri recounts. "The instruction received is that no night shift is going home. We're reinforcing the dispatchers across the country, and during this time reports start coming in about shooting incidents in Sderot as well.

Moment by moment, the calls become more difficult and frightening. "We all received unusual calls," dispatcher Yael Hadad says. "I looked to my right and left, we looked each other in the eyes and understood that we were all receiving calls that were beyond comprehension. It wasn't just my calls that were like this. You hang up a call, don't have time to put down the receiver, and already a new call is coming in. You don't dare take a break."

"A few minutes later, one of our mobile intensive care units that went to treat a shooting incident in the Urim area was shot at an intersection. The ambulance driver was hit, and the paramedic reports convoys of motorcycles with attackers heading towards Ofakim. One of our on-call staff, who left home for that same incident, was murdered."

7:32

"MDA hello, this is Avi."

Young woman: "They're shooting at us. We're near Gaza."

Avi: "Where near Gaza?"

Young woman: "There are many wounded here, wow, wow, listen, I don't know. My boyfriend, he's severely wounded in the hand." Avi: "We're sending an ambulance to you. Is your boyfriend conscious? Is he talking?"

Young woman: "He's losing consciousness."

Avi: "I want you to apply pressure on the place where he's wounded. Press hard."

The young woman tries to say something, but the line is disrupted.

Avi: "I can't hear you. Were you also hit by gunfire?"

Young woman: "A little. There are many severely wounded here."

Avi: "How many people are you there?"

Young woman: "I don't know." The fear in her voice intensifies. "Send lots of ambulances."

Avi: "I want to know: Are you conscious? How many wounded?"

Young woman: "Two severely wounded. Are you sending someone meanwhile?"

Avi: "Yes." At this stage, Avi already knows that the IDF has blocked the roads, but prefers to leave the young woman with hope. Avi: "How many wounds does he have on his body?"

Young woman: "One on the hand, in the artery."

Avi: "I want you to press there on the wound."

Young woman: "I'm pressing, I'm pressing."

Avi asks the young woman for her name, asks how old the people with her are.

Young woman: "There are people here from age 26 to 30 and we're all slightly wounded. Listen, oh my God! Are you locating my position?"

Avi: "I think I've located it."

In the background, bursts of gunfire are heard. Avi: "I want to verify that the wounded person is conscious."

Young woman: "He's not conscious. They're shooting at us!!!"

Avi: "Are they still shooting there?"

Young woman: "Shooting! Can't you hear? They're shooting at us all the time! Oh my God!!! Come already!!!"

Her terrified words mingle with the gunfire and screams in Arabic. She sobs as quietly as possible, curling into herself on the ground like a wounded animal, surrounded by blood, terror, death, and countless hate-filled murderers, approaching her with shouts of hatred and bursts of gunfire.

"Ahhh," a flash of surprised pain is heard on the phone, involuntarily breaking out. "Ahhh." Her quick, frightened, sobbing breaths turn into three final gasps, followed by one weak one, and then silence.

In these horrifying moments, in the depths of hell, this young woman wasn't completely alone. She had a witness. There was someone who accompanied her until her last breath – and there's documentation of the murderous massacre in which her life was taken.

The next call comes in as soon as this one ends. The MDA dispatchers have no moment to process. Sometimes there's someone who breaks down and goes out for a few minutes break. The support teams that were called up are there to accompany them.

7:35 "Sir, you called me, I'm from MDA. Do you need help?" Yael asks the caller. "We have gunshot victims here," he replies, and Yael confirms: "Is this where the party was?"

"There are many cars here. The police told us to run away from there," he says. "Right," she answers, "there's shooting in the whole area. Can you send me a location? Did you get my WhatsApp message?"

The caller checks, and Yael asks to understand the scale of the party from which more and more calls are being received. "About 4,000 people." Yael keeps her composure and asks to know how many wounded are near him

"As far as I know, there's one gunshot victim."

Yael: "Where was she hit? Arm? Leg? Head?"

"Left leg, in the thigh area," the caller details and adds that there are people treating her and applying a tourniquet.

"Great, it's really important for me to hear that now," says Yael and explains that it will be difficult for an ambulance to reach the location. "Take care of yourselves."

"It was important for me to reflect the reality to them," Yael says this week. "For them to know that it's not just them. That it's many civilians. In one of the calls, a child from one of the kibbutzim called me and asked, 'When are you coming to help us? We have attackers here.' I tell him that everyone knows about his situation and wants to help him: 'There are many forces trying to reach you, and there are also many bad people in the kibbutz moving around.'

"It's hard to mediate this situation to a small child, and also to an adult. Everyone knows their lives are in immediate danger. Everyone understands there's a war even before it's been declared. You need to give tools to a person, even when they're helpless. To tell them 'Take the car and drive to the hospital,' when on a normal day it's 'Stop at the intersection, turn on your blinkers, and wait for an ambulance.' It's questions like 'Do you have a weapon? You don't have a weapon? Take one from someone who's wounded.' These are surreal things."

8:09

"MDA Noa."

In the background, terrified screams of young men and women are heard. Noa: "Sir, stay with me for a moment. Where are you? Where are you? Hello..."

Young man: "Ow!" In the background, terrible screams of pain, crying, and shouting.

Noa: "Where are you? Where are you located? In which city are you? Stay with me for a moment. Keep yourselves safe. Hide."

In the background, a young woman is heard screaming: "Nooooo, nooooo."

Young man: "They're shooting at us here."

Noa: "I know they're shooting at you. Where exactly are you located? Which kibbutz? Stay with me! Tell me exactly where you are."

Young man: "We're... please, please!"

Noa: "Stay with me. Where are you?"

Young man: "In Kibbutz xxx, outside the shelter."

Noa: "I understand. Stay safe. Do you have an option to go hide?"

Young man: "No, no, they're shooting at us non-stop. We're all bleeding here."

Noa: "Okay, tell me how many wounded are around you?"

Young man: "20 wounded."

Noa: "Listen to me for a moment. Are they still there? Still shooting?"

Young man: "Yes, yes, they're not stopping. Please come!!!"

Noa: "I understand. Listen for a moment, one second, we're trying to reach you. Which road are you on?"

Young man: "Which road are we on?" He asks someone next to him. "Please! They're shooting at us! Save us! Please!"

Noa: "Listen for a moment, dear, for those who are bleeding - take a shirt, take a cloth, stop the bleeding."

Young man: "There's nothing. There's nothing here. They're shooting at us."

Noa: "Stop your bleeding. Try to keep yourselves safe. Can you go to a safe place? Hello? Hello?..."

Young man: "We can't... we're bleeding to death here. Wow. Wow. Someone died!"

Noa: "What happened there? Who died? How many wounded are near you? Hello? Hello? Sir, stay with me, we want to understand what's happening there."

In the background, voices of approaching attackers are heard. "At this stage, we start receiving calls from all around the area and there are many incidents," recalls dispatcher Omri. "We decide to bring down armored ambulances from the Judea and Samaria region. We understand that it's also in Sderot, Ofakim, and Netivot, but we still don't understand that there are attackers with RPGs.

"There were treatment points that we started to deploy, ambulance concentration points in areas where there are roadblocks, to which we direct civilians and the military to evacuate the wounded. We're setting up treatment sites at MDA stations as well. Within all the events we're trying to deal with, we're receiving terrible calls from civilians who are in houses that are on fire, who are being kidnapped during the call and shot at during it.

"In our work, there's no call that's similar to the previous one. We always need to think outside the box. Even in routine events. We didn't think we'd need to teach civilians to put wet rags at the door to prevent smoke from entering. The thing that was hardest for the dispatchers was to hear that someone needs help and to know that the ambulances are blocked."

Avi Cohen, who woke up to the sound of sirens, arrived at the MDA national center in Kiryat Ono. In those days, he was being trained for the position he holds today – manager of the central region call center. He began to return calls from civilians and guide those who remained alive.

"We work on autopilot, without thinking," he says. "Even in routine, a 20-year-old dispatcher guides CPR on a baby. She doesn't stop and think about the situation and say 'Oh no, I can't do this.' Afterwards, at home, suddenly thoughts run and we try to process and understand, but at that moment I didn't have the emotional space to contain it. We were already in a sense of helplessness.

"In the whole sector, you hear about teams that were shot at and you can't reach them. It's talking to a person who says 'I ran and they shot at me,' and you can't get to me because Route 232 and all the roads around are blocked. And it's not one person who needs our help – it's dozens. It's a difficult feeling that you can't send ambulances. After all, this is our life: to jump on a vehicle and run, no matter in which area.

"Here, for the first time, we encountered a situation where there's an intensive amount of events, and you can't do anything except talk to them on the phone, try to help, encourage. In retrospect, this was the only spark of hope left for these people. And when I call them back, try to see what's happening with them, try to direct them to teams and then they don't answer, the sense of helplessness intensifies. We wanted to reach them, we couldn't, and here's the consequence. This was the main difficulty I had that day."

During this time, MDA teams are going out into the field amidst rocket fire and mortar shell impacts. "We're talking with the team in Sderot that was hit, and looking for a way to send them a team in an armored ambulance," Omri recalls. "A wounded person arrives at the station in Sderot and shooting begins towards the station and towards the pensioners' minibus, who were murdered right at the back of the station.

"The team runs back to the station. They lock themselves in. The ambulance remains running outside until they managed to leave again. This is a feeling of helplessness. In fact, our teams were no different from any other civilian – we couldn't provide a response for them either. Everything that's trivial from our perspective – there's a casualty, an ambulance arrives, they treat, transport to hospitals - this whole chain was broken.

"We certainly see that some of the attackers' targets were to hit MDA teams and they tried to reach the MDA station. They came to ambulances in communities, shot at the tires and burned them to disrupt the activity. This is the first time we dealt with the fact that we too are a target, and we can't move freely.

"In one of the cases, we had a team member inside a house, shot and waiting for us to arrive. We try to send military personnel to him and they say 'There's crazy shooting. We can't enter.' Eventually, contact was lost and he too was murdered."

9:00 Ronit Glaser, who arrived along with dozens of dispatchers to reinforce, arrives at her station. Already at the entrance, her colleagues at the center greeted her: "Get ready. You've never dealt with anything like this." "I've dealt with a lot. Attacks, wars. But I really didn't know what to expect," she recounts.

The first call was actually routine. The second already plunged her into the horror. On the line was Amit Man, an MDA paramedic, a resident of Be'eri who left immediately at the start of the attack with an on-call bag to save lives. "Hi Ronit, this is Amit from Be'eri. What's happening? When are you coming?"

"Let's see what I have here," says Ronit and tries to locate an available ambulance to reach Be'eri, but realizes it's impossible. "How do I tell her?" she asks aloud to her supervisor. "I have a paramedic in the clinic with wounded..."

Meanwhile, Amit is convincing one of the wounded not to leave the clinic. "I understand what you're saying, but wait, in a moment with God's help this will end," she tries to calm him.

"Amit, you're amazing," Ronit tells her and inquires about the condition of the wounded. "I have two wounded here, one in mild-to-moderate condition, one in moderate-to-severe condition, and one fatality," Amit reports and in the background active shooting can still be heard. "Stay strong," Ronit tells her, "I hope we can get there soon." The call disconnects.

"I had a call from someone very angry," Ronit recounts. He said, 'I don't understand what's going on with you, I've been in a hole in the ground for three hours, I have two dead friends and another friend with shrapnel who died in front of my eyes. When are you coming already? I've already sent you my location. What's the problem?'

"I ask him to try to keep quiet and explain that we're trying to reach him, but it's a battlefield. He said, 'I don't want to hear anything. Just come.'

"There was also a pleasant woman, an English speaker, from one of the kibbutzim in the area, who apologized for disturbing us when we're busy, but her husband was shot in the lower back and he's bleeding. I told her to press on the spot and try to stop the bleeding, and she told me, 'I know it will take you time to arrive. We're waiting patiently.'"

In the end, Ronit realized that this woman and her husband were also murdered.

"In another call, a pregnant woman told me her husband escaped from Nova and he's hiding. She asked me to try to talk to him. I hear a weak person, and a lot of shooting around. He doesn't know where he's hiding, he just knows there are attackers around him. I ask him to keep quiet and ask him 'Are you wounded?' He answers, 'There's something with my legs, but I'm not looking down. I can't.'"

Ronit asks him to think about his wife and the child that hasn't been born yet. "Do everything you can to stay alive and see her." He started sobbing on the phone and quickly faded away.

"There was also a pleasant woman, an English speaker, from one of the kibbutzim in the area, who apologized for disturbing us when we're busy, but her husband was shot in the lower back and he's bleeding. I told her to press on the spot and try to stop the bleeding, and she told me, 'I know it will take you time to arrive. We're waiting patiently.'"

In the end, Ronit realized that this woman and her husband were also murdered.

Another call from Amit reached Ronit a few hours later – asking for an update if there's an evacuation soon, updating on the situation, and when she hears from Ronit that they're still trying to reach but not succeeding, something in her voice changes: "I understand. Thank you."

"I hang up the call in frustration. How did I not help her? I'm a dispatcher. I'm supposed to send her an ambulance and in this case, I had nothing to do. This was a crazy emotional storm. We all work there from the heart and try to help as much as we can, that's why we're in MDA. But on that day, I didn't succeed from my perspective. It was like a band-aid on an amputation."

Another call comes in. "Roni MDA, hello."

On the other end of the line, someone is breathing heavily in stress. Roni asks: "What happened? Come, stay with me."

Caller: "I can't breathe. There are attackers near our house."

Roni asks to know in which city he lives, and the person replies: "We were in the living room, watching TV and then we heard shooting. We saw a car stop with attackers. I looked through the balcony and saw people with M-16s and keffiyehs."

Roni: "Okay, no problem. Listen for a second, can you listen to my instructions? Close all the blinds in the house, please turn off all the lights. Go to the innermost room. Is the house door locked? Good. Take a few knives with you just in case."

9:36

"MDA Ron."

Young man: "I'm in xxx. There are attackers in my house."

Ron: "Do you have a place to hide?"

Caller: "I'm in the safe room."

Ron: "Is it locked?"

Caller: "Yes, yes. Can you send someone urgently?"

Ron: "I'm sending someone."

Ron asks the caller to give her exact details about the location and asks for his name and the name of another family member who's with him in the room. In the background, approaching gunfire is heard, accompanied by shouts.

Caller: "There are attackers here trying to break down the door."

Ron: "Right now you hear that they opened the door?"

Caller, whispering: "Yes, they opened the door. They're in our house shouting in Arabic 'Open! Open!'"

Ron: "You're staying hidden."

Caller: "Of course, my brother is holding the door. Can you send soldiers here?"

Ron: "They're on their way to you."

Caller, whispering: "Should I send my location? They're breaking the door. They're trying to break the lock."

In the background, the strong knocking of the attackers on the door can be heard.

Ron: "Do you have a way to lock the shelter?"

Caller: "We don't have a way."

Ron: "How many people are in the house?"

Caller: "There are several attackers in the house, it's not just one."

Ron: "Do you hear them talking?"

Caller: "They told me 'Open, open', they're trying to open with a screwdriver, to break the door. Please, send someone!"

Ron: "We're coming to you. Do you have a place to hide?"

Caller: "We're in a small room. There's nowhere to hide. If they come in, we have no way..."

Ron: "Listen, does anyone there have a weapon? Stay with me on the line..."

The caller describes to Ron exactly where his house is located, and continues: "There's a smell of gunpowder. They're burning something in the house."

At that moment, a huge explosion is heard. "Aaahhhh!!! Aaahhhh!!!! They threw a grenade! I'm bleeding!!! I'm bleeding!!!" In the background, gunshots and screams of pain from the caller are heard. "Damn it, I'm bleeding!!! Ambulance!!! My whole back is blood!!! Ahhh!!!"

Ron tries to keep her composure: "Are you in the xxx neighborhood? How many attackers do you have in the house?"

Caller: "I have no idea. About three. They're still here."

Ron: "Don't speak loudly, speak quietly. Did they hit you?"

Caller: "In the back. They exploded... ahhh ... three grenades." The caller groans in pain. His breathing is rapid. "I have wounds in my lower back."

Ron: "Put a towel. Where were you hit in the back? Take a shirt or towel."

Strong knocking is heard in the background. Caller: "They're trying to break in with metal. Please come! They're trying to break the window! Please come!"

Silence falls. Ron tries to call to the caller. "I'm with you on the line," she tells him.

Caller: "I can't see anything, I'm inside the room. My brother is with me."

Ron: "Is there an attacker inside the house?"

Caller: "I don't know. I think they ran away. I'm wounded. They're still in the house. I need medical help. I need a doctor."

Ron: "Until the ambulance arrives, you're with me. On your back. Is the back bleeding from an explosion or gunfire?"

Caller: "From an explosion. I took a towel I'm against the wall. Trying to stop the bleeding."

Ron: "You're doing great. Excellent."

Caller: "It hurts."

Ron: "Is there another wounded person with you in the house?"

Caller: "My brother was lightly wounded in the leg. Light injury in the leg and arm. They're trying to break the safe room door. They've already entered the house. Please!"

The conversation continues in whispers and fear. At some point, the house catches fire. The brothers jump outside. Both were murdered that morning.

13:00

A 13-year-old girl calls from inside a safe room in Kibbutz Be'eri. Her father is next to her, and she's not sure if he's alive. He's wounded in the leg and bleeding, unconscious. Her mother was murdered, as was one of the siblings with her in the house. The house is dark and she's wounded too. Yael and the on-duty dispatcher guide her.

"That day I went through a disconnection," Yael recounts. "I was in my own zone at the station. I didn't hear anything around me. I felt that if I didn't answer this person, there was no one else who would. We didn't have much we could do. We understood that it was enough to provide security in all the uncertainty. To make them understand that there's a person beyond the line giving hope.

"Our goal was to guide them on how to hide well in the field, send a location, save someone else's life. This gives a bit of control and the conversation sounds different. From a panicked person who doesn't know what to do to one who suddenly mobilizes people, improvises and takes a belt or sweater to make a tourniquet.

"That girl, the 13-year-old, spoke with incredible composure," Yael recounts. "She really touched my heart. In the end, this call was also disconnected due to low battery. We thought she was the only one left, but a few days later we understood that she and her father, who lost a leg, were alive. This was one story that ended well, because many of the calls ended differently. She was like a ray of light. Something to hang hope on."

The post Frantic calls, desperate pleas: Inside Israel's emergency hotline on October 7 appeared first on www.israelhayom.com.