"We have two living mementos before our eyes, so it's hard not to think of Hadar and Itay. You bathe their twins and think to yourself - how are they not here? Parenthood was their dream; unfortunately, they won't be able to truly realize it."
These thoughts go through the mind of Inbar Rosenfeld (28), Hadar's younger brother, who was murdered along with her husband Itay Berdichevsky on Oct.7 in Kibbutz Kfar Aza by Hamas terrorists. They were only 30 years old – a beautiful, successful, loving couple who left behind twin toddlers, Guy and Roy. Since that dark day, they have been growing up without a mother and father. Today, they are a year and a half old and are being raised by their aunt, they have a warm and embracing family, but it's hard to realize they will never know their parents. "These thoughts arise – when will we need to tell them what happened? there is no answer, it's unknown when that moment will come. They are very young and clearly won't remember anything."
Hadar (née Rosenfeld) was born in Kfar Aza. Her parents arrived there as part of a Nahal group – a youth program developed in Israel, focusing on social volunteerism, agriculture, and military service – they fell in love and started their family there, a household consisting of two parents and six siblings. Inbar is the youngest, and Hadar is two years older than him. They had a special connection. He remembers when she met her husband, Itay, who grew up in Srigim, a community in central Israel: "They met through a mutual friend when they were around 20, and eight years later they got married. It was supposed to be their fourth year of marriage. For years Itay was an officer in the army, they lived in Beersheba in the south during their studies, and when they settled down they decided to establish their home in Kfar Aza, near the rest of the family. They knew they were going to raise their children here and start a family."
And indeed, they started their family there, where twins Guy and Roy were also born – the first twins in the nuclear family. Those were moments of pure joy, yet also challenging ones: "Caring for twins is a complex thing, the nights were long, it's not easy. Nevertheless, being parents meant the world to them, as a couple and as individuals. Despite the difficulty, the children were the light in their lives."
But on Oct. 7, their worlds went dark. Kfar Aza was under attack, terrorists broke in and murdered the couple. "We still have questions about what exactly happened inside the house," says Inbar. "Hadar's last message was at 6:54 a.m., she said she was stuck in the shelter with the kids' dirty diapers. They found her dead in the kitchen, she probably had gone out to prepare bottles for the kids. Itay's body was found in the shelter next to Guy and Roy. The forces that entered the house found them. They weren't hidden in a closet – they were lying side by side on the bed in the corner of the room, not on the bed exposed right in front of the door. Itay had only managed to dress one of them, this is something you can't manage to comprehend." Since then, both families have been trying to pick up the pieces after their shattering loss: "Even with all the sorrow and pain, it's essential to create a sense of normalcy for the children."
Hadar, who studied economics and accounting, worked at a startup company. "Everything reminds me of her. We had our own slang and our favorite songs. She was the best at what she did, they predicted her a great future and wanted her to advance in the company. Itay loved fitness, and together they had an affinity for good food and restaurants. She also loved baking and cooking. They were two amazing people, it was hard not to fall in love with them, together and individually. It's not a cliché, they really did take away the best of us." According to Inbar, he still hasn't managed to mourn them. "My family is still evacuated from their house, I have to take care of the twins, and fight for the return of my best friend Emily Damari, held captive in Gaza. I feel helpless and not emotionally available to mourn – there are larger issues that need tending to."
