When I asked her what gives her strength, I was surprised by how difficult it was for her to answer. I saw her trying to think of a response, and what she finally said was that there are good people in the world.
I felt that perhaps I hadn't phrased the question correctly, so I asked again. "No, no," I said. "Try to think. What really manages to lift you up when you can't get out of bed? Even something small."
But she continued to hesitate in her response.
As I thought about it, I realized that even for me, it's not easy to remember the things, even the small ones, that give me strength, even temporarily, to get up and live my life the way I want to.
Fortunately, I love challenges like this, and I also have a feeling that there's a considerable market for this challenge in the world right now. So I decided to make a list of things that give me strength. One that I can return to in times of trouble and choose something from it to lift me up, and in times when I have strength, I can update it and add to it so I don't forget for next time.
So here it is.
Coffee with a friend. I write coffee, but it could also be tea, grape "vitamintchik" (a popular vitamin drink), or even a glass of cold water with some ice cubes. Of course, you can upgrade, and instead of one friend, drink together with friends or sisters. You can expand to quality content, a luxurious outing, a vacation. But at its core, just sitting on the porch, on the grass, in a living room full of laundry, for twenty minutes of a power break with a friend – it's life-changing.
Buying a bouquet of flowers. One Tuesday, I was returning from a funeral. On the way, at some remote bus stop, a young man was sitting with his phone surrounded by many flowers. It wasn't Friday, there was no holiday, but he was selling flowers. I felt a bit sorry for him, but it must also be said that the flowers were beautiful. So I bought a bouquet, and when I got home and arranged it in a vase, I discovered how good I had done for myself by deciding to buy a colorful and fragrant bouquet that preserved my sanity for a few hours.
Putting the phone on the charger in the room, taking a book from there, and returning to the living room to read. Yes, this simple journey, from beginning to end, gives me momentary but very powerful strength. It's good to completely disconnect from what's doing me harm and connect to something that belongs to a reality that doesn't currently exist. To upgrade the experience, it's worth adding a square of chocolate.
Spontaneous outings with the kids. In the past, I did this more often, and I need to remember that it really gives strength. Gathering the kids and going together to a playground or the path surrounding the settlement or visiting other friends at their homes. We can also get in the car together to go refuel, and on the way, stop at some random local garden.
Calling mom. For my sins I mention today, I find it difficult to remember to call my mom. I love calling her, love talking to her, hearing her schedule, what she's preparing to eat, when she woke up this morning. Unfortunately, I don't always remember how much I love it. So here I've written it here (Mom, I know you're reading this). I hope, if not for her then at least for myself, that I'll implement this more. To upgrade the experience, call dad too.
Putting half a cabbage in the oven with a little oil and salt. Okay, I admit this is a bit strange and unexpected, but in my mind, oven-roasted cabbage is considered the pinnacle of culinary investment I can aspire to. When I remember to put half a cabbage in the oven and then enjoy it when it's ready, I suddenly feel like a more quality person who has many reasons to progress in life.
Listening to an old, silly song I once loved. This happens to me a lot during drives. Usually, I use the time to listen to a podcast or catch up on the radio. But if suddenly an old song comes to mind, one that makes me wonder what kind of person I was when I loved it – I play it for myself. Surprisingly, it always releases some tense muscle in the heart.
Creating new combinations with old clothes in the closet. I found a shirt I once loved to wear. It was folded at the bottom of the pile, and I couldn't remember when I last wore it. I decided to try wearing it with a different, quite new skirt. I looked in the mirror and saw someone refreshing there who has a creative and thinking mind capable of producing new from old. How much strength that gave me.
Seeing Zehava, my children's former kindergarten teacher, playing with new children in the settlement's kindergarten. I no longer have children in kindergarten, but I pass by it every day. This week I opened the window as I was leaving the settlement and saw her next to some unfamiliar children, and what a smile it brought out of me.
Returning from the mall to the car and signaling to someone looking for parking that I'm about to leave. This might be a bit silly, but the happiness on their face at that tiny moment, in which I actually did nothing, doesn't leave my mind.
Discovering that the kids left a tidy and clean house at the end of the day. And to tell the truth, the opposite also gives me strength: discovering they didn't clean, yelling at them and hearing them complaining and making excuses. There's no power more fulfilling than a few heated arguments with the children.
I'm amazed to discover that I've run out of space to write, I have so many more ideas that started to come up as I tried to think about what gives me strength. So I'll end with the last one: it gives me strength to write to you about what gives me strength. This list is open for updates and additions from me, but of course, also from you.
