The pressure evoked by the shidduch (matchmaking) system in the ultra-Orthodox world, along with the eagerness on part of many parents to see their children happily married off, forces a great deal of secrecy and suppression in the Orthodox community.
Mental and emotional health deficiencies are frequently shrouded in a desperate web of concealment, and traumas that should be treated and resolved in advance are often swept under the table with the unfortunate means justifying the sacred end of engagement and marriage.
Follow Israel Hayom on Facebook and Twitter
Amudim, an international association and crisis center combating sexual abuse and addictions in the Orthodox community, supports abuse victims and their spouses and is committed to saving their marriages from collapse.
This is done by partnering with Beis Din Vaad Hadin V'Hora'ah in Monsey, under the auspices of Rabbi Eliyahu Grodny, rosh yeshiva of Mir in New York. Amudim is in the midst of driving a new effort to raise awareness and focus on couples who are on the brink of divorce due to serious addictions or sexual abuse at the hand of a third party.
"Only abuse victims and their families are aware of just how profoundly and permanently such incidents can affect their lives, and the same applies to trauma and addiction," explains an Amudim case manager. "Without proper treatment and guidance, the collateral damage can be deeply injurious to a loved one – be it a spouse or child – whereas the right formula of help can save an entire family."
One case exemplifying the crucial assistance provided by Amudim deals with a young woman who was unknowingly abused by her doctor for many years.
After her marriage, she relocated to a different city, where her new doctor didn't perform similar invasive tests and she was dismayed to discover the years of abuse that she'd experienced. Her marriage suffered terribly as a result, to the point that the couple began exploring the possibility of divorce.
She and her husband referred them to Amudim, which paired them with a case manager who referred them to therapists equipped to handle these painful issues.
According to Amudim, Following months of intensive therapy and support, including Amudim's counterintuitive recommendation that her husband see a therapist as well, their marriage, which nearly disintegrated due to prior abuse, was saved.
