For Lily and her family, the war in Ukraine turned their lives upside down in an instant. What started as hiding in the basement of their Kharkiv home quickly escalated into a harrowing journey to flee the country as Russian forces laid siege.
"We decided to leave because hiding in the basement is not going to do anything," Lily recounts. "We can't go back to our neighborhood because it's closest to Russia and it's shelled daily," she said right after her escape, several months into the war, by phone.
And so their arduous escape began. Joining a small caravan of just four cars, Lily, her parents, sister, niece, and beloved pets – two cats and a large Rottweiler – made the difficult decision to leave everything behind. "The dog had documents, the rest, the two cats, you know, they had their shots, but they didn't have any kind of a passport, especially not a European passport."
The convoy faced immense challenges from the very start. Traffic jams caused by endless, disorganized blockades impeded every mile of progress. Fuel supplies dwindled as gas stations ran dry. At one point, they stood still for 18-20 hours at the Polish border as people callously cut the line.
"People are assholes," Lily says bluntly. "There's a war and they're still cutting in line."
Her frustration reached a boiling point as she resorted to threatening to break car headlights with a crowbar to regain order. Only the arrival of police allowed them to finally cross into Poland after over 16 hours of waiting.
But the journey was a neverending series of obstacles. With lodging packed full, Lily's sister utilized her network to find kind volunteers offering floors and spare rooms wherever they could. One night they slept in an elementary school under strict secrecy - no lights, only a trickle of hot water. Another night was spent in a loaned empty apartment.
All the while, Lily worked tirelessly to coordinate getting her elderly friend's mother with dementia rescued from her Kharkiv high-rise. She also tried to send medical supplies to the woman's father trapped in Russian-occupied areas.
Finally in Poland, they were taken in by a family's home near Warsaw. But the pets caused issues as the home's dog was hostile. Tempers flared constantly as the physical and mental toll of their circumstances weighed on everyone.
"It's exhausting," Lily laments. "Taking one shower in three days, you know it's just it's hard."
In the two years since their escape, Lily's family has scrambled to build a new life in Poland. Finding affordable rent that allows pets has proven extremely difficult. Her elderly parents struggle immensely with learning the tremendously difficult Polish language and have minimal prospects for work.
Although Ukrainian troops have managed to liberate Kharkiv, the war is anything but over, and in fact, Russia appears to have the momentum. While Lily herself has now found employment, the future remains highly uncertain. "I don't know that Kharkiv will ever be safe enough. Not until Russia falls apart," she says, wondering if they will ever return home.
Through Lily's powerful account, the true devastating costs of the conflict become viscerally clear. An entire family's lives have been upended, their community and belongings abandoned. While she expresses gratitude for their comparatively stable circumstances, the profound trauma remains.
"It's just been morally very hard, you know?" she says soberly. "You read the news...and it's scary. And heartbreaking."
