"A couple comes to me – the woman is Jewish and the man isn't. They want to get married but he doesn't want to convert. They want to be part of our community, to raise their children as Jews. If I tell them 'no,' we've lost them and their children, and that's it."
These words came from Rabbi Amichai Lau-Lavie, a Reform rabbi whose synagogue in New York is a meeting place for anyone who feels Jewish. He made the comment at a conference in Palo Alto, California, this week, sponsored by the local Jewish Community Center branch and Reut Group founded by Gidi Grinstein. The conference was born out of concern for the future of the relationship between Israel and Diaspora Jews, which has undergone a shift. Liberal Judaism, to which most American Jews subscribe, is drifting away from Israel, and young Jews decreasingly view Israel as a significant aspect of their identities.
One of the more fascinating issues discussed at the conference is assimilation. The general sense, supported by the numbers, is that intermarriage is becoming increasingly common. Young Jews are deeply entrenched in American society; they define themselves first and foremost as Americans and only then as Jews. This is the "price" that Judaism pays in an open, liberal society, where Jews are the minority.
What can be done? Is the Orthodox approach, which forfeits anyone who chooses to marry a non-Jew, the only option? Perhaps it's possible and even necessary to view Judaism as a culture, and not solely a religion? Does the Reform approach – which contends that simply maintaining a Jewish household is enough – not help stem the tide of assimilation? Should those who aren't Jewish according to religious law, yet want to live as Jews, not be welcomed?
Diaspora Affairs Minister Naftali Bennett tweeted this week that "Israeli-Diaspora relations are in an unprecedented crisis. … There is a serious assimilation problem and growing apathy among Diaspora Jews both to their Judaism and to Israel." Indeed, what does Bennett intend to do about it? Does he not understand that the apathy stems, in part, from the de-legitimatization of entire Jewish streams?
Yes, the Israeli establishment's attitude toward Reform Judaism carries considerable weight in this process of detachment from Israel. The Israeli government lends a hand to the current state of affairs in which the Orthodox stream has complete control over religious matters. This has led Jews in the United States to feel as if they have no place in Israel, that they have no representation. The U.S. is home to a large Jewish community, and the time has come to recognize that Judaism has two centers, not one. For one center to scorn the beliefs of the other is unacceptable. An opinion piece in the "The Forward," a monthly Jewish magazine in the U.S., said: "The time has come for Israel to recognize that Diaspora Jews are already home." This is right, and it would be wise for Israelis and Israel to respect this home.
