I woke up this morning with a great feeling:
Last night all the left-wing supporters left Israel, boarded a flight, and went to study at UC Berkeley, where there are enough antisemites who will be happy to welcome Israeli refugees.
Follow Israel Hayom on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram
My friend Ami Ben Roda posted on his Twitter account a picture of Obama, the leader of the anarchist movement, greeting him at the airport.
In response, I wrote "stay there, you miserable thing" and other deep-state curses, but in the end, it turned out that it was not actually Obama – but rather an Uber driver from Trinidad.
I didn't delete anything I wrote.
Years of organized campaigns have come to an end. Years of hearing the phrases "go live in Gaza", "go back to Europe" and "the protesters are the descendants of the Gestapo" bear fruit.
They finally got the message, and they left.
We made the message super clear to them: whoever doesn't like the country, should leave. All those who are arrogant with inflated egos who think they are better than others because they bombed the reactor in Iraq and gave a lecture in front of a crowd, all the miserable people "protesting reserve duty", all of the "medical teams", all those working in high-tech – all the terrorists we succeeded in driving away from here.
That's it, the anarchy is over!
The moment that I saw it was truly happening, I called my wife and informed her: we are moving to Tel Aviv. That was our dream for years – to live in the center of the country, enjoy ourselves, go to plays, and movies, but without all the elitists around.
I told her, "Our opportunity has come, finally Tel Aviv is in our hands."
Immediately I scheduled an appointment with a realtor. I got extremely excited, I imagined us leaving the building, and sitting on Rothschild Bouleveard drinking coffee. I wave to Ricklin, and call out "Hey, what's up?" Even Linon Magal is sitting down for a beer with Eldad Yaniv.
The ride to Tel Aviv took 22 minutes. On the way, a Mercedes cut me off. I got annoyed, and at a red light I rolled down the window and screamed at him "You privileged anarchist, you Ashkenazi garbage".
But then I realized that the last one left yesterday and I hurt a person without privileges. I apologized, and I got a bitter taste in my mouth.
Five minutes later I suddenly remembered that on Friday it's my mother-in-law's birthday, I called to reserve a table at Haim Cohen's restaurant, I've been obsessed with him ever since he was on "Master Chef". "We are closed on Friday and on Shabbat, the law requiring businesses to close on weekends passed two months ago", said the young woman at the other end of the call. I'm so stupid, how could I have forgotten? After all, when it happened there was a small demonstration in front of the Knesset by some of the leftists who had not yet left. And my son, such a good kid, told me that there was a boy he was in class with, and he really liked him.
The next day my son's friend left, for Berlin.
The apartment realtor showed me three rooms in one project, "The ruins near HaBima Theater". "All the actors left, there are no more funds for government financing of culture so the theatre was removed. A tower is being built there instead." I looked at the prices and couldn't believe it: ridiculously expensive as if we didn't kick the billionaires out of here. "Hey buddy, there are sanctions. Do you know how much it costs now to import ceramics from Turkey? And no tax revenues. But thank G-d, a fully right-wing Jewish government".
I got in the car with a heavy heart, I thought that listening to music might help. I turned on the radio, and boom: Shlomo Artzi and Idan Amedi's song "Brothers" was playing. The words in the song as translated to English mean "For a soul in overnight parking in Eilat, Zohar Argov, Arik 'drive slowly'", immediately I turned off the radio. "Overnight parking", come on, he is singing about the privilege that Hanan Yovel displayed when he refused to perform in front of the Knesset. Suddenly the broadcast stopped: a terrorist attack. Dead, injured, I don't understand how it happened, after all, we fired the legal advisor a long time ago.
The national security minister arrived immediately at the scene of the crime. What a guy, I love his TikTok videos. But then something strange happened: The interviewer asked him who was responsible for the attack and he… got silent.
There is no longer a Supreme Court, there are no more leftists, and there is no one to blame anymore.
Subscribe to Israel Hayom's daily newsletter and never miss our top stories!
