'Tis the season – the blazing sun and summer heat gave way to yellow leaves and colder weather, followed by the holiday season. But for Israelis, October marks a somber milestone – an entire year has passed since Hamas' deadly attack on Oct. 7, an attack that has changed our lives as we knew them forever.
As Israel commemorates Oct. 7's first anniversary, the war is far from over. 101 hostages are still held in Gaza for over 365 days, Israel has commenced its ground offensive on the northern front, citizens are still displaced and rockets are still piercing Israel's skies, with Iran's unprecedented ballistic missile attack being the "icing on the cake."
And yet, after all this chaos, somehow the world continues to spin; the sun continues to shine; and Israelis move forward. For a whole year, we have been burdened with balancing a continuous existential threat with a need to maintain somewhat of a routine. What makes us such "experts" in doing that?
As a matter of fact, we have been burdened with this task for generations, and according to Digital Psychologist Liraz Margalit, this is precisely the secret to Israeli society's resilience.
"This is an ability that has developed in us gradually. If I compare the pace of events in Israel to the rest of the world, it's no wonder we have news every half hour – the volatility here is unlike anywhere else," she explained. "When you're exposed to such an environment from a young age, you learn to cope with such events, both big and small."
Essentially, what Margalit is saying is it's as if our entire lives have prepared us for this kind of coping, "Which sounds terrible when you think about it," she reflected. "We live dealing with existential threats and constant anxiety. For example, on Oct. 7, there was this shocking statement by the residents of the south who initially said, 'We thought it was just rockets.' Where else in the world would people say, 'Oh, it's just rockets'? We're much more accustomed to dealing with threats compared to the rest of the world."
It is, quite astonishingly, common in Israel to experience rounds of conflict every few years, either on the southern or northern front. Rockets have essentially become a routine matter, as well as terrorist attacks. "It hurts us, but we're already used to it," Margalit said, explaining this pattern of behavior: "This is a biological mechanism called habituation. Take COVID-19 for example – at first, we were very anxious, but anxiety and fear started to decrease as it became our reality."
Countering my mistaken impression that Israelis develop apathy to cope with difficult events, Margalit explained that as we continue to live with ongoing stressors, the body, ironically, eventually calms down, since it can't remain in a state of anxiety indefinitely. "It's a survival mechanism, an adaptive one. When we compare Israel to other places, our threshold is much higher; it takes a lot more to throw us off balance," she concluded.
Survival mode sounds just about right for describing life in Israel, but it manifests differently than one might initially expect. Rather than hiding away at home, you see Israelis out and about, even at times of prominent escalation. This demonstrates resilience like no other, refusing to surrender in the face of fear, yet it was important for Margalit to emphasize that as much as it might be perceived as the perfect machoism or invulnerability, resilience is actually about flexibility – the ability to adapt to changing circumstances.
This is quite a jarring realization, as our natural instinct is to push back against challenging situations we encounter. When facing ongoing difficult circumstances, we often try to control every possible aspect to cope. However, it turns out that true resilience and the ability to handle anxiety are not measured by how much we fight against our situation, but by our capacity to adapt, to flex "like rubber," as Margalit said – adjusting to circumstances beyond our control.
However, extreme events or an ongoing reality marred by pain can eventually lead to a breaking point – even if you are fortunate enough not to live in a conflict zone – with anxiety emerging as one of the most common mental health challenges in the general population. In that case, speaking with a professional or simply writing down our feelings can be very helpful, according to Margalit. "It may sound cliché, but it's backed by science – when we take our disorganized feelings and put them into words on paper, it creates distance from those emotions. We can see that our feelings are manageable and controllable. This act alone can bring tremendous relief."
Another technique psychologists recommend is performing a ritual – writing down all negative thoughts by hand on paper and then burning that note.
"When people I work with start journaling for the first time, whether due to anxiety, heartbreak, or any other issue, it's chaotic at first," Margalit added, "But by the second or third day, they start feeling better, all through this repetitive writing process. It helps create order within our emotions, which is why it's so effective."
Creating a sense of order seems like a distant dream in Israeli reality. The same applies to anyone on the planet who has ever experienced anxiety of any kind. But if there's one thing Israeli society excels at – and something the world can benefit from learning – is standing firm in the depths of chaos. Why? For one seemingly simple reason – as Golda Meir once said, "I guess we have no choice." The Israeli take on anxiety is about believing you'll ultimately prevail.
