This week we learned that we spend more money than we make. This discovery always comes as a complete surprise, despite the fact that at the back of our mind we do understand the complex mathematics of "If you have a negative bank account, stop ordering takeout."
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We thought of finding a financial adviser who would tell us to start cooking meals at home, but why would we pay someone to tell us what we already know? And now, given that I have several thousands shekels saved through financial advice, I can afford to order takeout.
In general, for my husband and I, two musicians, the concept of proper money management is a bit amusing, because the first thing we should have done was change professions. Then change personalities. And then change partners, which we probably won't do, because both of us love ordering food.
But it's not just the food ordering apps that are keeping me from losing weight and safely making it to the end of the month. November is over and we can go back to our normal shopping habits, instead of last month's frenzy of Black Friday and Cyber Monday.
As I was virtually window shopping, I got a call from the bank. Like any other person, I immediately freaked out and tried to recall my recent purchases lest I overspent. Turns out, there was no reason to worry, as the bank contacted me as part of its end-of-the-year courtesy call to find out if I'm happy.
Spoiler alert – I'm not. I have no money. Can't the bank do something about it? They are the professionals, they should know about this.
It used to be easier. Before I started making purchases based off of Instagram ads. I swear, that algorithm known me better than most people. In fact, I'd be happy if it was in charge of my birthday gifts next year instead of getting another body lotion or vanilla scented candle. Thanks, but I don't want to smell like a pastry.
We buy things we don't need thinking it will change our lives, make life easier for us and better. And even though it never happens, we keep up the hope. You'd think as a singer, I would be better off, but no, I'm just an average person with a negative bank account, whose nails need a new coat, whose car is full of snack crumbs, and who is crumbling for a new phone.
Ladies and gentlemen, look at my picture at the top. This is a woman who bought absolutely nothing on Black Friday. No need for applause, thank you very much. No standing ovation. I was strong, I was brave and I did what I thought was right for me and my family. And to celebrate this, I went to IKEA and spent money like water.
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