Rotem Blohman was just 18 when she met Yakir, the man who would become her husband and the center of her world.
"We were really two kids," she told Israel Hayom. Over the 10 years that followed - "ten good and happy years in which we grew and developed together" - they built a life grounded in love, respect and family, supporting each other's careers while raising two sons who were, as Rotem calls them, "the greatest wealth."
To the couple, it "was very, very clear, that the most important thing in the world is first the home, and the children before everything," she said.
Their older son had started first grade just a month before his father was killed.
Staff Sergeant Major Yakir Blohman, 33, was a detective squad leader at the Segev Shalom police station and lived in Dimona. On October 7, 2023, he set out toward the Re'im area to rescue civilians. He was killed that afternoon during a rescue operation.
The day before, the family had been camping at the Sea of Galilee for Sukkot. They loved traveling and going on adventures. "We lived from trip to trip," Rotem said.
"We have a family photo at the sea, less than 24 hours before he was killed," she shared.
They returned home to the south on Friday evening, October 6. The next morning, the sirens began.
There were almost never any sirens in Dimona before the war, so the family wasn't especially alarmed at first. "When there was a siren, we were sure it was a malfunction," Rotem said. "The first thing we did was get up and just look out the window. No one understood this could happen, especially in Dimona."
As the sounds of impacts and gunfire grew closer, the family moved to an interior room. Yakir followed updates on his phone. Although it was his day off, he decided to help, joining colleagues in rescuing civilians, some of them friends, around 9 a.m.
During his final rescue operation, gunmen fired an RPG at his vehicle from inside a house. He was killed instantly, shortly before 2 p.m.
It took nearly a week before Rotem learned what had happened. Until then, she was certain Yakir was still alive.
"I was really, really sure," she said. In Rotem's eyes, Yakir was unbreakable. "We used to joke that Yakir is a 'kir (wall in hebrew).' He's a wall, nothing can break him, and nothing can move him.
"Everyone later told me, 'you knew.' I told them, 'listen, Yakir is such a strong person. He'll come back. He's a very calculated person. He's very cool-headed. He's not an impulsive person. He has to come back. '"
As she waited for news, Rotem cared for her two young children, recalling the surreal experience of combing their hair and checking them for lice as the world outside fell apart.
"I remember, when he was killed, sitting and combing hair. The children had long hair, and I'm combing their hair, and checking them for lice. And then I say, what a reality. I'm doing the most everyday things, the most routine things in the world. At this time I didn't even know where he was, there's a war outside and there are terrorists, and I don't know where he is. But life demands you function as normal. As if nothing happened."
Learning to live with loss
Since losing Yakir, Rotem has been trying to come to terms with her grief while leaning on family and friends. Yakir had been especially close to her family and siblings.
"He was an inseparable part of my family," she said. "My siblings lost a brother."
Yakir immigrated to Israel from Russia as a child with only his mother; his younger brother was later born in Israel. Over the years, he also became like a brother to Rotem's sisters.
"We grew up together, me and Yakir," she said. He often spent time at her sisters' homes, drinking coffee and sharing hobbies with them, from fishing to cooking. Rotem described these relationships as "completely separate from me."
That closeness meant her siblings were grieving their own loss, too.
"They went through a loss too," she said. "It was hard for them to be there too at the beginning."
For Rotem, learning to accept help took time. At first, she didn't know how to ask for help and wasn't prepared for how hard it would be.
"I didn't know how to ask for help. I didn't even know myself what I needed, so I couldn't even know what to ask for."
Now, she knows how to ask for help on the hardest days. This past October 7, anticipating a difficult day, she called her sister to ask if the children could sleep over at her.
"I wanted them to sleep at her house so I could put my phone on silent, stay up late if I wanted to, cry if I needed to, and have some time alone with myself without that responsibility."
Still, family and friends could not fill the space Yakir had left behind.
"Nothing in the world can replace having my husband here at home with me, living with me, sharing my everyday life, and making sandwiches for the children. At the end of the day, though, the struggle is mine. It's me and the children."
Finding a way forward
Unlike many communities near the Gaza border that were attacked on October 7, Dimona was not evacuated. After Yakir's death, Rotem moved with her children to Petah Tikva for a short period, only for their home there to be struck by an Iranian missile. Within about a year, she returned to Dimona to be closer to family.
"We understood that it's best for us to be near people who know us and can help us," she said. "It's not just help, it's even the fact that my child has friends he knows here and can go on a bike ride with."
Shortly after Yakir's death, Rotem was put in touch with the IDF Widows and Orphans Organization (IDFWO), an Israeli nonprofit providing emotional, social and practical assistance to families of fallen Israeli soldiers and security personnel.
For Rotem and her sons, the organization has become an important source of support, particularly for her older son, who struggled deeply after his father's death.
"We tried all kinds of ways to help him, and eventually he fell in love with sports. His whole treatment is through sports."
Through the organization, he now trains twice a week with a private coach and competes on the Israeli Ninja Team.
"It simply did wonders for the child. He found a way to channel his energy to another place. And he's flourishing," Rotem said.
IDFWO also funds seasonal camps for children who have lost a parent, held four times a year. The gatherings give Rotem's sons a chance to spend time with peers who understand their experiences.
"They wait so, so, so much for these gatherings," Rotem said. "It's their time to be with their peer group, with people who understand them."
Children who lost their parents years earlier can also offer a perspective that comes only with time.
"I think my son wouldn't dare open up, or even think about these things, with other people," she added.
The organization has also given Rotem a community of her own. At gatherings for widows, she found women who understood the experience of losing a partner in a way that even those closest to her could not. At one Hanukkah gathering, she sat with other widows and spoke about her struggles.
"That was the first time there was someone who could understand me, that I could talk, I could say what I have [on my mind]."
One encounter, with Tami Shelach, the chairwoman of IDFWO, stayed with her. Shelach had been widowed decades earlier, when her husband, Lt. Col. Ehud Shelach, fell during the Yom Kippur War. Her children had been young at the time but went on to become successful adults, some even becoming pilots.
Rotem, meanwhile, was still deep in grief and could not imagine a life without her husband.
"I thought I was going to die along with him, that I wouldn't have anything else in life," she said.
Shelach's story showed her that it was possible to survive the loss and still build a life.
"She [Tami] came, and she said 'listen, in the end the children get back on their feet, in the end they become successful, each one in their own right. You'll have a life, you'll have a future. You're not dead."
Rotem said Shelach's words gave her hope that she and her children could have a future, too.
Adv. Zehava Gross Meidan, chairwoman of IDFWO, said: "Three years after October 7, the State of Israel is committed not only to remembering those who fell, but also to standing alongside the families who carry their loss with them every day. Widows and orphans continue to rebuild their lives within a reality that was forced upon them, and our responsibility as a society is to ensure that they receive the recognition, support and place they deserve."
Shlomi Nachumson, CEO of the organization, added: "Since October 7, the organization has been required to significantly expand the support and services it provides to widows and orphans and adapt them to the new reality. Three years on, we already know that there is no one solution that suits everyone; every family copes differently, and each stage of life brings with it different needs."
Remembering Yakir
Asked what she wants people to remember about Yakir, Rotem reflected on their time together and the importance of valuing ordinary moments of family life, even those that can feel difficult at the time.
"I think the most important thing to me that they take from Yakir, and it sounds a bit paradoxical, is that we don't live forever, and the time with the children doesn't come back. Especially the days that could sometimes be hard, needing to assemble a tent, needing to teach the child patiently how to be careful, those are actually the most beautiful moments, the moments that stay with the children, the best memories."
She also stressed the importance of being grateful for each day and not taking anything for granted.
"I think when you live in Israel, it's even more pronounced," she added. "You don't know what will be, you don't know if tomorrow morning you'll wake up to another war."
People often tell Rotem she is strong, she said, though she would rather not have to be.
"I didn't want to be strong. I don't want to be strong. And I really, really don't want my husband to be a hero. I wanted him here, with me. But sometimes life demands that we be strong, and to stand even where we didn't think we'd need to."
"We don't choose the cards we have to play life with," she said. "But those are the cards we got, and with that we need to play, and try to do our best."
