Long before the transgression of Rabbi Dov Haiyun, who married people to whom marriage was forbidden under Jewish law, there was another transgression – a moral one. It's called the connection between religion and state. The regulator interfered where he had no business to do so – a person's faith. Bringing regulation into Jewish tradition and making it into law is one of the worst things that can happen to tradition.
Jewish tradition is a kind of book that provides guidance and tips for how to be a good society made up of good people. It includes obvious things like "Thou shalt not commit murder" and "Thou shalt not steal," goes on to "Honor thy father and mother," and warns us to refrain from speaking ill of others, as well as advising us to take a day off each week to rest and be with our families. It has been accepted since time immemorial that the laws in the Torah were given to a society of people, the people to whom the Book of the Covenant was offered. No one forced it upon them.
There is no law in Israel that requires people to circumcise their sons, or any law that outlaws driving on Yom Kippur. Which is why 99% of Israeli Jews observe these two commandments. Marriage and divorce, like the issue of Shabbat observance in public, have been discussed in the Knesset and turned into an unending public debate and fuss. People cannot be compelled by law to help one another, and there is no law that requires people to smile at each other in the morning. No Knesset member can pass a law that decrees that family is not important – it's more important than anything. These issues can only be anchored by education and in the values we pass on to our children. Likewise, we cannot force people to understand what it means to belong to a nation and what they should believe in.
Jewish tradition plays an active role in shaping the Jewish people. It is family meals on Passover eve, celebrating Hanukkah with the children, and a sense of introspection and forgiveness on Yom Kippur. A Jewish wedding is part of that tradition. Those who love tradition and connect to it can connect, and it is the right of those who don't to opt for alternative ceremonies. Jewish tradition is a privilege, not an obligation. Anyone who wants to contribute to it should take care to remove it from the laws of the country. Separate religion and state! People need to choose for themselves how to mark their lifelong partnerships. Education and choice determine whether Jewish tradition will be a part of that. It certainly can't be up to someone being detained by the police.
