The world is conflicted on many subjects, but a sole worldwide consensus exists – dating in 2024 is hard. As if Valentine's Day isn't enough, Tu B'Av – the Jewish holiday of love, is right around the corner to remind us yet again of the mission impossible that is dating, highlighting how much we crave love.
With dating apps dominating the world, romance has thrown in the towel. Spontaneous meet-cutes have been replaced with doom-scrolling through a catalog of potential partners, hoping to become part of the statistics of those lucky matches that lead to a lifetime of happiness. Don't get me wrong, I have no complaints about living in the 2000s, but it made me ponder how people searched for love back in the day.
It was a well-known Tu B'Av tradition for women, dressed in white, flowers adorning their heads, to dance as part of a match-making festival to find a love interest. While it would be more fitting in 2024 if all genders participated, I focus on this tradition's emphasis on joy, face-to-face communication, and connection – elements our society currently lacks.
The absence of a human connection beyond smartphone screens is so prominent, that in Israel, the Tel Aviv Municipality itself intervened and initiated a singles event for the Israeli crowd, especially for Tu B'Av. When your family sets you up on a date, you know the situation is dire. But when the government steps in? it is a whole lot worse.
Although times are different and late singlehood doesn't make you an old maid, and although celebrating a "Galentines Day" is quite fun, the truth catches up with you eventually – nothing replaces a true love bond. As tacky as it sounds, whether we care to admit it or not, we would much rather await a sweet surprise celebration from our partner. The only problem is – no one is willing to dance freely in the fields.
It seems we'd rather keep our options open, even when we like someone, always believing a better version might come along. So many opportunities are missed due to a shallow impression of a mere photo with a caption, mainly aimed at impressing rather than showcasing your true self. This loop traps millions worldwide, causing them to give up on dating or love itself. We've become unable to form live connections or take leaps of faith, fearing rejection – causing us to conform to meaningless relationships as no one is ever deemed "good enough."
In this old-new tradition of celebrating Tu B'Av, we can choose to make these modern times simpler times. Whether at a municipality-planned event or not, we can give a raw conversation a chance, trust our gut, and become a little conservative perhaps – explore our options while being careful enough not to overlook a treasure.
