We woke up on Monday to more headlines about Iran, missile fire, and Israel's response. For many people, it no longer felt like breaking news, but like another chapter in a reality that has stretched on for nearly three years.
Beyond the reports of attacks, there is another kind of damage that rarely gets attention: the disruption of people's personal timelines. Weddings are postponed, businesses remain unopened, moves are delayed, studies are put off, and major life decisions are pushed forward again and again. Months become years, and many people find themselves living in a permanent state of waiting.
First, I postponed my plans. Then, I stopped talking about them
We make plans because we believe there is a future to plan for. But when uncertainty becomes permanent, that ability begins to weaken.
Psychologists sometimes describe this as "life suspension": functioning day to day while feeling that real life will begin only later.
The problem is that the brain adapts. The longer a decision remains unresolved, the more postponement becomes the default. Gradually, people stop seeing themselves as someone about to open a business, start studying, move homes, or make a major change. They adjust to life as it is. The goal moves further away, until it no longer feels real.
The cost of putting life on hold
Prolonged uncertainty is one of the most powerful sources of stress. It is linked to sleep problems, difficulty concentrating, impaired decision-making, reduced motivation, and a higher risk of anxiety and depression. The mind keeps looking for the moment when it will finally be possible to plan again.
But the deeper injury is to our sense of meaning. The ability to imagine a future and move toward it is one of the foundations of resilience. When people stop planning or feel there is no point because everything may change, they can gradually lose the feeling that they are moving forward at all.
Keeping our heads above water
Our identity is shaped by the story we tell ourselves about who we are becoming. That story gives us meaning, energy, and momentum.
When a long time passes without forward movement, the story begins to wear down. Instead of feeling a sense of growth, people feel they are simply maintaining the current situation and keeping their heads above water. Instead of building the next chapter, they focus on preserving the present one. Over time, they may begin to feel distant from themselves.
Maybe I stopped hoping so I would not be disappointed
At first, uncertainty hurts. Later, it often becomes numb. The mind protects itself from repeated disappointment by lowering expectations. Slowly, people stop thinking about what they want and focus on what they must do. Curiosity, excitement, and anticipation begin to erode.
How do we stop living on hold?
The answer is not to wait for complete certainty. It may not arrive.
Instead of asking, "When can I return to my original plan?" ask, "What can I do now?" Take one course instead of committing yourself to a degree. Open the business on a smaller scale. Set a wedding date, even for a more modest event. Begin a career change before every detail is clear.
Even a small intentional step restores control and reduces stagnation.
Many of us feel as if someone pressed pause, and that one day we will press play and continue where we stopped. But life keeps moving while we wait. The real question is how we keep living, choosing, and building before this is over.
Michal Shraga Slonim is a certified HeartMath practitioner and Deputy VP of the Integrative Division at Medical Care Rehabilitation Hospital in Israel.
